What NOT to Say to a Depressed Loved One

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21Scripture tells us that the words we speak can produce life or death. As a practicing psychologist, I find this to be true with respect to mental illness as well....more


All of us know it. The feeling of a sinking heart, blush of the cheeks and crushing embarrassment. For some of us the tendrils of this dissolute emotion of shame can morph into anger or depression, sometimes both....more

When We Can No Longer Take Charge

Ever since losing my father as a child, I’ve tried to take charge. Regardless of what the problem was I faced, I took charge to handle it. Over time I tried to handle all facets of life on my own....more

Uphill Battles

Everyone says there are ups and downs in life, that it is a constant loop of good fortune and bad luck. I guess I see that point of view, but in general I feel like life is more like a constant, uphill battle. Even during the good times and easy parts of life, there is always something we are battling with. Sometimes the battles are personal demons, sometimes they are outside forces, and sometimes it is just a battle for survival in general. Climbing the hill and fighting the fight are part of the fun of life, even when we don't realize it....more

The Sadness Behind Suicide

(Photo Compliment of Sue Schwabauer Hoeksema)...more

Allowing Grief

Each week at my favorite Al-Anon meeting, a member takes a turn to bring up a topic, usually pertaining to something going on in their own life.  This past Sunday the topic was grief.  Up until that meeting I hadn't actively thought about the word in relation to what we've been going through these past couple of months.  I've felt fear, major anxiety, anger, frustration, worry and a variety of other emotions, but grief hadn't really crossed my radar....more

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Depression: The 5 Unspeakable Truths About Depression

I laid in bed, eyes wide open, silent tears sogging my pillow and knew I had to get up to write.  It has struck again.  It.  The Darkness, The Depression, The Funk … It.  ...more
Running to Home  Hey there- So, yes and no to your last question. I've begin really seeking ...more

Expunging The Worries

Worrying is just a fact of life for me. It’s like my job, it’s what I do. Last week I even had a trip to the ER for the start of an ulcer thanks to all the worrying I do. I worry well and hard. I do my job well. I worry about everything. Will we have a home next month (even though realistically I know we will)? Will we have food? Will we have clothing for the winter? Will we be able to pay our bills (especially since I have no income) and keep the wolves at bay? Will Scott love me even when I have a few bad days in a row?...more

What to do When You Don't Know What to Do

Do you ever wonder what to do?Do you ever feel directionless?Have you ever gone through a time in your life when you didn't see a way?I have. Many times.It wasn't fun....more