The Nest Can't Always Be Full.

We were in Albany for a week, when I told Alison we would be home for the weekend; her response surprised me.  She said “good” and all I heard was relief and excitement.  Now, I pretty much dismissed that as a fluke because I have raised a ridiculously independent woman, but then Raymond sent me a text saying he was home from Florida, and I told him we would be home for the weekend, I got the same response.  I determined it was no fluke....more

Parents Abused by Adult Children

Parental abuse is a silent problem, widely prevalent but not widely discussed. Search online and most of what comes up is about parents who abuse children.Parents who are bullied by their adult children have trouble admitting it; they may even deny that there is a problem. They feel depressed, and anxious....more

Hug A Brat Today

I never realized how much of a loss I would feel when my son moved out. I’ll admit it took five years to feel it, but it’s happened.I’m grieving the loss of my kid’s childhood. It’s as painful as any grief I have ever felt. I see women, some my age, with young kids and I’m filled with a terrible melancholy. I feel like it was over in a day, I brought them home from the hospital and the next day they were twenty years old.I feel like I have forgotten how tiny their little fingers and toes were.I feel like I’ve forgotten their first step and their first word....more

Wilted: The Power of a Mother's Criticism

My mother scolded me on the phone one night for leaving my eight-year old daughter alone while I went to the store and I didn't talk to her for months. I felt the scorch of her judgment in every part of my body. It made me sick, angry, indignant, sorrowful, shamed....more

If This Then That: Reflections on Adoption

The theology of adoption has a thick ribbon of rescue running through it....more

Adult children of divorce

As I have mentioned before, my parents divorced when I was young. There is no doubt in my mind that it was the best decision for both of them. There is also no doubt in my mind that it was a hard decision for them to make. ...more

I Wrote a Book!

So I took 8 years of stories about raising a Millennial (aka Brittany Geiger Smith) and turned them into a book which just went live as an ebook on Amazon today! I've got it priced low for the first month hoping people will buy it, read it ...and review it....more

Closer Then Ever

Well, the wedding is over. I prayed for good weather and got it! I also prayed that Brittany would think it was perfect and she said she did! So I’m happy!I choose to be happy about it! Not worried that some of my friends might be prophetic.After my last story where I talked about having over a year to create “the perfect wedding”, two friends called me to say, “Don’t worry about it being perfect. Worry about getting a shower! They each had so many things to do the day their kid got married they didn’t even get to take a shower!...more

Parenting the Adult Child-- Where's the How-To Book?

She put her hands on her hips and gave me that “parent smile.” You know the one, kind of smug and slightly condescending. With an exaggerated sigh she said, “You can’t micro-manage your kids.”...more

You Want To Move Back Home?

Well, let me tell you:I've barely stepped a foot in Nikki's old room since she moved out in 2006. TWO THOUSAND AND SIX! Sure, I went in there to make sure she removed every last trace of Nikkiness and took it with her when she moved out. Not that I didn't want any residual of Nikki here, I just have enough of my own stuff to contend with. My intention back in 2007 when I asked her to get the last of her stuff out of the closet was to spread out. (I do have a splatter painting she made in 3rd grade framed and hanging on a wall). ...more
@Denise thanks! steps are exercise too, right? lolmore