"Effortless Perfection" from the Duke University Chronicle

 I didn’t write this post that you’re about to read.  This column was submitted to the Duke Chronicle in 2003.  My daughter just sent it to me and I read it and I firmly believe that this is as true today as it was 8 years ago.  To me, this is a typical college girl and although a Duke University student wrote it; I feel this is indicative of how many girls in schools all over the United States feel....more

Rad Fatties Project: Episode Six

San Francisco 2008: my brave summer The Rad Fatties Project is a body-positive silent self-portrait celebration of what is fine and wonderful about the wide diversity of human bodies....more

When Your Body Breaks Your Heart

When I started The Shape of a Mother in 2006, I had expected posts full of pictures of bellies, pregnant and postpartum, lined with joy and growth, wrinkled with love. Stories of women who learned to love themselves despite looking so different from the airbrushed models of magazines, stories of women who loved themselves because they looked so different. ...more

How horrible. My heart goes out to them.


The work of self-discovery is never done, even when you look the same

When I hear the word "change" I automatically think "diapers." Oh, that's not what you had intended by picking that word this month, Ma...more

The Promises We Make Our Bodies

We have been through so much together, you and me. In my much younger days, you were perkier and less lumpy. A fitting end to my giraffe-like legs that were also free of lumps and bumps, veins and baggy parts. In college, you were made for 501's and not much else. I could eat and eat, once cramming in 11 pizza burgers in the college cafeteria, and you wouldn't change a bit. ...more
I've struggled with body image my whole life. If there's an American woman out there who is ...more

I'm Collecting Fat Myths--Will You Help?

I've been writing a series on my blog about fat myths, based on Dr. Pattie Thomas' list of ten myths in her book Taking Up Space.As part of that series, I'd like to make a list of other fat myths so I can continue to write about them. Is there a myth about fat that you'd like to see me write about? Please let me know in a comment!I've gotten some great responses on my Facebook page, including:Fat people have a thin person inside them, waiting to come outFat people all have eating disordersFat people don't know how much they eat or exercise...more

"Fat" Really Should Be a Four-Letter Word

“Fat” is hurtful – incredibly hurtful. ...more

Learning from my toddler: there's just one

This morning I sat down at my computer to write a blog. I really didn't have anything specific in mind just yet. A few ideas here and there. I sat down to see if I could make something happen on the screen when my little one had a complete and total meltdown....more

Why Wedding Dresses are like Cocaine

I was never a girlie-girl. When other girls were playing Hop-Scotch or Barbies, I was at the local pond catching frogs. My mother would occasionally sew me a dress and I would reluctantly wear it a couple times, although it was usually made for a particular event to which it was a necessity to wear it.I was very good at ruining pretty things. I can even recall at my mother's wedding, I had ripped the lace hem clear off my flower girl's dress and my Aunt was frantically sewing it back on in the limo while I was completely hysterical. Shit!...more

Bikini Confidence

Bikini Confidence is a big part of getting ready for bikini season. Probably the most important. You can eat right and exercise all you want, but if you don't love your body and have confidence in who you are then bikini season will always be dreadful. I'm tired of hiding behind a towel at the pool....more