The Language of Love

What is your language of love? How do you communicate love to your partner? My boyfriend and I are trying to figure out the answer to that question right now. I’ve always thought I liked to receive love through words of affirmation—I like to hear "I love you" and like to hear sweet things. However, because of the nature of our relationship, love is only being expressed through words and I’m now feeling as if I want to receive love in other ways as well. ...more

Dipping My Toe into Online Dating

On a sunny winter day, a new friend came over and we worked in the yard. As we excavated three months' worth of weeds, we talked about relationship stuff and she asked questions that unearthed some hibernating assumptions inside me. ...more
Ugh!  Yes tried eharmony and HATED it (closed out my profile early, plus $$) , tried match.com ...more

We're (reluctantly) Engaged!

Our engagement was a bit of an uncomfortable situation. We'd hardly been dating a year and, having just gotten out of the *worst*relationship*ever*, (with this loser, if you're wondering) I was barely keen on dating Sexy Nerd. One weekend, he checked us into a local hotel for a "romantic surprise". Ummm...yeah. ...more

When is single not single?

When is single not single? When a potential date is still living with his/her ex for "financial reasons"? When the same person says s/he is "too busy" with work? What if this potential date keeps saying "it's not you," meaning, s/he is not avoiding getting together with ME, but just "can't": do we believe him/her? For how long? How many chances do we give him/her? No matter how interesting, attractive, appealing, or compatible this person may seem, unavailable is NOT single, IMHO, and I want to know when to give up.  ...more

Who Wags Who?

First published on my blog, www.blueballsofthesoul.com on Feb. 16 2011 I was hoping there would be a "humour" category but there was not. Please enjoy a lighthearted take on coupledom :) Be it as a handler, admirer, aficionado or friend of the male genitalia, I have become aware of a behaviour that I believe is exhibited by ALL straight men if given enough time or booze to become comfortable enough to do so.  I call it the dick wag.  The origin of the dick wag is unconfirmed but believed to have originated back when they made the boys and girls take separate health classes.  The other theory is that once at the beginning of the history of dicks a female actually looked the wagging dick in its eye and said "YES PLEASE!" and men have been trying ever since to replicate the experiences for themselves.  Over the years I have gathered data on a random sample, representing the main varieties of North American Domestic dick. The gays, or "Wild" dick are not included as their wagging habits are by nature superfluous.  A few notes on the dick wag.  Public urination is not the same thing at all.  Straight men do not as a rule wag their dicks at other straight men.  Gay men will wag wherever whenever with gusto.  Finding answers about dick wag is like finding your nearest Fight Club.  In searching for the answer to the mystery of the dick wag I found out who killed the Black Dahlia, a map to Atlantis and three horcruxes. I still have no idea why men shake their dick at women. ...more

After Widowhood: Hot or Not?

So, I started to wonder, was my husband really telling me the truth? It's not that I never saw myself as sexy or interesting or smart. I just never saw myself as that person for anybody but him. It's been a strange journey reframing my vision of myself as this person independent of another. I like her, this whole, sexy, smart, fully-formed me. She's kinda awesome. ...more
Hi, thanks for that, I lost my hubby. He said I looked good too. I wished I believed him at the ...more

Dark Days of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in Menopause

“It’s hot in here…turn on the fan… It is cold…add another blanket… It’s hot, take the blanket off…” But this is the middle of winter! I can’t make up my mind what temperature feels comfortable. After two years of this I should have driven my husband insane by now, and yet my Dear-heart patiently goes along with my constant temperature changes. “I am flexible, Honey,” is all he ever says to me. I tell you, the man has got to be a saint! He just never complains....more

Dating: Mating Season Theory

A friend of mine asked me to put some of my theories in writing because it may help someone so here goes....more

"I Got The Fever" -- Less About Interracial Relationships, More About Clueless Bigotry

J.C Davies’ "I Got the Fever" is a perspective on contemporary interracial dating from a white female perspective. With chapters titled "Salsa Fever," "Jungle Fever," "Yellow Fever," "Curry Fever" and "Shiksa Fever," it's also a stunning display of how pervasive racial bigotry can be....more
Based on the excerpts and the quotes you provided, I feel like this book does more to promote ...more

Are you talking to me??

There you are, in line at the grocery store when a very attractive person brushes up against you accidentally…or so you think. How can you be sure?...more