Words are Power

"I don't want you to be my Daddy anymore." Charlie is beginning to realize words have power. He is doing what all kids do at his age, poking at his parents to see what words trigger certain reactions.  Charlie was mad Daddy wouldn't give him what he wanted. I don't remember exactly what since this happened a few weeks ago. I do know my husband overreacted. Hubby took Charlie's statement very personally. It brought up all of Hubby's insecurities and doubts regarding his parenting skills. It brought up irrational fears regarding Charlie's birth parents for my husband. ...more
Hearing difficult words from our kids is one of the hard parts of parenting. Our sons are ...more

You Breed, We'll Benefit

You know, sometimes, even today, with all I’ve seen and learned about adoption, there comes a point when all I can do is wonder How in the world does anyone actually think about and come up with such an idea and believe it’s a good one ...more

The Day I Met My Daughter

I wrote this the day we met the Princess, age 9 at the time.  We waited six months from being chosen to be her parents to bringing her home.  We weren't allowed any contact with us during that time.  She found out about us approximately two weeks before our arrival.  Our first meeting was our first contact, other than a photo album and letter from us that she was given the day she was told about the adoption.  She had two failed adoptions and 13 (known) placements prior to us.  We met her on Monday and she was with us permanently starting that Friday. ...more

But She Wanted To

“I don’t see how there can be coercion if a woman seeks out an adoption agency because she has already made the decision that adoption is her best choice.”...more

LOL. Please let me apologize for not looking at your name when I initially commented. I realize ...more

Parenting After Adoption Loss: Things I Won't Say

After my first parented son was born, my Grandma called to check on us. I talked about how exhausted I was and how I just wanted to sleep but, oh, he was so very perfect. She quipped, "So you're gonna keep him then?" My breath caught in my throat. ...more

Meet me under the Eiffel Tower. -A sisters reunion.

I met my sister under the Eiffel  Tower....more

Top Ten Must-Read Books for White Parents of Black Children

Happy Black History Month! As an adoptive mother of two African American children (one Black, on biracial Black/white), I am often asked what I think white people who are considering transracial adoption* should do/think/know/read. As with most parenting questions, I think there are just about as many answers as there are families. That said, there are some issues unique to Black/white interracial families -- especially when the parents and white and the children are African American -- that can be addressed in a way that is useful to most if not all of them. ...more
"Black Baby, White Hands" is a memoir written by Jaiya John, the 1st black child to be ...more

Innovative Foster Care & Adoptive Program Gets Great Results

According to the Department of Health and Human Services, of the over 400,000  American children currently in foster care, about 25% will be there for more than three years. Many never find homes at all. But a new kind of foster care program may be changing this....more

Social Work: Most Days I Do More Harm Than Good

Talking about my job is an uncomfortable situation most of the time. The chain of events is so predictable, I can pretty much mark it out scene by scene. With strangers that I am unlikely to ever see again, I give the quick answer, "I'm a social worker, I work with kids." That usually satisfies them. We move on to another topic. But talking to people who know me a little better -- like my psuedo-family who I spent the holidays with -- can be even more challenging. ...more

I began my career in social work as a child protective services worker and it has always been ...more

An open letter to Oprah Winfrey

Dear Oprah, At 4 p.m. Monday, having studiously avoided all on-line references to the "big reveal" that you had scheduled, I flipped on the T.V. in my kitchen. My eyes pricked with tears listening to you weave the tale of Patricia.  As you narrated her story, I knew before you ever said it.  I knew Patricia was your sister.  Allow me to congratulate you on the new addition to your family! ...more

As a mother who lost a child to adoption in 1966, I wish to say that Margaret is correct in ...more