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  <title>Mata H's blog</title>
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  <updated>2008-05-09T22:59:12-05:00</updated>
  <entry>
    <title>Happy Independence Day and Interdependence Day</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/happy-independence-day-and-interdependence-day" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/happy-independence-day-and-interdependence-day</id>
    <published>2008-07-04T20:25:04-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-07-05T11:40:15-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="indepence day" />
    <category term="interdependence" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>When I was a little girl, my Dad would walk with my friend Sandy and me to the local fireworks display, where we would listen to the volunteer town band play patriotic songs. The night was all about fireworks, popcorn, watching the pre-teen boys watching us, and the fun walk home in the dark with a flashlight for light surrounded by fireflies and the sweet hum of a New England sultry summer night.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>When I was a little girl, my Dad would walk with my friend Sandy and me to the local fireworks display, where we would listen to the volunteer town band play patriotic songs. The night was all about fireworks, popcorn, watching the pre-teen boys watching us, and the fun walk home in the dark with a flashlight for light surrounded by fireflies and the sweet hum of a New England sultry summer night.</p>
<p>We didn't give much thought to who was truly free and who was not. Today I cannot celebrate my freedom without taking time to acknowledge and pray for those who do not share that freedom. Thanks to the rise of technology, we are able to be more aware of the disparities now than in the 60's when I was blithely walking up the path to the fireworks display surrounded by ignorance.</p>
<p>Today's world is a world of <i>interdependence</i>, perhaps more than ever before.  We all now have physical manifestations of the interdependence of all parts of the world. There is no unique American Ozone Layer, no economy in isolation. Signs of one culture show up across borders as people become more mobile, and as the media becomes more ubiquitous.</p>
<p>Just as the ozone layer and global warming affect everyone, the suffering of people around the world should affect all of us, should impact our thoughts, affect our decision-making, enter deeply into our consciousness.</p>
<p>John Donne had a sense of it in 1624 when he wrote (sic):</p>
<blockquote><p>
<i>"All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated...As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all......No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee..."</i>
</p></blockquote>
<p>In today's world the idea of independence should combine with the spiritual reality of <i>interdependence</i>. Just as so many were not free here when the original Independence Day was established, there are still those here who thirst for justice and long to be treated as full Americans. One does not even have to look beyond our borders to see the injustice of unequal access because of race, religion, national origin, sexual preference or identity, gender, income/class.</p>
<p>Our spirits have not always kept pace with our sincerely treasured ideals.</p>
<p>I love America, and treasure my freedoms here. I'm thankful for the Declaration of Independence which calls us to make good on all we believe, by ensuring the rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. (We may be the only nation in the world that actually includes happiness in its founding documents. I wonder.) The greatness of that document calls us forward.</p>
<p>My grandparents were all immigrants, people who came here in search of the freedom that we celebrate today --  in search of the spirit of generosity and welcome that they were told was America. They joined waves of immigrants who came here because America had declared herself a tyranny free zone, a place where protection from discrimination was a fundamental principle.</p>
<p>My prayer today is that we come ever closer to the heart-held images we have of America at her best, and that we grow ever more conscious of our interdependence in the world.</p>
<p>RELATED BLOGS</p>
<p><a href="http://conflictzen.com/4th-of-july-declaration-of-interdependence/">Tammy</a> has a GREAT video called "Declaration of Interdependence"!</p>
<p><a href="http://canwealljustagree.blogspot.com/2008/07/happy-interdependence-day.html/">Sarah</a> declares today Interdependence Day and says</p>
<blockquote><p>
this kind of endeavor looks different for everyone, but for me it means doing my best to be open and generous, and to find creative ways to both give gracefully and receive graciously, and in doing so, work to create community and communities that are conducive to justice and met needs, and that take the power out of the hands of corporations and put it in the hands of all people.
</p></blockquote>
<p><a href="http://www.anchormast.com/2008/07/03/interdependence-day/">Tess</a> suggest a Global Interdependence Day:</p>
<blockquote><p>
But have we humans gone too far with our need for independence? Do we maintain our separateness so fiercely that we can no longer connect in a deep way? Do we not realise that what someone does on one side of the world affects others thousands of miles away? And that each decision on what to do, what to buy, what to eat has a small or large ripple effect around the world? We are all interdependent on each other, like it or not.
</p></blockquote>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>&quot;Bucket Lists&quot;  and deferred joy</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/bucket-lists-and-deferred-joy" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/bucket-lists-and-deferred-joy</id>
    <published>2008-07-01T20:13:38-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-07-01T20:13:38-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I recently saw the film <a href="http://thebucketlist.warnerbros.com/"> "Bucket List" </a>-- in which two men with terminal illnesses decide that they will embark on a quest to fulfill as many items as they can from their "Before I die I want to..." lists. The film is worth watching.  Morgan Freeman's character really got my attention when he said that the ancient Egyptians believed we are asked two questions before entering the afterlife -- “Have you found joy in your life?” and “Has your life brought joy to others?”</p>
<p>I wondered what I would say.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I recently saw the film <a href="http://thebucketlist.warnerbros.com/"> "Bucket List" </a>-- in which two men with terminal illnesses decide that they will embark on a quest to fulfill as many items as they can from their "Before I die I want to..." lists. The film is worth watching.  Morgan Freeman's character really got my attention when he said that the ancient Egyptians believed we are asked two questions before entering the afterlife -- “Have you found joy in your life?” and “Has your life brought joy to others?”</p>
<p>I wondered what I would say. </p>
<p>Do I have an unspoken "to do" list -- things I want to accomplish in whatever vast or small amount of time before I pass from this life? Do you? Is there, lurking in my mind, some joy-filled goal list  -- do I want there to be?</p>
<p>I discovered that I did have a list informally filed away in my below-conscious thoughts. I hadn't been aware of it, hiding there, accumulating items, but there it was, unfolding my own secrets to me as though they had been rolled up in ancient parchment and buried away for years.</p>
<p>Here are some samples of the items:</p>
<p>1. Actually finish writing a book, and submit it via an agent for publication.</p>
<p>2. Win the "weight loss war".</p>
<p>3. Grow an entirely organic vegetable garden, and can or freeze the proceeds. (I lived in apartments until this year when I bought a house.)</p>
<p>4. Be of significant and focused help to a single charitable cause, even if I don't have a lot of money to offer.</p>
<p>5. Take a pottery course.</p>
<p>6. Learn to do intricate mosaic.</p>
<p>7. Go back to Australia for a long visit.</p>
<p>8. Forgive anyone I have yet to forgive.</p>
<p>These are items that without some extra effort will not happen in the course of my average days. They all hit the "I- want-to-get-to-this-eventually list" -- many landed there long ago. I looked at it and realized that there are really no outrageous obstacles that would prevent me from getting an item onto a "fulfilled" list. I also realized that part of me carried these and the other items on my list of undone items as burdens, longings, and in some cases deep yearnings.</p>
<p>They all have an "I can do this later" sense of disposability -- as though they were options as opposed to important goals. What's up with that? None would harm anyone. Each would bring me joy. What about that is disposable and why?</p>
<p>Do you have such a list? What reasonable joys are you deferring, and for how long?</p>
<p>We all defer joys, defer accomplishments. Sometimes it makes huge sense to slide something over to the wait-for-it column, but I suspect most of you have a list thatworks like mine -- it is full of possible things, things that can be done with attention and time.</p>
<p>Why are we waiting?  I looked at the list and realized that I have been wanting to take a pottery class for over 30 years. That is just plain silly. I have the time. There must be classes nearby. This one seems easy to do -- so I'll pluck that off the list this next week and find a place to take lessons.</p>
<p>Some items will have to be squeezed in. That's OK -- I have room to squeeze if I am honest with myself.</p>
<p>Some items require a disciplined commitment. I can do that.</p>
<p>How would it benefit all of us to have "rounder lives"? Lives that had more reasonable joys in them? Are there undone items on your list that would bring you or others increased joy? What is stopping you from clipping away at your list?</p>
<p><i>Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.</i></p>
<p>RELATED BLOGS</p>
<p>Julie at <a href="http://julieunscripted.wordpress.com/2008/06/26/the-big-dream/">Julie Unscripted</a> tackles the issue of helping others lose weight as she has -- and not deferring the actions needed.</p>
<p><a href="http://tecfamily7.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html#5239670693655789109">Natalie</a> starts her list here.</p>
<p><a href="http://comicalcouponcents.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-bucket-list.html">Tasha</a> posts her list, and adds  a list of qualities for which she would like to be remembered.</p>
<p>You can read <a href="http://artonalimb.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-bucket-list.html">Lynda's list here.</a></p>
<p><a href="http://thisbrazenteacher.blogspot.com/2008/06/my-bucket-list.html">This Brazen Teacher</a> posts her from-the-heart list here.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Surprises result from Dobson&#039;s evangelical attack on Obama</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/surprises-result-dobsons-evangelical-attack-obama" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/surprises-result-dobsons-evangelical-attack-obama</id>
    <published>2008-06-27T21:34:06-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-06-27T21:55:44-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Politics &amp; News" />
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="dobson" />
    <category term="evangelicals" />
    <category term="Obama" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>This has been an interesting news week for discussions of politics and religion.</p>
<p>First we have James Dobson, evangelical leader, criticizing Barack Obama's view of scripture because he is not a literalist. Dobson is the host of the popular conservative, evangelical radio program <a href="http://www.focusonthefamily.com/">"Focus on the Family"</a>. His scathing denunciations of liberals are legendary.</p>
<p>But this time, as my aunt used to say -- "the one finger that pointed out was on a hand with four pointed back at the sender." Translation: <i>backfire</i>.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>This has been an interesting news week for discussions of politics and religion.</p>
<p>First we have James Dobson, evangelical leader, criticizing Barack Obama's view of scripture because he is not a literalist. Dobson is the host of the popular conservative, evangelical radio program <a href="http://www.focusonthefamily.com/">"Focus on the Family"</a>. His scathing denunciations of liberals are legendary.</p>
<p>But this time, as my aunt used to say -- "the one finger that pointed out was on a hand with four pointed back at the sender." Translation: <i>backfire</i>.</p>
<p>First,within a day, a site launched called <a href="http://jamesdobsondoesntspeakforme.com/">James Dobson Doesn't Speak For Me</a>. And who launched it? Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell. Does that name ring a bell? It should. Rev Caldwell introduced President Bush at the 2000 Republican convention, and officiated at the wedding recently of Jenna Bush. </p>
<p>The site includes a side by side comparison of Dobson's critiques and what Obama actually said. For Example:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Dobson: “What [Obama is] trying to say here is unless everybody agrees, we have no right to fight for what we believe” (Focus on the Family Broadcast, 6/24).</p>
<p>Obama: "Indeed, the majority of great reformers in American history were not only motivated by faith, but repeatedly used religious language to argue for their cause. So to say that men and women should not inject their "personal morality" into public policy debates is a practical absurdity. Our law is by definition a codification of morality, much of it grounded in the Judeo-Christian tradition" (A Call to Renewal).
