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Wife of one, mom of 4, whom I home school,CFO, Secretary and founding board member of The Charis Project, a non-profit caring for refugee communities...
 
 
 
 

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Blogher 11 - Managing Expectations and the Ford Family Party

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Blogher 11 did an amazing job of making me feel special. From sponsors and vendors going out of their way to get to know me to develop a relationship and uniformed servers handing out cute little hor d'oeuvres on trays at every corner as we walked through the convention center, to over the top parties every night, to extremely thoughtful giveaway packages, everything about this conference combined to make us blogging women feel at home, and cared for and respected.

It was an incredible experience.

So I was very excited to take my family to the Ford family picnic on Sunday, even though since I had RSVP'd the church we attend had planned a big pool party for all of the families. I reasoned that this party would be so memorable they would be glad to have missed seeing friends they get to see often in order to enjoy it.

So I dismissed the quiet words of my 9 year old, "I would rather go to the pool party and see my friends."

Not Happy to be there

"There are amazing parties at this conference." I told him. "I think you'll be glad you came to it in the end."

While I spent the weekend learning and meeting online friends in real life for the first time and being pampered by companies eager to make a good impression, my children were with their grandparents. They spent a few nights camping in the front field, they made plaster casts of their faces, which they then turned into Cheetah masks, they played with aunts and uncles and had a grand time.

Sunday was supposed to be about me spending time with them again. I wanted this event to be a reward of sorts for the time I spent away from them, because I know it stretched them thin in places. So I ignored what they wanted to do and dragged them off to a sponsored event. Sure it would pay off in the end.

I got that wrong.

Between the lack of any sort of directions, the confusing nature of the park layout, the parking spaces that were roped off for a different event, my husband was ready to just keep driving and go to the pool party. (This he helpfully told me afterwards.) But, he trusted in my enthusiastic reviews of the conference and was willing to continue to tag along in an effort to see what this whole thing was all about.

He dropped us off at the park and then drove to the exhibition center to pay $10 for parking. There is no hourly rate.

The kids had an ok time. The ladies coordinating the activities were obviously working on a limited budget, and they did a great job with it. In fact they were so excellent I'm going to link to them. education.com

MAking rain sticks

My church is working on a limited budget too. They throw better parties, and they aren't a large corporation trying to impress potential influencers and bloggers with a voice. They at least rent a bounce house or two, sometimes they even have pony rides and a climbing wall.

We should have gone to the church party.

I should have chosen differently.

Here's where it would be momentarily satisfying to rip on Ford for not giving their blogher party the same weight that I did. After all, I was expecting their party to be so great that it would fill in the gaps my being away for the weekend caused. I hoped they would compensate for me somewhat selfishly dragging my family away from something they really wanted to do to something I wanted to do, because it fed my ego as a blogger. I'm sure Ford isn't thinking about their party as the first impression that a blogger's family receives of what it's like to be the family of a blogger courted by brands.

If we had no where else to be today, we would have had a very nice time I'm sure.

As I listened to the deep, not fake, disappointed crying for the 50 minute drive home as they realized that the other party was over and we had failed to leave the not so great one for the one they wanted in time, I wanted to blame Ford. I really did. I still do. But that wouldn't be fair because, really, it's my job to make my family feel special. It's my job to fill in those gaps again, by being present, by listening,

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MoreThanMommy 6 pts

I attended the Ford party with some other bloggers, but without family because mine were all the way back in Massachusetts. Things were winding down when we arrived, but I thought it was a nice low-key event, particularly for people who were from out of town. As for the disappointed kids... that's parenting. I think we all make the wrong choices for our family from time to time, whether from selfishness or good intentions gone wrong. I'm glad that you were able to admit it to your kids, and that they were able to forgive you. There's a powerful message in telling your kids, "I'm sorry. I was wrong."

carrien 5 pts

I think my kids are so good at forgiving because I give them so much practice, sadly. But they are awfully good at it. One day I'll fiure this parenting gig out, maybe in time to be a grandma and tell other people how to do it. :) MoreThanMommy

scottmonty 5 pts

Carrien,

Wow. That's not the ending I expected. As a dad myself, I've probably been guilty of the same myopic vision of just doing what I wanted to do, despite the plaintive pleas of my sons. How impressive that you reflected on the importance of what truly makes your kids happy - and how insightful of your 9 year-old to be forgiving.

What we can take away from this at Ford is probably something similar. While we were focused on our own goals and objectives and trying to take everyone's needs into mind, clearly we could have done a better job in anticipating things. Your feedback is valuable and will help us improve the experience the next time around.

Scott Monty

Global Digital Communications

Ford Motor Company

carrien 5 pts

HI Scott,

Thanks for joining in here.

I thought a number of things were very well done by you guys. The food choices were very thoughtful and obviously made with families in mind. Ditto for the bathroom trailer, such an important thing to have nearby with little ones. I hope I was clear that the disappointment I experienced stemmed primarily from my own expectations and actions, rather from anything particularly wrong with the party.

I'm happy to hear this was of value to you.

Carrien Blue

She Laughs at the Days

The Charis Project.org

scottmonty

carrien 5 pts

It was so humbling to hear "I forgive you" forced out between sniffs and gulps from my 9 year old when i apologized, just so hard. Yet he understands that I'm learning how to do this as I go along.

justlenae 5 pts

Oh, it can be such a punch to the gut when you realize you've chosen wrong, and even worse -- to hear that crying, to see the looks in their eyes. So thankful there is grace for when we make those errors, and that more often than not, our little ones demonstrate more talent at forgiveness than we do.