We Become

Surround yourself with beauty.Surround yourself with people who make you happy.With people who build you up.Surround yourself with positivity.And you will become; Beautiful, happy, uplifting, positive.But, those of us surrounded by the constant mayhem that comes with having children?The ones who already live with the threat of depression ever on their minds?When the simple act of going to the bathroom alone leaves room for the unmitigated destruction of the rest of the house?...more

Stephanie Perkins Spills Her Inner Monologue

In a very frank post, writer Stephanie Perkins takes us through the contents of her head.  Her brain berates her, telling her that she's all alone; a worthless failure.  Even though she knows rationally that this isn't true, she explains how difficult it is to talk herself out of this monologue.  She lays bare her inner thoughts in order to let others who suffer from depression know that they're not alone.  And for that, I'm very grateful. ...more

Into the Abyss.....

She stands before the mirror,Gazing into the mystery of her own body,Years of growing, years of torment,A fight against herself,The mirror reflecting reality,But yet, she sees through herself,And into the depths of the perfect figure. The mirror before her is like a window,Which she sees through,Her beauty drains from her body,The strength dissolves into the abyss,Self destruction, dreams, and ambitions lost,Through the ugliness to being beautiful,...more

Friendship.....

We talk about friendship,As something so special,Something we keep,They say it is the happiness,The path to a wonderful future,But to me friendship,Is the pain that consumes my body,The anger that takes over me,It is the mistrust making me look over my shoulder,It is the barriers that are built,That build a wall that block my way. They say friendship,Is a special kind of love,Creating sunshine that warms the heart,People say friendship,Shows the best in people,...more

Loneliness......

The essence of my life,The character of my being,The answer to my sadness. Loneliness is so unbearable,So much agony inside,It steals from me everything I cherish. This feeling is dominant,Its a laceration to my heart,The nightmare of my life. Loneliness has taken my personality,It has taken my ability to be me,Loneliness has stolen from me, myself. It is a feeling with me all the time,It grows more every day,It is ruining who I am,...more

Moving boxes....

This weekend we move our little family into a house that will become our home.  While filled with excitement the thought of moving everything is daunting, all those moving boxes that we pack all our belongings into.  However, it will be a fresh start from the last 12 months, which has seen me hospitalised a number of times, for months at a time, undertake ECT over two months, suffer retrograde amnesia spanning a year to three years, change of medications to find the right balance, undertaking counselling, and group therapy, and trying to move from being helpless to some level of f...more

Pain and Punishment.....

"When we cling to pain, we end up punishing ourselves". Leo BuscagliaEveryone suffers pain, and hurt at different stages in their lives.  It is just apart of life.  Some of us work through the pain, and get over it, but others, like me, relive those painful moments constantly, I relive the past way to often, and never seem to get past it....more

The trepidations move onto fears.......

The days and hours are counting down until I start my daily one hour train ride to my new job that is in an area I am passionate about.  My ability to do this job, skill wise is not my concern, because I know I have the skills, and experience to do this job well....more

The trepidations move onto fears.......

The days and hours are counting down until I start my daily one hour train ride to my new job that is in an area I am passionate about.  My ability to do this job, skill wise is not my concern, because I know I have the skills, and experience to do this job well....more