</p></blockquote>
<p>Further in the news of electioneering and religion, the Obama campaign has recently hired a new religious Affairs advisor, <a href="http://www.wesleyseminary.edu/about/ID.65/directory_detail.asp">Shaun Casey</a>Wesley Theological Seminary</p> in Washington , D.C.
<p>As we just learned from the <a href="http://religions.pewforum.org/">Pew Study</a> released this week, younger evangelicals are more tolerant and more liberal than their older counterparts, although still more conservative than the national averages. </p>
<p>This month, Obama has also announced an upcoming project called "The Joshua Generation Project", an effort to reach out to that group of younger evangelicals and younger Catholics around issues held in common - environmental concerns, poverty, HIV/AIDS, Darfur, climate change, healthcare and the war. (Of course that is if they get to keep the name -- because they are being sued over it. <a href="http://www.cbn.com/CBNnews/389328.aspx">CBNNews says </a>"..."Generation Joshua," a division of the Home School Legal Defense Association, has been established since 2003 and is pursuing legal action against the Obama campaign.")</p>
<p>The past, when candidates would just cringe, pose outside a church or get vague when assaulted by the religious right, seems to be over. We are seeing a new kind of candidate, and a weakening in the once united voice of the evangelical right. </p>
<p>RELATED BLOGS:</p>
<p>Self-described Muslim-by-choice <a href="http://writeoussisterspeaks.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/obama-vs-dobson-come-to-fight-night/">Aaminah Hernandez</a> voices her negative reaction to Dobson, even though she may not vote in the upcoming election.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.vanessabyers.net/2008/06/dobson-attack-s.html">Vanessa Unplugged</a> points out that over 10,000 supportive signitures have been put on to the Rev Caldwell's site.</p>
<p><a href="http://acomplicatedsalvationreborn.wordpress.com/2008/06/26/dobson-on-obama/">Zoe, a former fan of Dobson</a> laments her past choices and is saddened by the religious right's response.</p>
<p>Esri Rose, a conservative who has yet to decide for whom to vote, in the post <a href="http://www.somethingepic.com/why-im-not-a-right-wing-nutjob/">Why I am Not  A Right Wing Nut Job"</a> speaks of the Dobson email lashing out at Obama and walks readers through her reaction. This is a fascinating account from someone who is as yet undecided about the vote.</p>
<p>Mata H, CE for Religion and Spirituality also blogs about this and that on her blog, <a href="http://timesfool.blogspot.com">Time's Fool</a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Pew Study has surprises about US religious life</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/pew-study-has-surprises-about-us-religious-life" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/pew-study-has-surprises-about-us-religious-life</id>
    <published>2008-06-24T21:07:06-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-06-24T21:09:24-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="evangelicals" />
    <category term="pew survey" />
    <category term="us religious landscape" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://religions.pewforum.org/">The Pew Forum on Religious and Pubic Life </a>has released Part II of the US Religious Landscape Survey. There are some surprising results. The majority of Americans affiliated with a religion do not believe that their religion is the only path to salvation. Generally, Americans believe that there are even multiple ways to look at their own religion. The over 35,000 persons surveyed showed a surprising openness to differing beliefs and faith practices.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://religions.pewforum.org/">The Pew Forum on Religious and Pubic Life </a>has released Part II of the US Religious Landscape Survey. There are some surprising results. The majority of Americans affiliated with a religion do not believe that their religion is the only path to salvation. Generally, Americans believe that there are even multiple ways to look at their own religion. The over 35,000 persons surveyed showed a surprising openness to differing beliefs and faith practices.</p>
<p>Over half of Americans surveyed say that they attend church and pray regularly.  There is a great diversity within that group, however. The survey states:</p>
<blockquote><p>
For example, while more than nine-in-ten Americans (92%) believe in the existence of God or a universal spirit, there is considerable variation in the nature and certainty of this belief. Six-in-ten adults believe that God is a person with whom people can have a relationship; but one-in-four – including about half of Jews and Hindus – see God as an impersonal force. And while roughly seven-in-ten Americans say they are absolutely certain of God’s existence, more than one-in-five (22%) are less certain in their belief.</p>
<p>A similar pattern is evident in views of the Bible. Nearly two-thirds of the public (63%) takes the view that their faith’s sacred texts are the word of God. But those who believe Scripture represents the word of God are roughly evenly divided between those who say it should be interpreted literally, word for word (33%), and those who say it should not be taken literally (27%). And more than a quarter of adults – including two-thirds of Buddhists (67%) and about half of Jews (53%) – say their faith’s sacred texts are written by men and are not the word of God.</p></blockquote>
<p>In this election year, the Chapter on <a href="http://religions.pewforum.org/reports#">Social and Political Views</a> is worth reading. While few Americans say that religion is a major factor in influencing their political views, the reality of correlations may be very different. Issues such as abortion and GLBT rights tend to fall predictably on conservative evangelicals saying NO (except the younger evangelicals are more open, though less open than the general population) and religious liberals saying YES. But other issues, such as the environment or issues concerning world politics vary widely within religious groups. Once lockstep, the environment is becoming more complex.</p>
<p>Here is a surprise: 72% of under-30 Catholics express a tolerant view of homosexuality, compared with around 60 percent of the general population -- yet they and younger evangelicals are more opposed than their older counterparts and the general population to abortion.</p>
<p>Further, a past report indicated that Democrats were not viewed as religion-friendly. That has surely been part of what has spiked religious visibility with this year's crop of runners on both sides of the political fence. Yet the Republicans chose a candidate whose religious leanings were less clear than those running against him.</p>
<p>It is getting harder and harder to pinpoint political position based on religion, but people having a position are quite likely to say it is because of their religion. If I were managing someone's campaign I'd be scratching my head and rolling my eyes.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.catholic.org/international/international_story.php?id=28368&amp;wf=rsscol">Catholic bishops in the US </a>have already issued a statement -- affirming the thirst among the laity for dogma and structure. This is echoed by <a href="http://happycatholic.blogspot.com/2008/06/drive-by-blogging.html">Happy Catholic</a> on her blog.</p>
<p><a href="http://kimberlywinston.wordpress.com/2008/06/23/us-religious-landscape-study/">Kimberly Winston</a> has some interesting commentary. In addition to wondering if the %ages reported who pray at least weekly (75%) are accurate, she says:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>The study was full of other interesting facts, if you are a religion geek like me. Here’s my favorite tidbit - 21 percent of of people who identify themselves as atheists say they believe in God.</p></blockquote>
<p><a href="http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/06/24/study-finds-growing-religious-pluralism/">Kristin Chapman</a> points to the polar ends of commentary about the findings in the report about religious pluralism and tolerance, showing how some people think this is hopeful and others think it is a sign of a growing shallowness.</p>
<p>In any case, the report is worth a view. It certainly gives a fine overview to what we are seeing being acted out on the political stages today.</p>
<p>MataH, CE for Religion and Spirituality does pray every day, and blogs not as often at <a href="http://timesfool.blofgspot.com">Time's Fool</a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>War, Race and Robert Bly</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/war-race-and-robert-bly" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/war-race-and-robert-bly</id>
    <published>2008-06-22T11:22:56-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-06-22T11:58:29-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Politics &amp; News" />
    <category term="Race, Ethnicity &amp; Culture" />
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="racism" />
    <category term="robert bly" />
    <category term="war and race" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>While going through the contents of my car's trunk, I turned up an unmarked cassette tape. It was a partial recording of a reading by the poet and anti-war activist, <a href="http://www.robertbly.com">Robert Bly</a>, made sometime during the Vietnam war. Bly, ever the commentator, made the point that America was the only western nation that had become a nation by stealing their land. He added, "If you have ever been poor enough to steal a coat, you know something. You know that you may wear that coat, but you'll never love it."</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>While going through the contents of my car's trunk, I turned up an unmarked cassette tape. It was a partial recording of a reading by the poet and anti-war activist, <a href="http://www.robertbly.com">Robert Bly</a>, made sometime during the Vietnam war. Bly, ever the commentator, made the point that America was the only western nation that had become a nation by stealing their land. He added, "If you have ever been poor enough to steal a coat, you know something. You know that you may wear that coat, but you'll never love it." </p>
<p>He spoke about how settlers could steal from American Indians because the native people were so different from Europeans -- different hair, different skin, different gods, different tribes, different traditions. He then said that the church regarded wrong doing as something that made people want to atone, but that Freud (more correctly in his view) said that people were more likely to replicate the act over and over until they had resolved whatever damage underpinned it.</p>
<p>And then I started getting chills as his voice, from our nation's past, predicted that since we were not looking at the racist elements in the war in Vietnam, that in another 15 years or so we'd be at it again. </p>
<p>He talked about how we could never treat a German the way we treated the Vietnamese -- we could never torture them, or the French -- they were too much like us. He spoke of a soldier who had brought a Japanese skull home from WWII and had it on his coffee table. And he said, we'd never bring a European soldier's skull home -- they were too much like us. We couldn't use napalm in France, it would be like burning an aunt and uncle.</p>
<p>You get the point. While it may be wildly oversimplified, there is  a deep echo of truth. Would we have opened a Guantanamo-like setting in which we would imprison Portuguese for years with no trial? British? Spanish? Would we have imprisoned and taken slaves from Austria instead of Africa? Would we have created an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abu_Ghraib_prison">Abu Ghraib </a> in Canada?</p>
