Doctors have long known that morning sickness — the nausea and vomiting usually experienced in early pregnancy — is actually a good sign of a healthy pregnancy, despite the discomfort it brings.

"Discomfort"?  I think a more accurate phrase might be "agony", but let's just go with it.  MSNBC goes on to explain that researchers believe morning sickness isn't just a sign of a healthy pregnancy, but it may actually benefit a pregnancy.

Instead, morning sickness is usually triggered in specific circumstances — in response to:

• the sight, smell, or taste of meats and strong-tasting vegetables, which were historically likely to contain foodborne microbes or birth-defect-inducing chemicals;
• alcohol and cigarette smoke.

This all suggests morning sickness serves a useful function, evolving to protect mothers and embryos from things that may be dangerous, the researchers figure.

 

Also, in women who experience morning sickness, symptoms peak precisely when embryonic organ development is most susceptible to chemical disruption, between week six and week 18 of pregnancy.

I have birthed four children and miscarried two, and my own experience provides anecdotal support of this.  My four healthy pregnancies had me wretching like a mad woman, while the miscarriages never produced a single wave of nausea.  And it is true, that there is a warped sense of comfort for a pregnant woman hovered over the toilet seat, knowing that those awful symptoms are, perhaps, a good sign of strong hormones coursing through her body.

But even if it's a healthy indication of a good thing, there's no denying that morning sickness is hard.  Very hard.  My own days of the scourge were, sadly, before my blog-reading days.  That would've been some excellent support, had I been able to sit up late at night (when I was always sickest) hearing how other women are coping.

Susan Wagner shared her own coping skills at Parent Dish:

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I had horrible morning sickness. The only thing that settled my stomach was Tim's Cascade brand salt and vinegar potato chips. I ate them with every meal, three or four after my cereal or my sandwich or my broiled chicken and roasted broccoli. Without the chips -- and only that one flavor and that one brand worked -- I felt like crap all the time.

Mandy King wonders if "pregnancy amnesia" extends to morning sickness:

I’ve heard people say that God gives women amnesia regarding labor/childbirth/sleepless nights, but I think he does it in regard to morning sickness as well. 

But she goes on to talk herself through it as best she can:

As I have said, I will not complain. I won’t allow it. I wanted another baby and now here I am.

Bethany at Wife Like Me learned that morning sickness sometimes forces a woman to reveal her pregnancy sooner than she'd like:

I’m only six weeks along, and it’s “traditional” to wait to tell everyone until you hit 12 weeks or so, but I’m not good at keeping secrets about myself.  Besides, the flu-like symptoms that convinced me to take the pregnancy test in the first place are likely to get much worse in the near future if my history is any indicator, and moving while exhausted and sick and trying to hide it from everyone just takes too much energy.  I’m not much of a trooper when it comes to all-day morning sickness and I’m going to need lots of help!  So, we decided to just get the announcement over with.

My own best coping skill, for anyone who might be reading this from a laptop on the bathroom floor, was weak lemonade.  It sounded good to me, and it seemed to settle my stomach.  Only later did I learn that the scent of lemons is actually a common aromatherapy tool for battling nausea.

I guess it just proves, once again, that a woman's body knows what it's doing.

Shannon Lowe is a BlogHer Contributing Editor (Mommy/Family), and she writes at Rocks In My Dryer.

Mother's Day is just around the corner, and today BlogHer is launching a series called "Mother Knows Best". We're inviting you to join us in celebrating the best things our mothers taught us. In the comments section below, or on your own blog, post about the best lessons you learned from your mom. We'll all learn something!

I'd need multiple posts to share all the things my own mom did right--she's an amazing woman. Now that I know what a hard job parenting is, I look back and marvel at how effortless she made it seem. These are the lessons that have stayed with me the most strongly, and they're the ones I'm trying to teach my own children:

"Take it slowly." My mom reminded me (often) that good things come to those who wait. When I begged to wear a face full of make-up in the seventh grade, she insisted that we add make-up items gradually, over a couple of years. If you get all the goodies of adulthood now, she explained, what new and exciting thing does that leave for next year, and the next?

