An entity has seeped into my life that accosts my professional marketing sensibilities and dignity as a consumer of beverages, adult and otherwise. This horrifying presence is in the form of a store brand soda. A cheap but acceptable imitation of Diet Mt. Dew. The offending factor--the name.

I'm CREEPED OUT! And I want to know--am I the only one? There's a company that will spin your pet's fur into yarn so you can have clothes made from it. FOR REALS!

Ah, fall. Besides all the nice crap, there's a nip in the air signaling the beginning of jacket season . . . and months of painstakingly layering scads of clothing in an attempt to avoid frost bite. Yeah, I adore fall. Well, I found out yesterday it's also apparently the start of the "Look Like a Puffy Idiot" season. What? You haven't heard? Well, thank gawd you're here.

As much time as I spend on the internet, it was bound to happen eventually—I found the holy grail of inflated, delusional male egos. And, I laughed my ass off! Site: PUAster.theadonismethod.com (PUA=Pick Up Artist) Guy: “The Fabled Adonis”

Location: Lost Nation, IA, population 500 (no, I’m not making that up--and sadder still, it's where I grew up) Setting: The Gardner House Bed and Breakfast; a Queen Anne Victorian house owned and lovingly restored by my parents (I donated a tiny bit of sweat equity during the make-over)