<p>We are obviously a nation where racism is a huge problem. What if it is true that we carry a deep spiritual national wound, a scab that we keep agitating so that it does not heal? Bly casts its origins and the depth of its ramifications in an original way. It is even more terrifying when you consider it as (at least in part) a lockstep, unconscious drive to war with "the different" during a nuclear age.</p>
<p>I do not know what to do about that. I do believe that we should be talking more across differences, and I will be doing some posts about that. I think we should be praying more across differences and I invite you to join my prayers.</p>
<p>There is obviously a way we see others, others who are different in big cultural ways as <i>less</i>. </p>
<p>What ways have you seen that bring health to this situation? What can America do to decrease the widening gaps between any two racially different groups? This is not just a political issue. It is a spiritual issue, an issue of the soul's deepest places, and it has created some deep soul wounds that linger, and for which we and others pay a horrific price.</p>
<p>Related Blogs</p>
<p>---------------------</p>
<p>In <a href="http://goddessofstrife.blogspot.com/2008/06/healing-race.html">Comedy of Eris</a> she discusses her own struggle</p>
<blockquote>
<p>racism hurts.</p>
<p>i was reading "I Can Fix It!" by damali ayo tonight. realizing how often i have let racist comments that friends or coworkers have made slide for my own "safety." because i didn't want to deal with the consequences of being subversive. how i have held keeping myself out of my imagined danger as more important than creating a truly safe space for my friends and coworkers of color.</p>
<p>i regret that.</p></blockquote>
<p><a href="http://omyamerica.wordpress.com/2008/03/25/the-hard-work-of-getting-along/">O My America</a> speaks about a bookstore that is holding some race-related discussion groups.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I’ve gotten the sense in the last ten years or so that people are tired of political correctness. They’re tired of “getting along.” We changed the laws, and through busing and affirmative action we would also change society; and then, naturally, we’d all get along. But it turns out all this getting along is very hard work. It’s not a carpet we can simply lay out and walk down. So it’s okay that we’re tired; it’s understandable. So long as we keep going. Even if for now we feel like we’re only just “getting along.”</p></blockquote>
<p>&gt;<br />
&gt; <a href="http://annmariekneebone.blogspot.com/2008/06/feeling-before-healing.html">Anne Marie Kneebone</a> suggests feeling before healing.</p>
<blockquote>
<p> I am not suggesting a life of wallowing in pain, but if we don’t first deal with the reality of the moment we will not end up whole in the future. I think that’s true regarding the way our country deals with racism, classism, and heterosexism, the way our families and our faith community deal with conflict, and the way we deal with our own personal disappointments.</p>
<p>Grab a hold of Wisdom this week. She may not look like what you think she will, but when you find her, take hold with both hands. Then look at everything, feel everything, try everything. What happens? Okay, so maybe you can’t do all that in one week… but you can start. Mindfully move through your week and let yourself look, feel, and try. Don’t fix anything – just observe and feel. Remember that it doesn’t end here; it’s where we begin.</p></blockquote>
<p>Religion and Spirituality contributing editor, Mata H , also blogs at <a href="http://timesfool.blogpot.com">Time's Fool</a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>&quot;Religious&quot; spam. A rant.</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/religious-spam-rant" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/religious-spam-rant</id>
    <published>2008-06-18T13:49:17-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-06-18T13:49:17-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="religious emails" />
    <category term="religious spam" />
    <category term="spam" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I have ranted about it before. Unsolicited "religious" emails. My dander is up again, and I am ready to rock and boil. </p>
<p>Let me say this as clearly as I can. Jesus does not care whether or not I forward an email with a picture of him looking like a weeping Western European to 10 of my closest friends.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I have ranted about it before. Unsolicited "religious" emails. My dander is up again, and I am ready to rock and boil. </p>
<p>Let me say this as clearly as I can. Jesus does not care whether or not I forward an email with a picture of him looking like a weeping Western European to 10 of my closest friends.</p>
<p>Nothing bad will happen if I do not send everyone of you a prayer reported to be by Mother Teresa and/or the Dalai Lama and/or Walt Disney. Even if they wrote it, they probably would cringe to see it sent as a spam-a-lot message that had an after-burn with it --"send this or......(something bad will happen)".  The very thought that such a thing was done in her name -- well, if you put your ear to the earth around her grave, you can probably hear the sound of spinning.</p>
<p>G-d loves us all already.</p>
<p>G-d is not going to love us any more or any less because we send out a flipping email telling us all what sinning bits of flotsam and jetsam we all are.</p>
<p>Pssst ...just a thought...G-d probably is a bit busy doing other things than to act as an email hall monitor. He/She is probably not inclined to be counting the number of times we send out the latest piece of spam-drivel about Jesus. I'm just thinking there might be some other things occupying the Deity's time.</p>
<p>I do not have more power than G-d, or the Ultimate Divine. No amount of email going to force God to grant a wish, and no lack of email is going to cause me to break out in open running sores. There is no divine formula for Xemail=Ymiracle.</p>
<p>I will not be blessed for sending an email to anyone that goes on and on about how we are a rich and privileged nation because we are Christian. First, we are not, nor should we be called a "Christian nation". Second, as I recall Jesus didn't exactly hang tight with the super-rich, so I'd be real careful about that analogy.</p>
<p>I am tired of people thinking that just because I believe in and love G-d, that I am some cro-magnon, knuckle dragging automaton who actually thinks that I can push G-d around by whether or not I send on spam.</p>
<p>Sadder still for other folks, I am not someone who believe I have to cajole G-d into loving me by sending endless emails to try to catch his/her attention. I believe God already loves me. End of sentence. That is called "grace". God loves me -- whether I deserve it or not, whether I perform glittering stunts to attract his eye, whether or not I screw up, whether or not I send emails threatening people with the loss of his love.</p>
<p>Folks would do well to let go of x=y fear-factor faith.</p>
<p>Even the non-religious themed spam-forward-please emails get my goat for a similar reason. My destiny is not going to be determined by whether or not I forward an email about friendship, or kittens, or some Colonel whose son was killed after he failed to send an email on (I really did receive that one).</p>
<p>If you believe you have to do stuff to convince G-d to love you, which is not my theological position btw, well, go do something good for someone else. Spam isn't cutting it.</p>
<p>And then the next time you get an email with an implied threat about what might happen if your don't send it -- ask -- "With whom do I entrust the determination of my future?" Do you trust yourself and your relationship with G-d, or the divine, or the universe...or do you trust someone sending out anonymous email?</p>
<p>Don't be afraid to hit "delete". Think of it as an act of faith. </p>
<p>RELATED BLOGS<br />
----------------------------</p>
<p><a>Huff and Rant</a> describes an experience with religious spam and how she actually responded to it.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/social-relationships/5763-how-do-you-handle-religious-spam-friends-relatives.html">Char</a>  asks the question "How do you handle religious spam from friends/relatives?"</p>
<p>In a post showing that Islam has its share of spammers as well, <a>Zura </a> explains why it upsets her as well.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>What does it mean to forgive your father?</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/what-does-it-mean-forgive-your-father" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/what-does-it-mean-forgive-your-father</id>
    <published>2008-06-14T14:32:41-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-06-14T16:25:13-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="father&#039;s day" />
    <category term="fogiving father" />
    <category term="forgiveness" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Whether the wound is small or large, we all have father-wounds. Parenting leaves some scuff marks, even with the best of parents.</p>
<p>Forgive him. Give him and yourself the finest Father's Day gift and forgive him.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Whether the wound is small or large, we all have father-wounds. Parenting leaves some scuff marks, even with the best of parents.</p>
<p>Forgive him. Give him and yourself the finest Father's Day gift and forgive him. </p>
<p>First, let's say clearly what forgiveness is NOT. Forgiveness is not saying that what was hurtful is OK, and it does NOT result in putting oneself in harm's way over and over again.  Practicing forgiveness, however,  is an opportunity that fundamentally changes the terms with which we encounter the world. It is rigorous and freeing. It is like letting a wound be exposed to the clean air so that it can heal.</p>
<p>Not all of us had fathers where there is an unblemished history of parenting. The key thing is -- what is it that we do with those wounds, especially if they are big?</p>
<p>We have a few choices -- we can live in and out of them, seeing the wound over and over, communicating from The Land of the Wound, looking for others to fill the gaps left by the wound, telling the world about it, letting the wound color our days as sad or angry or chronically disappointed with men. Or we can squash down the pain and try to cork it up with food or sex or alcohol or drugs or jogging or work. The problem is that when we are not doing those things, the old wound reasserts itself, and we are off and running.</p>
<p>I had a few years where I should have carried a sign : "Look at me. I am a mobile Father-wound." Not good years.</p>
<p>Developing and honing the spiritual muscles of forgiveness, I am convinced, has to be a conscious task, a true discipline. Our world reinforces <i>not </i>forgiving at such a level of intensity that we must deliberately focus on forgiveness. </p>
<p>Groups proclaim loudly and arrogantly that<i>there are no victims, only volunteers</i>. Equally damaging are those who wear their wound like a medal of pride, using it to distinguish themselves as in some way special. I contend that the truth is between -- that hurtful things have been done, ut that we do not haveto let those hurtful things determine our life or our relationships.</p>
<p>Every time that I mention Fathers who are not ideal on my blog or here, women tumble out lots of pain, and lots of hope. So I hope you will indulge me mentioning fathers and forgiveness once again.</p>
<p>First, if you feel comfortable or hopeful about talking through old issues with your father, please do it. Some moments can really be redemptive, and worth the risk. I'll pray for your success.</p>
<p>Here is a story about my Dad, taken from an old blog entry of mine:</p>