"I take you seriously." I do not know how my mom kept a straight face raising me. A flightier, more melodramatic girl there could not have been. But as she talked me off ledges, she never minimized my fears or drama or concerns. She listened to me, in all seriousness, and I trusted her because of it.

"I love your dad." It's no small thing for a girl to know her parents are best friends. That sets the bar pretty high.

"Kill 'em with kindess." My mom is the friendliest person I know. I've heard my dad say that the devil himself could move next door, and my mom would bake him cookies. But I watched her, time and again, diffuse difficult situations with her gentle warmth. I watched her like a hawk and tried to learn from her. Still do.

"I'm here." And she always has been. Whether it was a skinned knee when I was eight, or post-partum depression when I was 30, she's just been there, gently rubbing away the rough spots. That's an amazing safety net for a young girl, and a grown woman, and I don't take it for granted for even a minute.

I'm a lucky girl.

Shannon Lowe is a BlogHer Contributing Editor (Mommy/Family), and she also writes at Rocks In My Dryer. If you'd like to participate in this blog carnival, leave your link to your own Mother Knows Best post below.

There.  I said it.

We do plenty of fun things together, but crafting + children + momma has, in the past, been a recipe for some stress around here.  I don't like this about my parenting, and I want to improve (read: loosen up).  One of my children is especially creative, and I know it's in his best interest for me to get over my control-freak hang-ups about having things "just so".

I confess that I get a little overwhelmed at the messes generated by a crafty day (or afternoon.  Or hour).  And when you’re dealing with multiple children, adjusting the same craft to more than one age level can be a challenge. 

But no more.  I’m committed to diving into the glue and paint headfirst with my kids.  Especially with the school-free days of summer looming, I've been doing some browsing around the blogosphere lately for some ideas.  I've been interested to find moms writing about crafting with their kids and providing some specific ideas and resources.

Here are some of the things I've been finding:

Amanda of Soule Mama is a mom committed to exposing her children to as much creativity as possible.  She literally wrote the book on it, The Creative Family.  See this post, in which she helps her son with an embroidery project.

Patricia Mayville-Cox of Green Daily has some ideas specifically eco-friendly ideas.  These earth Rice Krispie treats are just too much fun.

B&B Ex Libris has offered up a book review of the book Making Stuff For Kids.  She writes:

The brilliance of it is where it calls out to parents and children alike: pick me up!!! Be creative!! Get messy! Don't stress!

*deep breathing*  I can do this.  And I think I'm buying that book.

Design Mom guest author Maria writes an excellent and practical piece on relaxing a little where kids' crafts are concerned. She gives specific pointers about stocking supplies, and helping younger kids (use tape instead of glue, whenever possible).

Kids' Craft Weekly is a free weekly newsletter with children's crafting ideas specifically designed to be inexpensive and simple.  I'm really impressed with the "do-ability" of this site.  My kids are going to love these stained-glass windows.  And these patty-pan flowers are adorable.

Instructables.com ("the world's biggest show and tell") has an entire section devoted to kid-friendly crafts.  Check out the paper wallet!  My pre-teens would love to give this a try.

Step one in my new Craft Mom Era begins this weekend.  We're going to do some art on canvas for local art festival next month, in which local children are invited to make their own presentations. 

We can do this. 

Shannon Lowe is a BlogHer Contributing Editor (Mommy/Family), and she also writes at Rocks In My Dryer.  She is hyperventilating a little at the thought of glue in the carpet, but she's pushing through it.

But my boy wanted to know more.

“Tell me something about each of the guys running,” he said. (Never under-estimate the ability of a child to keep you on your toes.)

“They aren’t just guys,” I said, explaining to him about Hillary. I then went through each of the candidates of both parties, trying to tell him a little fact I thought he’d especially find interesting.

“Mitt Romney used to be in charge of the Olympics,” I said.

“Cool!” was his response. “It would be great to have a president who’s an athlete!” I let that one slide.

“Rudy Giuliani was mayor of New York City,” I went on.

