Eating Disorder Awareness Week: What You Don't Know About Me

I started long after I knew better, past the age when my decisions could be chalked up to that invincible feeling that fades away as we get older. Already a mother, I should have been setting a good example and following the very rules I was setting for my own child. I was embarrassed by my weakness. Life was too much. Single parenting and autism and a whirlwind of experience I couldn’t seem to grasp left me feeling undeserving of the most basic necessities and looking for something I might actually be able to control. ...more
Thank you for addressing such a hard topic and sharing your own personal struggles.  It's ...more

Enough

I worry.I worry about not being smart enough.Ambitious enough.Maternal enough.Outgoing enough.Thin enough....more

The Family Secret We Can No Longer Keep

Since September of 2012 our family has been keeping a secret from most of the world.  Only a select handful of friends are aware of what's been going on.  Beyond that tiny group of people the only others that know are the ones that “needed” to be aware of the situation.  It has been a tough and exhausting road, and the journey has only begun. However we've recently come to realize keeping this secret is not helping anyone and may even be making matters worse....more
I'm sorry this has happened but I'm glad you're talking about it. We need to be able to talk ...more

Starving to be Thin | Are Your Standards Too High?

Recently, a 19-year-old girl reached out to me regarding her experience with being hospitalized for four months for the treatment of her anorexia.  I was so touched because she told me she aspired to look like me.  I had tears rolling down my face at the thought of her feeling that way.  Having had a battle with anorexia as a teen myself, I understand the delusional mindset of such a person firsthand.   Those dark days are far behind me now, but my 13 year old self didn’t understand how much work it takes to look this way.  Denying oneself the proper calories i...more

I love the blog, her message said. But I'm dying. Don't waste your time on me.

“Thank you for the blog. (I’m paraphrasing) I wish I had your strength. I weigh 78 lbs. and I am dying from anorexia. I don’t think I’m going to pull out of this last downhill spiral. But please don’t waste your time on me. I just wanted to tell you that your blog is helping as much as anything can right now. So thank you.” Wednesday evening. Sober Rants in Skinny Pants has been online for 3 days. I receive this message  from a woman I haven’t seen in years but have known almost my whole life. I’ll call her S . ...more

Fashionably starved

Rehab Day One

    Kelly is attending her second day of Intensive Outpatient Therapy at Shands Vista's Eating Disorder Recovery Program located in Gainesville, Florida.  It was a 90 minute drive from school today.  I am sitting in the library of the Santa Fe College located right across the street....more

honey, i shrunk myself

I want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain; And never shut myself up in a numb core of non-feeling, or stop questioning and criticizing life and take the easy way out....more

Eating Disorder Group Loses Leader to Eating Disorder

In 30+ years of food battles and active work within the eating disorder communities, I've never actually known anyone personally who died from an eating disorder.Now I know someone. The executive director of the Eating Disorders Information Network, EDIN. Lisbeth Rhine started struggling at the about the same age as me, and in the end it got her, about 10 years younger than me. ...more

Binge Eating Goes Beyond that Extra Slice of Pie

Some women harbor a secret eating behavior so out of control and humiliating they suffer in silence. If only they knew that binge eating wasn’t lack of willpower, but a real psychiatric condition....more