<p>My own father could be nasty and brutish, with a temper that was primitive and terrifying. When I was a little girl, I remember a night he and my Mom were arguing. I was upstairs in my room, but I could hear them downstairs. There was a lot of yelling. Then my father was clumping loudly up the stairs; and then there was a loud almost Olympic shot-putting shout from him, followed immediately by a thunderous noise. It sounded like lightening had hit just hit my room. </p>
<p>My father called my mother upstairs, and told me to get out of my room and into the hall. He showed us what he had done. He had driven his two fists into the hard plaster wall about 4-6 inches in, leaving two deep fist marks in the concave fist-blasted plaster.</p>
<p>He said "I want the two of you to see this." His voice got ominous. " Next time it could be you," and he walked away.</p>
<p>He never hit us, but he refused to let my Mom plaster over those holes for many years. I walked by that grim reminder of my father's lurking rage every time I went to my room for a long time.</p>
<p>A few years before he died, with him in his 80's and me in my 50's, I asked him if he remembered that day. He said, dismissively,  "Sure, but that was just rage. Everyone feels that." I calmly told him that actually everyone really does not feel that, and that in some homes it would be entirely foreign.</p>
<p>He looked at me as though I had dropped into his kitchen from Saturn. "Then they are lying to you," he said with utter certainty, and got up and went into the other room.</p>
<p>Conversation over.</p>
<p>Rage was what my father knew. Like Jake laMotta in the film, Raging Bull, to him the words "life" and "rage" were indistinguishable.</p>
<p>I decided to forgive my father for that time. That one isolated time. Two nights later, I wasn't done -- three nights, not done; four, not done. The event still held a charge for me. (It clearly still does, as I can recall it vividly and in great detail. )</p>
<p>I do find a way to se and forgive pieces of things - the knowledge that his rage <i>wasn't about us or anything we did</i> - the history in his own childhood of violence - the fact that he was not educated and had never been exposed to real gentleness before my mother - and I throw piece after piece of it at my memory, but with no full luck....until...<br />
It starts to dawn on me that he also did great violence to himself with his own temper.</p>
<p>Also, some less than pleasant things dawn on me - ways in which I am frightened to forgive -- afraid it would open me to more rage, more abuse -- even though my father is now dead there are ways I cling to his wrong-doings. There can be absolutely irrational protection around a wound. But here is the secret -- <u>the protection can irritate the wound so that it does not heal. </u>(Read that twice if you have to.)</p>
<p>Now I'm coming to understand that forgiveness is a journey, a way of being in the world -- not an event. It is not a magical eraser. It is a way of unfolding the past differently.</p>
<p>It is not about restoring things to some magical place where the reality of our lives did not happen.</p>
<p>It is partly about establishing a spiritual practice where I can let go of the parts of myself that are still living in the past.</p>
<p>It is also partly about finding the similarities between the part of myself that cannot release that memory, and the part<br />
of my father that could not let go of his rage. This is the tough stuff to face. This is the legacy of a wound.</p>
<p>Here is a section of an old email I sent to a friend:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Forgiveness (at least in part, the part I understand) is the putting down of a burden of bad feeling. It is a Great and Holy Unraveling. It is saying "I will no longer see the world through this piece of pain." It is, for me, a way to freedom.
</p></blockquote>
<p>RELATED BLOGS</p>
<p>Eyelet <a href="http://www.aish.com/spirituality/odysseys/Forgiving_My_Father.asp">has a great post </a> about forgiving her father:</p>
<blockquote><p>
My dad was sick. And though it would be egotistical of me to think I had the right to be angry in the first place, I forgave him. I let go of the past, and recognized that it was what it was, and there is no way I can change that now. All I can do is make a new start for myself in this moment, with a pure forgiveness, from the heart, for any old "hurts."</p>
<p>I knew I had made mistakes as well. Perhaps all these years would have been different, if I had seen the whole picture long ago. If I had accepted my father for who he was, and who he wasn't. If I was able to look past my selfishness and realize that in a family, it's not just the parents who provide for the children, it's a team effort. I apologized to my father, and he forgave me with pleasure.</p>
<p>And I realized that this might even be harder than forgiving him. I began the road to forgiving myself. Realizing that the only way to make up for all those lost years is to do what's right in this moment, and avail myself to the relationship I never let us have.
</p></blockquote>
<p>Rose writes about <a href="http://journals.aol.com/rjsisti/roses-are-read/entries/2008/06/12/forgiving/1579">forgiving</a>  and has this advice:</p>
<blockquote><p>
I realized that forgiveness begins with your decision to forgive, but because memories or another set of words or actions may trigger old feelings, I find I need to recommit to forgiveness over and over again.</p>
<p>Hoping that the other person will change their actions, behavior or words isn't the point of forgiveness.  In fact, the other person may never change or apologize. I learned that forgiveness is more about how it will change my life by bringing me more peace, happiness, and emotional healing.
</p></blockquote>
<p>Gail, in her blog,<a href="http://crossestobear.blogspot.com/2008/06/how-to-get-into-heaven-on-expired.html">Crosses to Bear</a> struggles with forgiving her father until she finds a way. Click on the above link to see her resolution.:</p>
<blockquote><p>
How do you forgive someone who has hurt you so badly? That was the question I grappled with on the day of my father's funeral. I would continue to ponder that question many times over the next few months, always coming back to the same thing...what, exactly, does it mean to forgive? By forgiving him, would I be throwing myself away and discounting all of the pain I had suffered at his hands? He had never suffered any penalties for the things he had done to me and I had received no justice for his deeds. Shouldn't there have been penalties? Shouldn't there have been justice? My emotions alternated between self-pity and justifiable anger. Yet, a little voice, way in the back of my head, kept whispering over and over and over, "Forgive him".
</p></blockquote>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Surrendering to the unpredictable</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/surrendering-unpredictable" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/surrendering-unpredictable</id>
    <published>2008-06-11T23:14:21-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-06-12T11:52:03-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="storms" />
    <category term="surrender" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>We had a huge storm in my little town last night. It was nothing compared to <a>Iowa</a>, but a lot for us. I had taken my twelve-pound bichon frise rescue pooch out for a quick end-of-the-day-walk in my back yard at around 9pm. At that point it was dark and steamy outside.</p>
<p> An odd unsettled feeling charged the humid air, as though the air itself was restless, itchy.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>We had a huge storm in my little town last night. It was nothing compared to <a>Iowa</a>, but a lot for us. I had taken my twelve-pound bichon frise rescue pooch out for a quick end-of-the-day-walk in my back yard at around 9pm. At that point it was dark and steamy outside.</p>
<p> An odd unsettled feeling charged the humid air, as though the air itself was restless, itchy. </p>
<p>In the space of five minutes the searing temperature leftover from the over 100 degree day dropped about 5 or 10 degrees. Out of nowhere a brisk wind picked up, and the 50 feet tall pine trees in my back yard started heaving back and forth in the gusts. Within moments I was yelling to Zoe to get inside. and she was scampering to safety as giant raindrops began to pelt down mercilessly. At that point the lights went out. And all hell broke loose. </p>
<p>Mixed hail and rain made big banging sounds against the aluminum roof over my patio and on the top of an in-window air conditioner. I fumbled for candles and matches, and looked out my living room window in time to see someone's lawn furniture roll down the street. In about 20 minutes the worst was over, the temperature had dropped, and a calmer rain prevailed. But all electricity in my house was out until and would remain out until around 7 or 8 this morning.</p>
<p>In the morning a 20 foot branch of someone else's tree lay in my back yard. It wasn't my tree, nor any of my neighbors.<br />
Some houses sustained large damage from falling trees, and electrical lines and  phone lines had been damaged in various parts of town. The streets were littered with branches and debris from trees. In some cases whole trees had been unearthed.</p>
<p>But in the time between the initial storm and the morning, I had a lot  of time to think.</p>
<p>My neighborhood was dark. Dark and silent. There was not even the hum of an air-conditioner. It struck me that silent darkness is rare. We are deluged with light and sound in America. </p>
<p>The quiet and dark was a relief, as my pooch and I snuggled together with the bedroom windows open. I had a chance to think and to pray at a deeper level, one unimpeded by having to screen out noise and events. I could not control the darkness, nor the silence on any profound level. Of course I could light a candle or sing but those things are very small. </p>
<p>The big control was not mine. </p>
<p>Just letting that thought inside was a moment of surrender.</p>
<p>I found myself surrendering to the unpredictable.  There was no sense in fretting about the electricity or the dark or the silence -- there as nothing I could do to change the situation. My mind buzzed at first with all kinds of questions..at least a dozen "What if's..." What if the freezer food thaws? What if my computer was fried? And on..and on...until I realized I could provide no reply except .."I'll deal with it if I have to."</p>
<p>Occasionally I get smacked down with a Big Insight. Last night's was :  If there is nothing I can do to control or effect the outcome -- there is no sense in driving myself bats worrying about it. Surrender, Mata. Surrender.</p>
<p>Surrender to the dark, the silence, the unpredictable nature of the future. Breathe in and out and let G-d and the Universe carry you through the dark nights. </p>
<p>RELATED BLOGS</p>
<p><a href="http://mytotalpv.blogspot.com/2008/06/update-on-storms.html">Mama Podkayne </a> is worried and praying for people affected by recent dramatic weather disasters.</p>
<p><a href="http://knittingzeal.typepad.com/knitting_zeal/2008/06/black-outs-and-thunder-storms.html">Diane at Knitting Zeal </a> shared some of the same worries that I did.</p>
<p><a href="http://lifesfunnylikethat.blogspot.com/2008/06/storms.html">In Life's Funny Like That</a> Debby watches the storm come in over mountains and watches it pss. She ends by saying:</p>
<blockquote><p>
I drove the truck back to the shop, happy in my soul. I'd witnessed a metaphor. Not much different than life, is it? The storms approach, overtake us, and then pass by. There's always a bright patch coming right behind them.<br />
I love life lessons.<br />
Especially when they are illustrated by a mighty hand.