"Rudy Giuliani? That sounds like another girl name,” he said.

We continued through the list, and when I was finished, my son wanted to know who I was voting for. I told him I’d vote Republican, but I was still undecided which one.

“I think you should vote for the guy who was the soldier. He sounds very brave,” Stephen offered. I told him I was considering it.

It was the first of many discussions our family has had this political season. This is the first presidential election in which I’ve had kids old enough to understand what is going on. The political junkie in me is having a ball sharing the experience with my children, teaching them about the mechanics of an election.

But I’m also seeing presidential politics in a different light—through my kids’ eyes. The dirtiness of modern American politics looks even dirtier when you try to put it in terms a child can understand. More than once, we’ve simply turned the pundit-filled radio or TV off when the kids come in to the room.

These are a few of the guiding principles I’m following in talking with my kids this political season:

Involve them at every level. We’re discussing the whole process openly. The kids have watched bits of significant speeches from numerous candidates. We’ll take them with us to vote, and we’ll even try to get them to watch a few election returns with us (though I’m fully aware it will help if I bribe them with cheese dip). It’s interesting and refreshing to ask our kids on feedback about different issues and candidates, even though they know Mom and Dad are the ultimate decision-makers. Kids Voting USA has some excellent resources for parents, as does Kids Turn Central.

Consider what they’re hearing at school. Kids talk about what they hear adults say. They just do. And sometimes they don’t get their stories straight. As with all important topics, I want to be sure my kids learn the important lessons from my husband and me--not on the playground. The Barack Obama/Jeremiah Wright story is a good example: I suspected this might be discussed at school, so I pre-emptively explained in simple, non-inflammatory terms what was going on.

Treat the other side fairly. Speaking respectfully of others is a priority in our home, and a presidential election doesn’t offer an exemption. We are frank with our children about what we believe—and why—and they know who we're supporting (incidentally, we decided on the "brave soldier" after all). But we would never bash the people for whom we do not vote. Our own family has people at every conceivable spot on the political spectrum, and we’ve used that fact to explain to our kids that good people can disagree about politics, and still like each other!

With months to go in the election, I suspect there are many “teachable moments” ahead. We’ll have many chances to teach our kids about democracy, courage, courtesy, hard work and respect. I can hardly wait.

Related blog posts, articles and resources:

Teaching Children About Politics, by Steph Hicks at HubPages

Kids and Politics, by Robin's Blue Skies

Kids Love Campaign 2008, by MSNBC

Kids and Politics, in the First-In-the-Nation Primary, by UncharterdParent

Parents are Party-Training Kids, by CNN

Kids and Politics, by Simple Chaos

Shannon Lowe is a Mommy/Family contributing editor at BlogHer, and she also writes at Rocks In My Dryer.

We didn't have a playgroup or a school PTA anymore. Our kids were old and independent and didn't really want to hang out with us much anymore. We needed a spot where we could talk about all the things that make parenting teens so challenging and rewarding. We needed a place to let our hair down and talk about dirty socks and smelly boys and kids that are eating us out of house and home. We needed a place where other moms were going through the college admissions process, and then saying "goodbye" to their precious children as they moved on in their lives.

These women, with their wide-ranging experiences, aim to "tell it like it is," where the teen years are concerned.  Contributors include Jenny, who writes about the destructive force of teenagers:

But the thing is, once kids get old enough to be utterly self-sufficient while not concerned necessarily with being responsible, they're capable of such indirect destruction, they can be compared to a plague of locusts. Or at least a swarm.

Nina writes about helping teens navigate a divorce:

[My son] was very conflicted about meeting his Dad's first serious girlfriend since the divorce. He told me he didn't want to go, had too much homework, play rehearsal, yadda yadda yadda.  I could tell it was feeling like a "loyalty thing" and that he didn't want to upset me. So I consciously, carefully took the high road, sat him down and together we did some prep before the dinner.

There are plenty of other moms blogging the teen years with humor and grace.  Janice at Twist and Skewer tell us that

Of course I am not serious about locking your teens in the attic! I personally find the dungeon much more effective!

