Several of you asked, "What's the story behind your kid who doesn't look anything like the rest of you?" I made a phone call, asked permission, and am now laying it all out there. The short answer to the question "How To Adopt a Child Without Going to Court" is by omission: When the birth parent doesn't give a shit. Simple enough?
I’ve been thinking recently about preparing for a new baby.When I was pregnant with Menininho, I couldn’t buy much or set up a nursery because I knew we were moving across the country just weeks after he would be born. I bought a yellow blanket and a frog rattle, and that was it until we were settled in our new home.When J came we were in a tiny apartment, so he slept in our room. No nursery....more
Statistically, foster situations happen when one or both parents are completely incompetent for one reason or another. My mother wasn't incompetent, just overwhelmed. My father was an alcoholic who beat my mother. He was always in and out, sometimes gone for days (jail, most likely) and even months. Then one day, he didn't come back. He was just gone. I was five-years-old the last time I saw him. He said he would meet me on Friday at the bus stop. He wasn't there, and I felt devastated.
My daughter can list all of the Kardashians, but somehow never noticed Angelina Jolie until Maleficent. She’d heard of Brad Pitt. She didn’t really know who he was, but knew he was very famous. She was very impressed when I told her he was Angelina’s partner. "Wow! She’s with him? I’ve heard of him!” She was even more interested in the story when she heard about Brad and Angelina Jolie’s adopted kids.
The news media is full of stories of parents abusing and neglecting their adopted children and stories of mentally ill indivials harming others. As parent, I think to myself, how many of these parents have sought help for their children and not recieved it? Why aren't we hearing about that? Please, read my story. People need to know that there is very little in way of support and help for these children....more
In May, I participated in Panache DeSai’s 33 day program online with his new book - “Discovering Your Soul Signature.” One thing about doing spiritual work, anything that needs to be released comes up. In my case, deep childhood emotional wounds of rejection and abandonment came to the surface once again. Those feelings started with being adopted at 2 1/2. My new Mother told me over and over again as I was growing up that I wasn't wanted, that my birth mother had rejected me from the day I was born, and was always trying to find a way to get rid...more
One of my favorite novels is The Amateur Marriage by Anne Tyler. The story follows Michael and Pauline, two starry eyed lovers who marry during the Second World War. I’ve read the book several times, fascinated by the characters as they navigate through the complexities of marriage, all while having no idea how to find their way. As much as they try to grow as a couple, they remain amateurs, never really moving forward....more
I’ve just crawled into bed and tucked the covers under my arms when there is a soft, hesitant rapping at my bedroom door.“Yes?” I call out, knowing full well who the teeny tiny rapping hands belong to.“I need to give you something,” comes the calm reply.It is nine-thirty at night, and I have just finished refereeing Sunny’s hour long tamtrum. I am exhausted, puffy eyed, and my arm is already sporting the telltale ache of a bruise forming in the spot that her heel made contact with me – several times....more
When a person is born blind, they know no other way. They don't know the pain of having sight torn from them, they don't miss the sense. They may have a longing, they may wonder and wish. It's much the same for me, as an adoptee. I know nothing else, and my parents are just that: my parents. They are my everything, just as your parents are your parents, period....more