</p></blockquote>
<p>Religion and Spirituality Contributing Editor, Mata H, can be found blogging at her home blog, <a href="http://www.timesfool/blogspot.com">Time's Fool</a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Incense and Sensibility</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/incense-and-sensibility" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/incense-and-sensibility</id>
    <published>2008-06-07T08:57:04-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-06-07T08:57:04-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="depression" />
    <category term="incense" />
    <category term="thurifer" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incense">Incense</a>  --- for some of us it conjures up memories of dorm rooms with towels wedged to the bottom of the door. (Insert innocent look.) For many others it recalls the scents during worship. Incense figures prominently in many world religions, and a fine description of its history can be found <a href="http://www.scentit.com/blog/wordpress/2008/05/27/history-and-uses-of-incense/">here</a>.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incense">Incense</a>  --- for some of us it conjures up memories of dorm rooms with towels wedged to the bottom of the door. (Insert innocent look.) For many others it recalls the scents during worship. Incense figures prominently in many world religions, and a fine description of its history can be found <a href="http://www.scentit.com/blog/wordpress/2008/05/27/history-and-uses-of-incense/">here</a>.</p>
<p>But incense apparently does even more than carry our prayers aloft. <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/05/080520110415.htm">A new study </a>points out the efficacy of frankincense for alleviating the symptoms of anxiety and depression. (The usual caveats apply - we are not doctors. Consult yours first. This is not medical advice.)</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Religious leaders have contended for millennia that burning incense is good for the soul. Now, biologists have learned that it is good for our brains too. An international team of scientists, including researchers from Johns Hopkins University and the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, describe how burning frankincense (resin from the Boswellia plant) activates poorly understood ion channels in the brain to alleviate anxiety or depression. This suggests that an entirely new class of depression and anxiety drugs might be right under our noses.<br />
.<br />
“In spite of information stemming from ancient texts, constituents of Bosweilla had not been investigated for psychoactivity,” said Raphael Mechoulam, one of the research study’s co-authors. “We found that incensole acetate, a Boswellia resin constituent, when tested in mice lowers anxiety and causes antidepressive-like behavior. Apparently, most present day worshipers assume that incense burning has only a symbolic meaning.”
</p></blockquote>
<p>To counter that news, <a href="http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=7,6571,0,0,1,0">The Buddhist Channel</a> reports that :</p>
<blockquote><p>
Incense burning produces over 4 times more particulate matter than cigarette smoke.<br />
According to the Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry, toluene can cause headaches, confusion, and memory loss. Xylenes can cause headaches, lack of muscle coordination, dizziness, confusion, and changes in one's sense of balance, irritation of the skin, eyes, nose, and throat; and difficulty in breathing.<br />
Inhaling incense smoke may cause respiratory dysfunction, allergies, allergic contact dermatitis, growths and tumors, and genetic mutations.<br />
As allergies and chemical sensitivities are on the rise, many yoga studios have looked for alternatives to incense and restrict the wearing of scent to class. Some safer alternatives include natural potpourri and fresh flowers.
</p></blockquote>
<p>There we go, thinking that incense was part of a mystical journey to another consciousness, and it turns out it was part of an aroma therapy treatment that can cause dangerous health risks.</p>
<p>Still, ritualist that I am, I love it when there is incense during worship -- despite the time that a friend of mine was carrying the thurible (that swinging incense pot) down the aisle of the church and managed to set his garment a'smolder when his swinging got too vigorous and shot a spark or two out onto his robe.</p>
<p>Or there was the time when an aggressive Lutheran thurifer (they get to do this so seldom) on Christmas Eve almost wiped out the entire soprano section of the choir who were positioned near the altar and found it hard to sing in a fog of smoke. "Joy to the world --cough--cough-- wheeze."</p>
<p>Still, I love the stuff, and have some at home not for any exalted reason, just because I love the scent. I tend to favor a peach/ginger incense from Pier I, and a $1 a tube variety from my local Indian food store.</p>
<p>What are your opinions? Have you ever used incense when you pray or meditate? Does it help? Hinder?</p>
<p>RELATED BLOGS</p>
<p>Minette at <a href="http://www.scentsignals.com/scentsignals/2008/05/memorial-day-an.html">ScentSignals</a> makes a case for use of incense on Memorial days.</p>
<p><a href="http://mysticnaturals.com/blog/2008/05/18/the-zen-of-incense/">Tania</a> describes the "Zen of Incense" and offers pointers for its use.</p>
<p><a href="http://mysticnaturals.com/blog/2008/05/18/the-zen-of-incense/">Susie of Arabia</a> provides a great picture of a huge sidewalk incense burner in Jeddah.</p>
<p><a href="http://2witchesblog.wordpress.com/2008/04/03/circle-incense-excerpt-from-a-1970s-book-of-shadows/">Lady Rose</a> offers a recipe or homemade incense.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Wide imaginings, big prayers and huge dreams </title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/wide-imaginings-big-prayers-and-huge-dreams" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/wide-imaginings-big-prayers-and-huge-dreams</id>
    <published>2008-05-31T15:35:37-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-05-31T15:52:20-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Life" />
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="creative visualization" />
    <category term="dreams" />
    <category term="getting rid of negative thoughts" />
    <category term="Hope" />
    <category term="imagination" />
    <category term="positive thinking" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I was tired of puny dreams.</p>
<p>I was tired of praying too small, dreaming too small, envisioning too teeny a life. I had painted my soul into a corner and she was needing to stretch her legs.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I was tired of puny dreams.</p>
<p>I was tired of praying too small, dreaming too small, envisioning too teeny a life. I had painted my soul into a corner and she was needing to stretch her legs. </p>
<p>Then I read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Creative-Visualization-Imagination-Create-Gawain/dp/1577312295/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1212245899&amp;sr=8-1">"Creative Visualization"</a> by Shakti Gawain, and it changed my life.  I still have a battered copy of that old paperback around. I have probably given a dozen copies away. What Gawain said made sense. If I couldn't imagine a better life, I probably wouldn't get one. This is not spiritual rocket science, right? Then try to live it. Want something fabulous in your life? At least imagine it. And then add "This or something even better for the greatest good of all concerned."</p>
<p>I am not saying that all our life's problems can be solved in this way, or that we can have anything we dream about at will.</p>
<p>I am saying that I have sabotaged some life choices with negative thought in the past, and that I am working to be more self-future-affirming now. I am starting a new small business and was a bit overwhelmed with details for a while. Then I started imaging myself doing the work and being very happy and successful. Suddenly the obstacles were easier to remove.</p>
<p>I encourage you to take some time today and find some negative or chaotic or self-defeating thinking to turn around. Sit with the negative thought for an instant and then imagine the outcome differently, more positively. Sit with the new image for a while and let yourself feel it. Then add,  "This or something even better for the greatest good of all concerned."</p>
<p>I wonder what would happen if we all imagined together, all of us who care, that there would be no more world hunger. I think if we all believed that it was a problem that also had a solution, that we would find the solution. Hopelessness is the enemy of action, of health, of community.</p>
<p>We get hopeless when we dream too small, pray too small, imagine too minuscule a future.</p>
<p>I have a friend who is very traditional faith-wise. yet she said to me, "Hon, I pray BIG. I pray bold prayers that rattle heaven's front AND back doors. I ask for wide things, not narrow. I don't just ask for a happy moment. I ask for the whole darned week. Maybe even my whole life. There is no sin in asking, and I never ask for anything that would hurt anyone." She took my hand in hers and said, "So listen when I tell you -- pray BIG!"</p>
<p>As women we were often raised to accommodate our dreams to the wishes and needs of others -- to see ourselves as background music. But that music can rise, and above the sound can be heard the tender swirl of a flute, or the booming arrival of a timpani drum. Today is the day to lift up our dreams, our hopes, our wild imaginings. Lift, lift, lift!</p>
<blockquote><p>
Some inspiring quotes from Shakti Gawain</p>
<p><i>What I am actually saying is that we need to be willing to let our intuition guide us, and then be willing to follow that guidance directly and fearlessly.</i><br />
--------------------</p>
<p><i>The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf.</i><br />
----------------------</p>
<p><i>We are very powerful, creative, insightful, spiritual beings, and we also are very human, and we're filled with all kinds of so-called imperfections and weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and that's what's beautiful about us too. You know, it's a beautiful thing to be a godlike being in a vulnerable human personality and body. So love yourself for your power, and love yourself for your vulnerability and your shortcomings, and then you can be happy.</i></p>
<p>----------------------</p>
<p><i>...what I usually suggest that people do is just try to as simply as you can get in touch with what feels the best to you, what would feel the most gut-feeling right to you, and try it and see what happens. You have to be willing to do a little trial and error. Take a risk, do something a little different than you usually do. Follow your heart's desire, in a small way. I don't tell people to do big things; try the small things first. See what happens, practice with it. And if you're wrong, you'll learn. You don't create total disasters by doing this, incidentally. Somehow when you have a sincere desire to really trust your intuition and do the right thing, as you're practicing you sometimes embarrass yourself a little, you sometimes make a mistake and do things a little foolishly, or whatever. But you do learn real fast by being willing to take those risks.<br />
</i>
</p></blockquote>
<p>RELATED BLOGS<br />
In her blog called<a href="http://autumnautumnautumn.wordpress.com/2008/05/30/imagine-a-kingdom/"> Autumn</a> the author  suggests that we "dream big friends! Dream big!"</p>
<p>DL Zeta suggests a variety of ways to get negative thinking turned around in her blog <a href="http://smartgirlthink.blogspot.com/2008/05/goodthinking-raise-your-vibration-part.html">Smartgirlthink</a></p>
<p><a href="http://blogs.news.com.au/squanderlust/index.php/news/comments/a_childs_imagination_our_greatest_resource">Anna Warwick</a> challenges us with whether or not we are building in enough imagination-activity for our children.</p>
<p>Katelynjane says in her post <a href="">That "Tude</a> :</p>
<blockquote><p>
Like some of you might know, I love to run. I love taking my dog out for a jog, running several blocks and pushing myself to go further. There’s just no feeling like it! I’m no pro, I can run for about half an hour straight. I have a friend who runs…like ACTUALLY runs…for two - three hours daily! But I’ve noticed that when I get on that treadmill or when my runners hit the road, if I have a negative attitude, I can never run as far as I want. If, on the other hand, I think positive, I encourage myself, I can run several miles more than I had planned. Really.<br />
I was just reading on a website that house cleaners who were told their work was meeting the Surgeon Generals specifications had decreased blood pressure, body fat, weight to hip ratio and body mass index a month later. Not so for the house-cleaners who weren’t told this good news!<br />
When you think positive and are given positive results, it affects everything! Your health, your surroundings, your performance.<br />
“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”<br />
 -Unknown
</p></blockquote>
<p>Mata H, CE for Religion &amp; Spirituality, can be found praying and imagining at <a href="http://timesool.blogspot.com">her blog, Time's Fool</a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>The lighting of candles</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/lighting-candles" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/lighting-candles</id>
    <published>2008-05-29T13:28:00-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-05-29T13:42:06-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="candle in the window" />
    <category term="candles" />
    <category term="ligting candles" />
    <category term="prayers" />
    <category term="wishes" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_eHeOSKkzbXM/SD7po7akGCI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/dyGyP4Hdtww/s200/bigstockphoto_Candles_2745854.jpg" /><i>"...lighting candle after candle as insults to the darkness."</i></p>
<p>Before I start talking about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candle">candles</a>, I'd like you to start thinking about them, and for whom you might light a candle.</p>
<p>This gets important later. Trust me.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_eHeOSKkzbXM/SD7po7akGCI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/dyGyP4Hdtww/s200/bigstockphoto_Candles_2745854.jpg" /><i>"...lighting candle after candle as insults to the darkness."</i></p>
<p>Before I start talking about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candle">candles</a>, I'd like you to start thinking about them, and for whom you might light a candle.</p>
<p>This gets important later. Trust me.</p>
<p>Every world culture/religion has some use(s) for the burning of a candle. In the most primitive of times, we see evidence of candle burning. In ancient Egypt and Crete, as early as 3,000 BCE, candles were made from beeswax.</p>
<p>For some reason, when we are celebrating an event or praying for a blessing, the lighting of a candle brings a sense of hopefulness. One imagines ones prayer rising to heaven on the smoke, or keeping the prayer "alive" as long as the candle burns.</p>
<p>Candles were placed in windows as signs that someone within was waiting for a soldier to return -- a light was kept on for him, so that he would feel welcomed at any hour. Chaplain Larry Connely's poem ends</p>
<blockquote><p>
So light his way and burn for him,<br />
And for his safe returning;<br />
Our love will be the fuel that keeps<br />
Our soldier’s candle burning.
