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TW and RJ were surfing the BlogHer 10 schedule while I was sitting here whining because my fingers weren't flying across the keyboard. RJ asked what I was supposed to be writing about. I told her "LGBT Families" and she said "Ohhhhhhhhh" like she understood the frustration or something. Then she added a cheery, "Good luck." Gee. The kid is so helpful. Her mother suggested she might want to also blog about LGBT families, and I really should have taken that as a cue to pay ask her to write this post for me. Who better to write about LGBT families than the very emotional, hormonal, 14-year-old daughter in family that has two moms?
Ah well, she's gone back to her dad's house, and I'm left holding the bag.
I struggle with this post every year, and I don't know why. Possibly because I've had teenagers to think about. I know they like to believe that I will blog about everything they do or anything they think, but it's not really true.
While they're all very comfortable with the whole two moms thing, that doesn't mean they necessarily want me to blog about what it's really like to be a teen with two moms. They never really know whether a friend is going to be shocked or outraged or even just surprised when she finds out you have two moms. Or the moment when a teacher realizes you have two moms and there's that 10 seconds in which you're somehow different than before. It's fine, usually. But it does mean that you're not like most of the other kids in your class. Being different, when you're a teenager, is both good and bad -- depending on the day of the week, the phase of the moon, or the hormones surging right at that moment. Yes, all teens feel like they're different or don't fit in -- but in the case of kids who have two moms, it isn't feeling like different -- they really ARE different, and that can be very difficult to deal with.
The older of our six kids have all survived teenhood with just a few scratches and bruises that come from having two moms. The younger kids have survived the anxiety that comes from having only enough time to create two Mother's Day gifts at school (they actually have had three moms, since their dad was remarried for awhile), and they've struggled through what to "call me" when they try to explain who "Denise" is to their friends. I'm pretty sure they're going to make it through the last few years of their childhood without too many scars. They're happy. They know they have parents (and parental figures) who love them. In the end, that's what matters to kids -- it's what makes a group of people a family.
Meet some more families like mine:
- That Lesbian Mom Next Door
- Lesbian Dad
- The Egg Drop Post
- Peter's Cross Station
- Suburban Lesbian Housewife
- Just Eat Your Cupcake
Do you know any LGBT families? Have you talked to your own children about families like mine? Check out the Blog for LGBT Families and surf the contributed posts.
~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager
Life. Flow. Fluctuate.
