4 AM Shame

warning:  may be triggering for those with an eating disorder.It’s 4 am and my head is pounding, my heart is racing, my stomach is cramping and my hands are shaking.   It’s been another day of bad food choices and shame.   I’m sad — I eat. I’m happy — I eat. I’m lonely — I eat....more

Will I Ever Be "Normal"?

Welcome to day 1 of National Blog Posting Month!  Today I am posting something I wrote earlier this week.  Not to worry, I will be writing new stuff on here and as always at my main blog, Not A Punk Rocker for every day in November   I plan to make some things exclusive to BlogHer as well....more

The Stupid Sister

Can I call your sister stupid?No? Does that bother you? I’m not sure why, seeing as how you don’t even like your her. You tell anyone who will listen and rarely go home for holidays. What? What was that? Oh, so you think your sister is stupid? So what’s the problem? Why is it that, even if you agree wholeheartedly with my sentiments, that it seems somehow inappropriate for anyone other than yourself to comment on the obvious lack of intellect with which your loved ones were gifted?...more

13 Years Out...My Recovery From An Eating Disorder

My mom was the one who figured it out. That seems to be the way a lot of the time -  moms just know things. My teeth were the giveaway. During summer break after my freshman year at Cal, mom had made an appointment for my yearly dental exam, and I came back with 9 new cavities. She'd noticed some suspicious things before - making big meals, long trips to the bathroom, fluctuating weight, crazy emotional outbursts, but before the trip to the dentist, nothing was too out of the ordinary for an 18 year old girl. But that one did it....more

Bringing Bulimia to Work

Potential trigger warnings for eating disorder behaviors.Twenty-nine minutes. That was my record for locking myself in the bathroom last year in the middle of a binge/purge attack during the workday. I know because unlike some people, I still have to wear a watch everyday out of habit....more
Lynds -Thank you, and congratulations on your recovery journey too!more

Bulimia - like being possessed

So, what is it actually like?  Well, I'm pretty sure its different for everyone, but for me, I can only describe it as like being possessed.  Some days are wonderful, filled with light and joy, when I can fool myself that I am completely normal.  I eat well - I mean real, good, proper food - and I enjoy it, and I think that it should always be that way.  ...more

My name is Liz and I have bulimia

Hello there,I'm new here, but I'd like to get it out in the open straight away - after all, that's why I'm here in the first place.  So, stand up, take a deep breath..."My name is Liz and I have bulimia."Gosh, that was both harder and easier than I expected - I haven't said it much you see, to one or two therapists, a psychiatrist (although we were mostly talking about postnatal depression at the time, more about that later), my husband, and just in the last week, to two of my closest friends....more

I Bought A Dress

Today I feel vulnerable.  In fact, I feel a lot like drawing the curtains, hiding under a duvet and not speaking to anyone....more


Dear Woman Sitting at the Table Next to Me,I know you're bulimic. I know you're currently hoarding food so that, in a minute, you can politely excuse yourself and go throw it up in the bathroom. I know that, while you're in the bathroom, you're going to shove your fingers down your throat, hoping to purge the two bowls of soup, three slices of bread, order of pasta, and chocolate milkshake that you just consumed....more

Tumblr Takes Stand Against Eating Disorder Blogs

Easy to use and completely customizable, the platform is hugely popular with teens and 20-somethings, which has raised some questions about the content Tumblr allows users to post. Five years after its launch and facing an explosion of blogs that glamorize harmful behaviors such as eating disorders and self-injury, Tumblr has finally decided to modify its anti-censorship position and take a stand against self-harm. ...more
this is great! as someone who struggled with bulimia for 7 years and still continues to struggle ...more