</p></blockquote>
<p> In some supermarkets or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bot%C3%A1nica"><i>botanicas</i></a> you can buy a candle "guaranteed" to bring wealth or love or health if burned according to instructions.</p>
<p>There are sites (which I will not promote as a free ad) that get you to spend $10 and they will burn  candle for you on a special altar supposed to bring you luck in everything, including gambling. (cough, cough, skeptic here)They also sell anti-jinx bath oil.</p>
<p>Then there are sites that, for free, let you light a <a href="http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng">"virtual candle" </a> as you meditate upon your concern. You can also read reasons others have posted and add your prayer or well-wishings to theirs.</p>
<p>The lighting of a candle seems to be  part of the natural language of mystical expression. According to the Catholic Encyclopedia,</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Candles were, and are, commonly used to burn before shrines towards which the faithful wish to show special devotion. The candle burning its life out before a statue is no doubt---- felt in some ill-defined way to be symbolical of prayer---- and sacrifice. A curious medieval practice was that of offering at any favoured shrine a candle or a number of candes equalling in measurement the height of the persons for whom some favour was asked. This was called "measuring to" such or such a saint.
</p></blockquote>
<p>In my childhood as a pre-Vatican II ethnic Catholic, before mass on some Sundays I would be allowed to go up to the altar of St Teresa and light a candle. There were attractive metal stands holding banks of votive candles in red glass votive holders. One would kneel a the kneeler, deposit the requisite amount of change, use a long wax-coated skewer to light a fresh candle, and linger to offer ones prayer. I loved those quiet moments. Then, as now, they seem to center my thoughts and prayers, and help me to focus on the concerns at hand with special kind of mindfulness.</p>
<p>I love to slip into St Patrick's Cathedral and go to one of the small side altars -- usually St Stanislaus -- and light a warm candle in this cold marble cathedral.</p>
<p>I'd like us all to think today about <i> lighting three virtual candles right here in your comments.</i></p>
<p><i>Light one </i>for some prayer/intention/wish of yours for the world.</p>
<p><i>Light another one</i> for some prayer/intention/wish of yours for someone else.</p>
<p><i>Light one more </i> for some prayer/intention/wish for your own benefit.</p>
<p>I'll chime in with my candles after hearing from you.<br />
......................</p>
<p>Some <a href="http://www.candlesguide.com/quotes/">candle wisdom:</a><br />
<i></i></p>
<blockquote><p>
There isn´t enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of one little candle.<br />
Author Unknown</p>
<p>It is better to try to light a candle than to curse the dark<br />
Chinese Proverb</p>
<p>A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.<br />
James Keller</p>
<p>Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.<br />
Steven Wright</p>
<p>So many candles.. so little cake.<br />
A birthday saying for those getting on in years</p></blockquote>

<p>............................</p>
<p>RELATED BLOGS:<br />
A <a href="http://catholicinjapan.wordpress.com/2008/05/29/divine-mercy-in-rome"> a 20 something ex pat</a> writes in her blog "<i>Catholic in Japan</i> that when lighting a candle in Rome, the experience felt so intimate that it was like being hugged.</p>
<p>In <a href="http://arkadelos.livejournal.com/76179.html">Daily OM</a> Arkedelos adds:</p>
<blockquote><p>
Sometimes all we need to do is light a candle in honor of what we’ve gone through and what we’ve learned. No matter how small the gesture, it will be big enough to mark the ways in which our pain has transformed us, and to remind us to recognize and value all that comes our way in this life.
</p></blockquote>
<p>TM at <a href="http://tmeurope08.blogspot.com/2008/05/holy-cats-ancient-libraries-scenic.html"> TM Europe</a>tells of her trip to Turkey and a visit to house "perhaps" occupied at one time by the Virgin Mary, in which pilgrims light candles for loved ones</p>
<p>Mata H , CE for Religion and Spirituality has a lot of candles at her house and blogs at <a href="http://blogspot.com/timesfool">Time's Fool</a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>There&#039;s a Rescue Pup in all of us</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/theres-rescue-pup-all-us" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/theres-rescue-pup-all-us</id>
    <published>2008-05-24T19:46:40-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-05-25T10:25:41-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Pets" />
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="abuse" />
    <category term="neglect" />
    <category term="rescue animal" />
    <category term="rescue dog" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Tomorrow I pick up Zoe the Rescued Dog from her foster parents' home. She is a bichon frise that lived with a couple who were in love. Then they were not in love anymore. Zoe, now 4, was basically emotionally abandoned for over a year. She has been crated about 12 hrs a day. She has no toys. She now will have me, my home and as much joy and peace and she wants and needs. And of course, as usual, I found a spiritual lesson here. Or, like a gift from G-d, it found me.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Tomorrow I pick up Zoe the Rescued Dog from her foster parents' home. She is a bichon frise that lived with a couple who were in love. Then they were not in love anymore. Zoe, now 4, was basically emotionally abandoned for over a year. She has been crated about 12 hrs a day. She has no toys. She now will have me, my home and as much joy and peace and she wants and needs. And of course, as usual, I found a spiritual lesson here. Or, like a gift from G-d, it found me.</p>
<p>As I have been scanning the ads on <a href="http://www.petfinder.com">Petfinder.com</a> and on <a href="http://www.frecycle.org">Freecycle.org</a> I have been stricken by how much they sound like an honest personal ad  -- "Has had a difficult life"...."Was shy, but blossoms when loved"..."Frightened of men, but open to men who treat her with kindness"... "Amazingly loving given the abuse in her life"... "Determined to get her way, even if it isn't good for her"..."Overly protective of what is hers".... </p>
<p>And it hit me.</p>
<p>We all have our own inner rescue dog. Inside all of us is a pup, for some of us a very tiny pup -- for others a snarling cur, but everyone needs to get a rescue gesture for some old wound. None of us get off Scot free. We are our very own rescue dogs. Listen to unkind words for a moment and imagine them as a growl, a snarl. Hear the cries of loneliness and the sound of a whimper -- they are not so different. The nature of creaturliness is a common one. Loss is universal.</p>
<p>I look at the dogs who need homes, these warm and loving creatures, and my heart breaks. If they are not saved in time, at many 'shelters' they are killed. There are just too many, and the weight of their need is so overwhelming. We gather up all this deep need, this soulfulness, this potential for love, and we "put it to sleep".</p>
<p>In some ways I think we dispose of these animals because they bring up our own feelings of loss and alienation.  Put it t sleep where it will be "better off".  If pain is out of sight, we can perhaps pretend it is out of mind. But it is still there, reminding us in the sad eyes of dog after dog, in the hopeful look, the tentative wag.</p>
<p>So many of these dogs are abused, hurt, tortured. Some people can only quiet their own inner need for rescue by savaging it in another creature. There is research that indicates a relationship between pet abuse and later violence toward people. And there is now a site that tracks pet abuse cases called <a href="http://www.pet-abuse.com/pages/home.php">Pet-abuse.com"</a>.</p>
<p>Dogs are being tortured daily -- there are stories that are almost too painful to tell -- (brace yourselves or stop reading this paragraph and move to the next) -- puppies baked alive, a 16 week old dying dog found in a dumpster with its mouth and nose and ears super-glued shut and its legs broken, abused dog dragged behind a car with its legs tied together on a tow rope.... The <a href="http://saintfrancisanimalsanctuary.org/index.html">St Francis Animal Sanctuary</a> site has graphic pictures and descriptions that will shock you, and leave you in tears.</p>
<p>We are a country that tortures prisoners. This should have come as no surprise given what we tolerate in behavior toward animals. We look the other way for so much.</p>
<p>Yet inside us all is that abandoned one, or perhaps the hurt one, the lonely one, the damaged one, the abused one, the disappointed one, the timid one. Inside all of us is a need for a little loving rescue, the consolation of affectionate touch, the feeling that we are not alone.</p>
<p>We need to be about the business of rescue -- even more than the business of peace. Rescue is at the heart of peace. Seeing the hurt in another -- and doing something about it. Letting someone see our hurt, and accepting a rescue. I am bot talking about the old fairy-tale damsel/prince rescue nonsense. I am talking about something deeper. more universal, something that transcends gender and station in life.</p>
<blockquote><p>
From dictionary.com</p>
<p><i>To free or deliver from confinement, violence, danger or evil.</i></p>
<p>[Origin: 1300–50; (v.) ME rescuen &lt; OF rescourre, equiv. to re- re- + escourre to shake, drive out, remove &lt; L excutere (ex- ex-1 + -cutere, comb. form of quatere to shake); (n.) ME, deriv. of the v.]</p>
<p>—Synonyms 1. liberate, release, save, redeem, ransom, extricate, recover. 3. liberation, deliverance, release, redemption, recovery.