Sue Blaney is a mom of two college students, and she shares her wisdom at Please Stop the Rollercoaster!

Dads are in the game as well.  Renaissance Guy writes at Significant Pursuits:

As adults we often have bad days, and we want people to be patient and tolerant of us on those days. Teenagers have a bad day pretty much every day, and so we need to just let them vent a little bit and take a bit of their grouchiness and sullenness with grace.

I personally am taking great comfort in knowing this dialogue exists out there on the world wide web. My oldest son's teen years are just one tiny bend in the road away, and I've had more than a few panicky moments wondering what lies ahead. These bloggers give me hope that we can come out of those years with all our limbs attached, and a few good blog posts of our own, to boot.

Shannon Lowe is a BlogHer Contributing Editor (Mommy/Family). She also writes at Rocks In My Dryer.

The lyrics are exactly what I'd like my young impressionable children listening to. I hear my dd's singing along to the lyrics you see below, and I can only hope that they memorize them, and follow the advice of Hannah/Miley.

And, let's face it- it's certainly better than what I was raised on "Hey Mickey", and "Like A Virgin", etc. My mother must have been cringing with each line of "Like a virgin....Touched for the very first time". Funny how your perspective shifts when YOU'RE the parent.

As positive as the message may be, I'll admit to participating in the whole thing with an odd mix of hopefulness and skepticism.

Is it really possible for a young teenage girl to be in the middle of the Los Angeles celebrity culture and come out unscathed and emotionally healthy? Supposely her parents are very strict and keep her grounded. Julie at Disney Society reports:

I’ve always heard both Miley and her dad Billy Ray say that her mom is the strict one. Her dad likes to play the friend roll and he lets Miley’s mom be the one to make her do her homework and clean up after herself. It sounds like her mom is pretty strict when it comes to who Miley surrounds herself with.

“You want to keep your closed circle of friends,” Miley says. “And sometimes my mom is saying, ‘I have a bad vibe about this person. She needs to hang out with you when I’m around just to keep you safe.’”

MSNBC reports that

Billy Ray revealed to [Access Hollywood] his unique way of tackling Miley’s paparazzi frenzy.

“I’ll go knock on the window and say, ‘I just wanted to see your face because you are taking pictures of my little girl, you know, just in case.’”

“If I have to hunt you down and kill you, then I know what you look like,” Miley added, finishing her dad’s sentence.

Part of me is thankful Miley is out there, thankful my kids are seeing that it's possible to be cool and fun and still clean. But the other part of me wants Miley's parents to yank her out of Hollywood so fast that nobody sees where they're going. I'm skeptical that no matter how grounded her family is, the fame environment is simply too toxic for any teenager.

I watched Barbara Walter's recent interview with Miley, and heard the report that Miley has her own wing of the house (although in fairness, her mom does lock the door and not tell her where the key is). I watched her interview with Oprah a few months ago, loving the ease with which she and her dad laugh together, but cringing a little when Billy Ray Cyrus called himself "her best friend".

Don't be her best friend, Billy Ray.  Be her dad.  Duct tape her to a chair, if that's what it takes, to keep her from going out and partying.  Watch her like a hawk with those boys.  Keep her close.   

Hot Momma Gossip reports that Miley's mom, Tish, recently had coffee with (oh, heavens) Lynne Spears, of Britney and Jamie Lynn fame.

And the reason for their discussion? “The Spears and Cyrus families have become good friends,” adds the source, “and I wouldn’t be surprised if they arranged the chat so that Lynne could share with Tish the lessons she learned as she’s tried to deal with care for Britney and Jamie Lynn.”

I want this girl to succeed.  I want her to grow up with a healthy view of herself and her world, and I hope she has honest relationships and a stable home of her own someday. Keep it up, Miley--the moms are out here pulling for you.  And more importantly, the kids are out here watching you.

Shannon Lowe is a Mommy/Family Contributing Editor at BlogHer.  She also writes at Rocks In My Dryer, and she's been known to listen to Hannah Montana music when her children aren't in the car. Shhh, don't tell.