So, do you do it?  Pet the mouse, comfort the kitten, make with your muffin, play with the little man in the boat, dive for the pearl, pleasure yourself. And if you’re in a relationship with someone else, possibly a fella, do you do it when he’s around, or just by your lone self?   Is this a hey, this is hot come and watch, kind of thing, or is it a “Damn, I’m tired and need to put myself to sleep,” kind of thing?

In July, A & I will have been dating for two years. This is pretty much the longest relationship since my marriage ended. I love this man, and I am happy, but I worry that for me, being coupled has a time stamp. My friend L is one of those women who’s got a new beau, almost like clockwork, every two years.  Whether they’re dating, living together, or even engaged, L somehow seems to start looking elsewhere around the two-year line.  

This June, I reckon, I get my postgraduate degree—in divorce, that is. It was exactly four years ago, you see, that after 20+ years of fiercely monogamous marriage, my husband and I parted ways. I’ve written before about the shock I felt, the determination to make this split an opportunity for personal growth, and the fact that, at the end of the day, I just really had no clue what I actually wanted once I was on my own.

When the singer Pink came out as bisexual last week and I read the news, I was sitting in my home office with A, working on edit plans for a client. “This is amazing,” I said to him. “Pink said she’s into guys—and girls.” “That’s cool,” he replied, working on his database research.

For someone like me, living in oh so open-minded Northern California, the tabloid press stories about celebrities’ sex lives are kinda puzzling. Every week, there’s a story outing some star’s sexual life: “Gavin Rossdale’s ex-girlfriend is a man!” “Lindsay Lohan is gay!” “Will Smith is secret love of Tom Cruise—and his wife Jada’s on the down-lo!” “Lady Gaga’s Poker Face is about how she really likes girls!”