Inferior

When did my daughter start thinking she was fat?It began with the need to cover up her leotard at gymnastics.My three girls ran into the gym and started peeling off their sweatpants and shirts. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her, still fully dressed, fiddling with her shoelaces. “Can I leave on my pants?” she asked.I chalked it up to the gym feeling a bit chilly. Soon, she started wearing her pants and a shirt over the leotard until she eventually refused to even put on a leotard for class....more

P90X / Insanity Hybrid Journey Day 3

Aug 21, 2013 Work out:  P90X Shoulder & Arms / Ab Ripper X I still haven't weighed myself.  I will go by these pair of jeans that I love.  I am litterally scared to weigh because I don't want it to spiral me into a state of depression.  Last I know, I was at 135.  I'm going with that because I can handle that number.  I am a mother of 2 wonderful children, a wife to a loving husband, a dog lover to my chocolate labradoddle, a preschool teacher and a survivor of many things!!  I AM MORE THAN WHAT THE SCALES TELL ME!!!  So I'm on str...more

P90X / Insanity Journey Day 2

Aug 20th, 2013 Work out:  Insanity Plyo Cardio Circuit 7:30 am So excited to do Insanity!  My upper body is sore as hell though.  I had the same breakfast which consisted of egg whites and my thin bagel with avacado on top.  I had some pretzels and string cheese for a snack while I worked this morning and then one of my healthy choice meals for lunch since I will be working and its easy.   3:45 pm Well… I didn’t get a chance to do Insanity today....more

P90X / Insanity Journey Day 2

Aug 20th, 2013 Work out:  Insanity Plyo Cardio Circuit 7:30 am So excited to do Insanity!  My upper body is sore as hell though.  I had the same breakfast which consisted of egg whites and my thin bagel with avacado on top.  I had some pretzels and string cheese for a snack while I worked this morning and then one of my healthy choice meals for lunch since I will be working and its easy.   3:45 pm Well… I didn’t get a chance to do Insanity today. I worked all morning and afternoon and then my daughter has gymnastics tonight....more

My P90X / Insanity Hybrid Journey Day 1

Aug 19th, 2013   height: 5'2   weight: 135   goal weight: 125 (healthy & toned not starved) 8:15 a.m.  Last night was my last sip of red wine for a couple of days.  I know that sounds crazy ridiculous to some but for me the thought of not having a glass of red wine before dinner and during dinner causes some anxiety.  I write this blog mostly for myself to keep me journaling and accountable.  I don't care to share my journey really because I fear my failure.  I normally start a new program and quit.  I used...more

Is Your Inner Child Stomping Her Foot?

Do you see what I see?

Looking in the mirror we all see a version of ourselves that is probably quite different than what others see.  Anyone that has ever dealt with any bullying growing up will attest to the fact that it definitely adds to seeing yourself differently, and to be convinced otherwise is a challenge....more

Skinny

I did it.Today I purchased my first pair of skinny jeans....more

"The Beauty is in the Imperfection" and Other Things We Need to Believe

This past Friday night, I awoke from my sleep in a cold sweat, nearly in tears and downright angry.  In my dream, my husband had just finished a conversation with, "And by the way, I think you're ugly and I hate your thighs!" ...more
It's past time to stop saying things we don't mean. "There is beauty in the imperfection" is ...more

I Confess: I Cut Myself

I’ve added a link on the “Where to Get Help” page to To Write Love on Her Arms. I first heard about this organization from a fellow patient at the psychiatric ward I stayed in during my second pregnancy. The woman, whom I’ll call Gabi, suffered from anorexia, depression, and anxiety, and she coped by cutting herself. She would cut herself in lines along her leg to comfort herself when she was feeling stressed out....more