It all started when my husband and I discovered that we had a compatible fantasy. I admitted that I sometimes wondered what it would be like to have sex with two men at once, and he admitted that he sometimes fantasized about watching and participating while I had sex with another man. The discovery catapulted our somewhat tame, married-for-13-years-with-several-kids, once-a-week-ish sex life into three-or-four-times-a-night, fantasy-fueled, ecstatic and adventurous lovemaking. And we started to wonder, was this a fantasy we could make reality? ...more
My daughter’s hair smells like honey, because that’s how little girls are born. Sugar and spice and all things nice is not an exaggeration or a poem, it’s based on scientific fact. But I didn’t always like girls; I had been a mom of a boy for 8 years before the XX made me puke for 9 months. Without a sonogram I knew she was a girl; I kept saying “no boy would treat his mother this way.” ...more
Before I became a runner, I used to obsess about how much I weighed, how I looked, and what I ate. I fell into the same mental traps that many women (and men) have battled. My abs sure didn’t look like the woman’s on the cover of Self magazine, and I fixated on how my body would never compare to hers....more
"What do you hate about your body?"
My Weight Watchers leader posed this question to our group at the opening of a recent meeting. A supportive group of survivors, we were understandably confused.
This meeting was our sanctuary. To encourage us to be openly critical of parts of our bodies was incredibly uncomfortable, like ripping a loose fart during a quiet moment in a Sunday church service.
For many years, there has been an uninvited guest at the holiday table. He is rude, selfish, awkward and annoying. No one knows how to approach him about leaving though. They feel that if they are too obvious or pushy, he will be offended, or maybe cause a scene. This guest is named Ed. He usually dresses the part of a polite guest, and for the first while when he walks through the door, he is on his best behavior. Once he sits down at the dinner table though, he is a force to be reckoned with. He pokes at his food, barely takes a bite....more
I’m sitting at the dermatologist office impatiently waiting to get my ears sewn for the second time. It’s 12 noon and my appointment was at 11 a.m. It’s called “island time”, and everyone knows it, even the children....more
I’m sitting at the dermatologist office impatiently waiting to get my ears sewn for the second time. It’s 12 noon and my appointment was at 11 a.m. It’s called “island time”, and everyone knows it, even the children. So with no concrete expectation of when I can return to work as this IS my lunch hour (Yes, I’m a full-time employee and mom), here’s a partially opened window into my world....more