There are no “Get Well” cards when you have depression......

One of the greatest things I have learnt since being sick with severe depression is that it is a lonely place to be.  For most, family and friends aren’t around as much as they use to be.  In fact, in some cases, like with me, they are never seen again.  This is the sad reality of mental illness, being deserted by those closest to you, with no explanation but what you suspect is because being around someone with severe depression feels unhealthy, it is too hard, and they don’t want to be around you....more

My heart.....

My heart,Represents a waterfall,That holds all my feelings,The water which falls,Little droplets which fall,Crashing to the bottom,So do my tears,Tears which show,Fears from my heart,The difference,The water flows on after it’s decent,But what is broken in my heart, stays,The droplets float away,Away to a different peaceful place,Feelings in my heart,Fears that cannot escape,Tears showing my feelings,Built up inside,Never let go,...more

Her Evil Place......

In a place,Faraway,Lives a girl,Locked away,Her heart and mind,Broken and battered,Fading away,In a dark evil place. Nobody she can turn too,Except the problems in her life,All forgotten,In her place of evil hindrance,Of forgotten memories,Everything filled with sadness. Left by friends,Forgotten by family,Nobody cares,A life of endless nightmares,All about betrayal,Filled with hatred, and heartache,A soul filled with sorrow....more

Locked Away.....

So small and sensitive,A place of my own,A key to a cage,Storing my heart,Protecting me from pain,Locked away in a faraway place. Nobody to help,To reach this place,I have a key,But there’s nobody there,To open my heart,To see my feelings. The place is at the end,Of a long and dreary path,Hard and bumpy,To my faraway place,Everyone hurts me,And the place becomes much further,Forever locked away. ...more

The battle within myself.....

For a couple of months now I have felt like I may be on top of things, that I have finally started down that road to recovery from severe depression.  But deep down there is always the doubt in the back of my mind that maybe I am just manic, being unrealistic, thinking that what is happening is all but a dream that will never come true.  When do I reach a point, a level of wellness that I can actually know that I am ok, that the Black Dog has, this time, actually gone for a walk!...more

Did I die inside?....

Benjamin Franklin once said "many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five...."Benjamin Franklin was right.  The difference for me is that I died before I reached 18.  I often feel that I have died inside because of what severe depression has done to me.  Years of suffering without diagnosis and the right treatment has slowly killed me inside.  ...more

Never Assume You Know Your Teens, Even If You're Sure You Do!

A few weeks ago, I was at a funeral for an aunt that had passed away. She was almost 90, had made me laugh with her stories and memories of being a poor Polish girl growing up in Newark, NJ. She was tough and funny and smart, and left an impression on everyone she met, from family members to the people in the line at the grocery stores to the nurses in the hospital. Her sister was devastated and inconsolable, and my cousin had asked me to watch after her and stay by her side during the whole affair, which I did gladly....more

The fear of being social.....

I was never really a social butterfly.  I had a few friends growing up, but we didn’t live out of each other’s pockets, and didn’t hang out away from school.  I am not sure when my fear of socialising, or my social anxiety, started I just remember it always being there.  I was always afraid of meeting new people, being in a large group of people who were meant to socialise, really it was and is socialising in general. ...more

Dear Me.....

Sometimes you’ll want to be alone,And you may feel down.,But I want you to read this,So you can remember,The happiness,The good times,The memories,And most of all remember who you are. Remember,The happy times we had together,When we talked,Even about unhappy times,In the end for us both these are conversation times,We could smile, andNot feel alone. Remember,This understanding with one another,That made us feel,That even with problems,...more

What I need to survive.......

WARNING:  Parts of my storey are very confronting and some may find upsetting, if you find yourself upset and depressed I encourage you to ring Lifeline on 13 11 14 or BeyondBlue on 1300 224636.  ...more