This is not how it was supposed to be

For 6 years, 6 long, long years, I fought and cried and suppressed my own needs and wants, and died a little inside every time I failed to make us happy. Thinking it was me that had the problem; I was selfish and a bitch.  After all, I wanted this. I actively sought out someone to make a life with, make a family with. ...more

Functioning with Depression

Sometimes when I feel vaguely under the weather, I don't really connect all the random "not-quite-right" feelings into one, "Oh, I'm sick!" revelation right away. "Why am I so tired?" I wonder. "I feel thirstier than usual. What's with that?" "I'm kind of cold." And then someone mentions a virus going around, or another member of my family comes down with something, and it'll click....more

Diabetes AND depression? Your risk for cognitive decline is higher than most

You may have read the diabetes and depression each increase your risk of cognitive decline, but what happens when you have both?A new study from the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle has found that people with comorbidity (i.e. the presence of two chronic diseases or disorders at once) have a much higher risk of dementia and Alzheimer's. The Danish study looked at data from 95,691 people who had depression and/or type 2 diabetes. They found: ...more

Today, Mommy is Sad

Son,I know you are confused right now because Mommy has a wet face. You keep saying “boo boo” and kissing my knee, and I just sit here in the rocking chair cradling my stomach.Thank you for that little car, kiddo. It really does make my heart smile. It’s just that right now the smiles aren’t breaking through. And yes, I will take that blanket. Blankets really do make a difference, don’t they?...more

Perfect Hair

I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. that night. Exhausted after a long week on the road. At 10:30 p.m. my phone rang and I ignored it. At 10:32 p.m. my phone rang again and I turned it off. At 11:00 p.m. I awoke to my husband gently shaking me and telling me I needed to get up. He’d been in another town visiting friends when he got the call. He made the two hour trip home to be sure that he was the one who broke the news. My mother had been institutionalized after an attempted suicide and would be held in the facility until someone came to claim her....more

I Am

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Confessions of a Former Cutter

I never thought I would write this story. It's something I never wanted to be made public. But I've recently been thinking about my journey and decided it's time to confess to something I no longer do.I am a former cutter. I used to self-mutilate. (As I type this, my chest tightens with tension and anxiety.)...more

Flashback Friday: My Brain is Broken

Let's take a trip down memory lane to the last time I had a really bad depressive episode. It's been over a year without one and that's an extremely long time for me. I owe it all to my anti-depressant and I couldn't be happier about it. January 13, 2014 me was not happyThis past week has been a long one....more

Depression

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