My Kids Are Not Entirely Fond of Puzzles

This journey…this intro to life with a child on “the spectrum” has been challenging to say the least.  We have so many devastating moments that are balanced by those of complete and utter joy…of hope.   Just when I think we are on the right path of diagnosis, Ben has a few hours of complete normalcy that lead me to believe maybe we’ve been too hasty here.  Maybe I have more control over this than I originally thought....more

Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s day and fuck autism.  I recently had a friend who said that she never complains about her situation and just puts her head down and deals with it.  I would give anything to have that kind of strength, but I don’t have it.  I’m weak and angry and depressed and hopeless and everything else that you can throw in.  I’m beyond my limits in every way.  I have no reserves to draw from.  I have nothing.  I’m holding it together by sheer will… and that’s running out....more
I think about my little guy all of the time.  It breaks my heart to see my baby go through this. ...more

Etiology and Biochemical Abnormalities of Autism by Alan Schwartz, M.D

I came across Etiology and Biochemical Abnormalities of Autism, by Alan Schwartz, M.D.  He did a great job at both explaining the differences & their similarities between Autism, Aspergers, ADHD, Rett’s Syndrome.  As well as some of the medical problems associated with these disorders.  The fallowing comes from www.springboard4health.com It is well  worth the read, if you have the time for it.—–...more

Not The Queen Of The Autism Ball

 We bought noise-canceling headphones for the fireman, to help with his sensory issues, but I’m the one wearing them right now.  And. I....more

Playing With Puzzles

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 @Isabel_Anders  We are certainly working on it...thank you so much for reading!more

We Are Here: An Online Community Mobilizes To Help Its Own

A few months ago, I started writing my story in the form of this blog. I didn't know then and still do not know where it will lead me, but along the way I discovered a fulfilling, new community of friends. We live across America and across the globe, and we speak to each other daily in 140 characters or less....more

Guilt, With A Side Of Whisky

Again, with the guilt.  If there is anything that is consistent in this autism experience, it is that guilt is a constant and a given.  This morning, I awoke to the screaming (that’s becoming a constant, as well).  My feet hadn’t even met the floor before the chaos began.  I walked into the living room to see my partner, my beautiful partner of infinite patience, trying to calm the fireman.  To no avail.  Yay, it’s Sunday!I contemplated going back to bed, but it would mean two things, well three actually:1.  I would actually be giving up....more
I'm listening! Feeling sad and feeling your pain. I also feel the endless love you have for your ...more

World Autism Awareness Day

On the autism roller coaster, I’ve hit a deep low.  Last night Bruno and I had a painful talk about the reality of our situation....more
My heart sank. Sending my hug to you.more

my husband has aspergers, but today he's being a jerk

my husband has aspergers, but today he's just being a jerk....more

I Love My Autistic Son -- Even Though I Hate Autism

Many people seem to arrive at my website through an autism or Asperger’s internet search. I’ve seen everything from “my autistic son walks in circles” to “I hate my autistic child.” As you can imagine, it hurts my heart when I see some of the more upsetting search terms. When I first saw the search about hating their child, I immediately began a blog post addressing it, but I stopped myself half-way in. The truth is, I can understand that moment, when you are so angry and hopeless and powerless over your situation and you feel such huge, overwhelming emotions and you desperately seek relief or answers. I probably have turned to the internet on more than one occasion, searching for similar help. I get it....more
I disagree with farlandar.  I have Asperger's Syndrome and my son has extremely low-functioning ...more