</p></blockquote>
<p>Look around you today with an eye toward rescue - and then rescue something -- an animal, a plant, a moment with another human. Ot let yourself feel your own inner spaces that need rescue. Let someone inside. Just let that word "rescue" float around in your meditation, your prayers, your thoughts. Ask G-d or the universe at large to point you in the direction of rescue. See what happens. And please, tell us what you think of rescue, or if you have ever rescued or been rescued.</p>
<p>RELATED BLOGS</p>
<p>Mandy talks about <a href="http://journals.aol.com/mandy787/TalesTailsofNewYork/entries/2008/05/24/were-not-reply/2477">the dilemmas in rescues.</a></p>
<p>Teri tells the story of <a href="http://doghealth1.com/2008/05/12/adopt-a-rescue-dog-it-could-save-your-life/">a rescue dog who saved her rescuer right back</a></p>
<p>HappyLOLday tells the story of a woman who lost her leg to cancer rescuing a goat who escaped from a slaughter house who only has three legs <a href="http://happylolday.blogspot.com/2008/05/woodstock-farm-animal-rescue.html">here</a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Vesak: Buddha&#039;s Birthday and more</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/vesak-buddhas-birthday-and-more" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/vesak-buddhas-birthday-and-more</id>
    <published>2008-05-20T20:51:17-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-05-22T06:26:28-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="buddha" />
    <category term="buddha&#039;s birtthday" />
    <category term="vesak" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_eHeOSKkzbXM/SDVV15m5YpI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/iw8Z6oAwFY0/s200/bigstockphoto_Buddha_Statue_37611.jpg" height="200" width="143" style="margin: 0px 5px 5px 0px; float: left" />Vesak (or Baisākh , depending on one's branch of Buddhism) is today in many countries. It is a celebration of the birth, enlightenment and death of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddha">Buddha</a>, commonly referred to as "Buddha's Birthday", but more accurately a celebration of his life and wisdom.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_eHeOSKkzbXM/SDVV15m5YpI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/iw8Z6oAwFY0/s200/bigstockphoto_Buddha_Statue_37611.jpg" height="200" width="143" style="margin: 0px 5px 5px 0px; float: left" />Vesak (or Baisākh , depending on one's branch of Buddhism) is today in many countries. It is a celebration of the birth, enlightenment and death of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddha">Buddha</a>, commonly referred to as "Buddha's Birthday", but more accurately a celebration of his life and wisdom.</p>
<p>In various countries, today is celebrated by cleaning house, putting up special decorations and by making offerings of food, flowers, and incense to teachers. Monks chant special scriptures and give public talks. Laypeople will often take special vows for the day and devote themselves to meditation and doing good deeds. At night, there is often a procession of candles around a Buddha statue, to honor the message of enlightenment.</p>
<p>The final day of the Fifth International Buddhist Conference on United Nations Day of Vesak 2008 concluded in Hanoi today. In addition to traditional chants for world peace, special chants were done for the victims of natural disaster in Burma and China.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.buddhistchannel.tv">The Buddhist Channel</a> reports that Dharma teacher, <a href="http://www.thelotusinstitute.org/whoWeAre.htm">Larry Ward</a>, Director of the Lotus Institute was one of the keynote speakers at the conference.</p>
<blockquote><p>
Mr. Ward reflected on the primary lesson learned in all of these settings. "The post-modern soul is seeking an experience of transformation and healing, more than an explanation of transformation and healing. If an explanation comes along, that's great. But what really matters to people is when they find their own suffering transformed and healed." He continued, "We are in the midst of a new society. The society we would be happy living in is not here yet. But the seeds of a just, democratic and civilized society are here, and we are the ground." He asked the delegates, "Where is the Buddha?" and answered, "Look close. Close to where we are, close to our own heart, or we will not find him or her." He concluded with a beautiful poem he has recently written and urged the delegates gently to continue on in their practice to relieve the suffering of all beings, to not leave anyone behind and to wake up, wake up, wake up."
</p></blockquote>
<p>Jasmine in <a href="http://nuttyloves.wordpress.com/2008/05/20/vesak-day/">M.Y.L.I.F.E.</a> in Singapore tells of her family's celebration, including a temple visit and a stop at a fascinating amusement park.</p>
<p>Dreamy in <a href="http://living-vegan.blogspot.com/2008/05/vesak-day.html">Living Vegan</a> writes from Singapore also and describes this year's Vesak at a Burmese temple.</p>
<p>Rhyn is a Chinese-Indonesian woman who writes at <a href="http://rhyn.wordpress.com/2008/05/19/vesak-day-2552/">My Life is more than just a Life</a>. While at temple she felt the lack of more deep experience of the meanings of her tradition. She shares the beginning of a renewed spiritual journey.</p>
<p>If you would like to learn more about one branch of  Buddhism by experiencing the writings of a great teacher, please read anything written by <a href="http://www.plumvillage.org/HTML/ourteacher.html">Thich Nhat Hanh</a> a Vietnamese monk and past nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize. Some quotes follow:</p>
<blockquote><p>
<i>“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle.”</i>
</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>
<i>“In order to rally people, governments need enemies. They want us to be afraid, to hate, so we will rally behind them. And if they do not have a real enemy, they will invent one in order to mobilize us.”</i>
</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>
The essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves "inside the skin" of the other.  We "go inside" their body, feelings, and mental formations, and witness for ourselves their suffering.  Shallow observation as an outsider is not enough to see their suffering.  We must become one with the subject of our observation.  When we are in contact with another's suffering, a feeling of compassion is born in us. Compassion means, literally, "to suffer with."
</p></blockquote>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>MariJo waited to die, and now we learn again about grief</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/marijo-waited-die-and-now-we-learn-again-about-grief" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/marijo-waited-die-and-now-we-learn-again-about-grief</id>
    <published>2008-05-12T21:54:56-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-05-13T10:56:03-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="death of a mother" />
    <category term="grief" />
    <category term="loss" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>My friend MariJo died today. She had been fighting cancer for about 9 years, after riding the roller-coaster of successive remissions, clean bills of health and relapses. Traditional methods, prayer, alternative approaches, special Native American healing beads, meditation, chemotherapy, psychiatric support, radiation, special diets, surgeries upon surgeries -- you name it. Her family (2 daughters, one son..the youngest in high school) and her husband have been tireless in their devotion and care for her. When Ron called me today, he said it was the 40th anniversary of their meeting.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>My friend MariJo died today. She had been fighting cancer for about 9 years, after riding the roller-coaster of successive remissions, clean bills of health and relapses. Traditional methods, prayer, alternative approaches, special Native American healing beads, meditation, chemotherapy, psychiatric support, radiation, special diets, surgeries upon surgeries -- you name it. Her family (2 daughters, one son..the youngest in high school) and her husband have been tireless in their devotion and care for her. When Ron called me today, he said it was the 40th anniversary of their meeting. "She lived through Mother's Day," he said, "I don't think she wanted to leave us on that day. After a few says in a coma, she was in and out of consciousness on Mother's Day, opening her eyes and acknowledging us all."</p>
<p>Losing a mother is just so hard - especially if there is a good and close relationship in place. I know Mari Jo did hang on for one last Mother's Day. For her, it would be a gift of love to her children -- to not have to forever know Mother's Day only as the day their Mom died. Ron and MariJo were deeply faithful people, and Ron is comforted by the fact that he knows his beloved wife is with G-d. That she is not here anymore does not mean that she is not anywhere in some form. It is to that faith that this family clings and finds hope.</p>
<p>Everyone grieves differently, handles the time of mourning differently. Not only do we bring our own set of complex feelings to the event, but we interlace it with our national, cultural, ethnic and religious beliefs and traditions.</p>
<p>When my friend Binh's mother passed on (they are Vietnamese Buddhists), the rituals associated with passing were quite different - with the whole family involved in various ways to help the soul cross over into the afterlife. The family held a 24 hour vigil at the funeral parlor, so that if the soul should emerge during that time, it should not become frightened or disoriented, as loved ones would be nearby. The family gently prepared the body for burial, being careful not to move it much at all, so as to not jostle the spirit in any way. The utmost reverence was employed, as the family performed a number of rituals to help the soul across.</p>
<p>We westerners do not really have similar rituals that seek to involve us directly with the soul of the departed as it moves through time/space. We focus more on our own grief, rather than the transition period of the departed. I saw how comforting that was to Binh's family -- to have something to do that felt helpful during a time of such sorrow.</p>
<p>When my own mother passed away, the grief ripped my heart out. But I also recall saying "It could be worse; she could be really dead." I know that she is somewhere, beyond here. In a place I cannot describe or know. But that she <i>is</i> I have no doubt.</p>
<p>Those of you who are mothers, or who have lost beloved mothers will understand me when I say that my own mother hovers to this day. Odd things happen to a few of us who were close to her in this life for which there is no rational explanation except her presence.</p>
<p>So I bring all of this on the road with me as I will drive to MariJo's wake, a few states from here.</p>
<p>I will remember the sound of her voice when last we spoke -- about a week ago -- when she sounded both fragile and hopeful, but very tired, beyond an exhaustion I had heard before.</p>
<p>I will tell her family that I believe, as do they, that she is with G-d. I will whisper to her soul tonight to not be afraid, and to know that good things will continue to unfold for her and for her family. And I'll cry.</p>
<p>I'll cry for her and for my Mom and for the shared grief in everyone who has ever lost a Mom. </p>
<p>And then I will take a deep breath and move forward in hope.</p>
<p>------related blogs---</p>
<p>Patricia, in her blog  <a href="http://patriciabralley.blogspot.com/search/label/grief">Seeing for Myself</a> describes her experience of grief from the perspective of Transcendental Meditation.</p>
<p>AnnDroid who works in two prisons, speaks of the notion of <a href="http://annedroid-annedroid.blogspot.com/2008/05/grief-plus.html">Disenfranchised Grief</a> and how it differs from 'normal' grief. This is quite interesting and well-written. Here is a brief excerpt:</p>
<blockquote><p>
Disenfranchised grief screws up the normal processes, though. Disenfranchised grief has been defined as grief that isn't openly acknowledged, isn't socially accepted, or isn't publicly mourned. The relationship, the loss, the griever are unrecognised. The mourners are cut off from social supports and don't get the chance they need to do that grief work, to express their grief, and reach a resolution stage.
