Who Are All These Women and Why Are They Standing in My Dining Room?

It could get crowded in my dining room with those three other women, the mothers of my adopted children. It made things tight bringing food out and clearing the table, struggling to inch past them, the skinny and stout, all with black hair and brown eyes, and the wide cheekbones that are the national trademark of Nicaragua. It used to bother me a lot -- their silent clucking at what was for dinner, the suspicious eyes cast on the siblings. The slight head shakes wondering why I went all the way to another country to find children for my family. It bothered me. They just wouldn’t quit....more
@SunbonnetSmart.com  Thanks Robin.more

My Birth Son Probably Doesn't Know He's Adopted

I recently found out my birth son was likely never told he was adopted, and has been publicly speaking out about an ancestral heritage that, genetically, isn't entirely true. And I'm worried -- nay, freaked out -- about how he might feel, if he discovers his adoptive cultural background and biological background don't match....more
@Jasperblu THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.  As an adoptee (dealing with adoption issues even at ...more

Who Does Your Son's Hair?

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. ~ Benjamin FranklinLike most mothers who are expecting, adoptive parents spend a lot of time preparing themselves for their new son or daughter. They read books, blogs, magazines, take classes, talk to other adoptive parents, you name it. Some adoptive parents try to cover not only the basics of child care, but also a whole range of posibilities; a child with special needs, a child of a different race, a child with trauma. ...more

Adoption and Loss

Anne KimballLife on the Funny Farm...more

Adopted in New Jersey

Having been adopted in New Jersey, I was never able to obtain my original birth certificate. Growing up I begged my adoptive mother over and over for any possible information she might have about my birth mother until one day, shooting her foot through the kitchen wall she screamed, “Don’t ever ask me that again.” I guess that was the end of the story. For years I would go on believing I must have been the product of rape, incest or my birth mother just wanted to get rid of me....more

Our Adoption Story, and What I Wish I Had Known

Adoption is a difficult road to navigate. When we chose to pursue adoption, we didn’t know many people who’d been down this road before and who could provide us with the basics on what to expect along this new phase of our journey. ...more
Thank you so much for sharing!  My husband and I have just finished our home study and are now ...more

Advice for Parenting after Adoption

So you've either just started the adoption process or you're already a new adoptive parent. Whether you're navigating domestic, international, or a foster-to-adopt program, all forms of adoption have elements in common and this crib sheet aims to get you ready or help you along as you become a parent. You've probably already studied the mechanics of parenting such as feeding, changing, bathing and transporting, but what about all the unique parenting moments that come up through adoption? ...more

Thoughts About Final Thoughts

While vacationing during the holidays in December, I was on my way for an early morning walk when my luck seemed to run out. Starting from the sixth floor of my hotel, I planned to take the stairs for my “warm-up”. As I approached the elevators on my way to the stairway, I saw a couple who were on the tennis court near us the day before shortly before we were all rained out. They were off to the courts to play again and we got to chatting about the weather, and other matters, when the elevator arrived....more

Racism, Our Progress and Our Problems

“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation — either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”                         -Martin Luther King Jr. This is a week to reflect on how much progress we’ve made since the days of segregation and how much farther we have to go to fight racism....more
As far as Racism and Prejudice, unfortunately it will never go away. There are people that ...more

Why we aren't open to adoption

"You still don't have kids?" "When are you having kids?" "Oh you guys must do something about that." "Let me teach you how..." Perhaps, this 2013, I should start counting how many kinds of these remarks do we get in a year. It's actually ok to hear these remarks at the first two years of marriage, since we actually didn't want kids during that period. But after 4 years, these get into us.  It equates to pressure.  Actually, after 4 years, we get this: "How about adoption?" The answer is no.  And why? ...more