</p></blockquote>
<p>Charlene in <a href="http://www.madashellclub.net/?p=2333">Good Grief and a side of Scrapple</a> recalls her own mother's funeral:</p>
<blockquote><p>
The next day as I watched my nephews, now husbands and fathers, carry their<br />
grandmother’s coffin, I could still see them as toddlers who needed to be shielded<br />
from the reality of death, and I was struck by the magnificence of authentic grief<br />
– not the reductive sadness over what was taken away, but the painful transparency<br />
of mortality and the cycle of life, and the significance of every connected<br />
existence. And for the first time, I understood her. Even from her grave, she was<br />
silently taking care of me, reminding me of what was important.
</p></blockquote>
<p>Pauline in her blog, <a href="http://prophetswords.blogspot.com/2008/05/on-other-side-of-grief.html">Writing Down the  Words</a>, says:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Life on earth is at best a chancy thing. You cannot know the exact moment when you will leave the land of the living or if your dreams will die before they've been fully lived. One thing is certain—if a loved one leaves before you, whether by accident or design, you will travel to the strange land of grief and you will go alone. The winds of change will swirl about you, pick you up, transform you forever, and set you down in another place.
</p></blockquote>
<p>Mata H, CE for Religion &amp; Spirituality blogs her soul out at <a href="http://timesfool.blogspot.com">Time's Fool</a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>&quot;The Evangelical Manifesto&quot;  Is that a wolf ear I see underneath the sheep hat?</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/evangelical-manifesto-wolf-ear-i-see-underneath-sheep-hat" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/evangelical-manifesto-wolf-ear-i-see-underneath-sheep-hat</id>
    <published>2008-05-09T22:59:12-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-05-09T22:59:12-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="conservative faith" />
    <category term="evangelical manifesto" />
    <category term="fundamentalists" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Evangelical Christians have issued a document called <a href="http://www.anevangelicalmanifesto.com/">"An Evangelical Manifesto"</a>. Well,more accurately, a <i>group</i> of 75 evangelical leaders have done so. Their names can be found <a href="http://www.anevangelicalmanifesto.com/sign.php">here.</a> Some names, like the president of the Southern Baptist Church (who was not invited to comment), however, are notable for their absence. Others have also pointed out the lack of any female or African American names on the list.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Evangelical Christians have issued a document called <a href="http://www.anevangelicalmanifesto.com/">"An Evangelical Manifesto"</a>. Well,more accurately, a <i>group</i> of 75 evangelical leaders have done so. Their names can be found <a href="http://www.anevangelicalmanifesto.com/sign.php">here.</a> Some names, like the president of the Southern Baptist Church (who was not invited to comment), however, are notable for their absence. Others have also pointed out the lack of any female or African American names on the list. </p>
<p>On the one hand, the document attempts to serve as a self-chastising document combined with a rallying cry -- and one is encouraged briefly when raeding things like:</p>
<blockquote><p>
"That way faith loses its independence, the church becomes 'the regime at prayer,' Christians become 'useful idiots' for one political party or another, and the Christian faith becomes an ideology in its purest form," the document reads.<br />
"Called to an allegiance higher than party, ideology and nationality, we Evangelicals see it our duty to engage with politics, but our equal duty never to be completely equated with any party, partisan ideology, economic system, or nationality," the document says.
</p></blockquote>
<p>But wait..there is more.</p>
<blockquote><p>
We are committed to a civil public square – a vision of public life in which citizens of all faiths are free to enter and engage the public square on the basis of their faith, but within a framework of what is agreed to be just and free for other faiths as well. Every right we assert for ourselves as Christians is a right we defend for all others.<br />
Third, we are concerned that a generation of culture warring, reinforced by understandable reactions to religious extremism around the world, has created a powerful backlash against all religion in public life among many educated people. If this hardens into something like the European animosity toward religion in public life, the result would be disastrous for the American republic and would severely constrict liberty for people of all faiths. The striking intolerance shown by the new atheists is a warning sign.</p>
<p>All too often we have attacked the evils and injustices of others, such as the killing of the unborn, as well as the heresies and apostasies of theological liberals whose views have developed into ―another gospel, while we have condoned our own sins, turned a blind eye to our own vices, and lived captive to forces such as materialism and consumerism in ways that contradict our faith.
</p></blockquote>
<p>So let me understand this.....the withdrawl from politics and the open attitude toward the voices of other faiths in the public square -- and then the paragraph about "killing of the unborn" (hardly a phrase that invites dialogue) not to mention the "heresies and apostasies of theological liberals"  -- well, it has me wondering how this moves us, as a nation,  forward.</p>
<p>Then this</p>
<blockquote><p>
Let it be known unequivocally that we are committed to religious liberty for people of all faiths, including the right to convert to or from the Christian faith. We are firmly opposed to the imposition of theocracy on our pluralistic society. We are also concerned about the liberalism of politically correct attacks on evangelism. We have no desire to coerce anyone or to impose on anyone beliefs and behavior that we have not persuaded them to adopt freely, and that we do no not demonstrate in our own lives, above all by love.
</p></blockquote>
<p>That love caused this statement (and 6 paragraphs more) about liberal Christians:</p>
<blockquote><p>
The liberal revisionist tendency was first seen in the eighteenth century and has become more pronounced today, reaching a climax in versions of the Christian faith that are characterized by such weaknesses as an exaggerated estimate of human capacities, a shallow view of evil, an inadequate view of truth, and a deficient view of God. In the end, they are sometimes no longer recognizably Christian. As this sorry capitulation occurs, such "alternative gospels" represent a series of severe losses that eventually seal their demise.
</p></blockquote>
<p>One would hope that there would be an equally strong denunciation of the far right. Here is the sole paragraph in the same section as the above:</p>
<blockquote><p>
Christian Fundamentalism has its counterparts in many religions and even in secularism, and often becomes a social movement with a Christian identity but severely diminished Christian content and manner. Fundamentalism, for example, all too easily parts company with the Evangelical principle, as can Evangelicals themselves, when they fail to follow the great commandment that we love our neighbors as ourselves, let alone the radical demand of Jesus that his followers forgive without limit and love even their enemies.
</p></blockquote>
<p>pjmiler at <a href="http://pjmiller.wordpress.com/2008/05/07/an-evangelical-manifesto-clarifying-the-evangelical-label">Sola Dei Gloria</a> says:</p>
<blockquote><p>
Global, Global, Global, seems to be the key word in this document released today, along with a Political tone. The very title: An Evangelical Manifesto -  The Washington Declaration of Evangelical Identity and Public Commitment, is political. I find that very odd when the reason given for why this document was deemed necessary was, and I quote: “the drafters are troubled that in recent years the term “Evangelical” has often been used politically…”
</p></blockquote>
<p>Kelly at <a href="http://reclaimingthefword.typepad.com/reclaiming_the_f_word/2008/05/an-evangelical.html">Reclaiming the  Word (faith)</a>  says</p>
<blockquote><p>
I sensed that I was hearing the voices of brothers, not even distant cousins, but brothers (and the charter signers are, in fact, overwhelmingly male - the steering committee is all male) ...
</p></blockquote>
<p>She goes on to add her articulate and heartfelt dismay that a document that resonated with her so strongly got bogged down in the old "affirming the sanctity of straight marriage" ("s mine, not hers) which flew in the face of a message that supports dialogue on many other fronts.</p>
<p>Caitie at <a href="http://bonitarojita.wordpress.com/2008/05/07/an-evangelical-manifesto/">Bonitarojita </a> is delighted.</p>
<blockquote><p>
I LOVE this. Love love love. As one who is a student studying political science at a very liberal, secular university, I find myself frequently not just defending my beliefs but my whole identity in Christ. I struggle every day with how my faith fits in with what I study, where I live and who I come in contact with, especially non-believers. I cannot count the number of times I’ve been on the verge of denouncing myself as an evangelical, even though I know that in the truest sense of the word an evangelical is precisely what I am.
</p></blockquote>
<p>It took about 3 years to assemble this document. There will be lots of sound and fury about it. The blogosphere is abuzz. I see no changes forthcoming, do you?</p>
<p>In fairness, here is a paragraph I wished I could believe was true. I wish. I wish.<br />
"Called to an allegiance higher than party, ideology, and nationality, we Evangelicals see it our duty to engage with politics, but our equal duty never to be completely equated with any party, partisan ideology, economic system, or nationality. In our scales, spiritual, moral, and social power are as important as political power, what is right outweighs what is popular, just as principle outweighs party, truth matters more than team-playing, and conscience more than power and survival. "</p>
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  </entry>
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