Perfect Hair

I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. that night. Exhausted after a long week on the road. At 10:30 p.m. my phone rang and I ignored it. At 10:32 p.m. my phone rang again and I turned it off. At 11:00 p.m. I awoke to my husband gently shaking me and telling me I needed to get up. He’d been in another town visiting friends when he got the call. He made the two hour trip home to be sure that he was the one who broke the news. My mother had been institutionalized after an attempted suicide and would be held in the facility until someone came to claim her....more

I Am


Confessions of a Former Cutter

I never thought I would write this story. It's something I never wanted to be made public. But I've recently been thinking about my journey and decided it's time to confess to something I no longer do.I am a former cutter. I used to self-mutilate. (As I type this, my chest tightens with tension and anxiety.)...more

Flashback Friday: My Brain is Broken

Let's take a trip down memory lane to the last time I had a really bad depressive episode. It's been over a year without one and that's an extremely long time for me. I owe it all to my anti-depressant and I couldn't be happier about it. January 13, 2014 me was not happyThis past week has been a long one....more

The Middle of the Ocean

People keep asking what they can do for me. I don’t know what to tell them.When you are in the middle of a severe depressive episode, you don’t know what to ask for....more
Tired of swimming too.  Thanks for writing this.  It's perfectmore

Worry Dolls

I remember being younger and starting to struggle with my feelings.I was a preteen. I was on the brink of puberty and my hormones were at war inside of my body.I would creep into my local “holistic healing” store with my mother and buy all sorts of things that she thought would help with my attitude, because that’s what it was at the time. I had a severe attittude problem. I would lash out, scream, cry, say terrible things to my parents. When I got overly frustrated with myself, I would hit myself on the head, or hit my head against a wall. Over and over and over again....more

Relating to the Dual Identities, Emotions and Hidden Strengths of Spock

Thinking about Leonard Nimoy's death, I realize that his best-known character, Spock, had a great impact on my life. Star Trek was on every day after school, and my parents would let us (three daughters) watch it, and that alone was kind of formative — Star Trek's Japanese-American character, Sulu, was one of the few images in pop culture of people who looked like us. Women were smart, capable and sometimes even in charge. The ship’s crew was probably as diverse as TV would get. ...more

Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife

mikefoster / Pixabay <...more

Surviving the Winter Blues

Seasonal depression is a real thing, and it affects a surprisingly large number of people in the colder regions. If you happen to live in one of these regions, you understand. You’re cooped up inside all the time, with the exception of the walk from the door to the car. It’s dark when you wake up in the morning and dark when you leave work in the evening. Heck, you might go days at a time without being in direct sunlight! Just taking the garbage out or letting the dog out is a chore because of how long it takes to get bundled up in all your winter gear....more

My Feet Carry Me - Running Through Depression

For much of my adulthood, I have been a runner. For years, I belonged to a training group. I had a coach. There were paces, distances, track workouts, hill repeats, races. I distracted myself from the physical pain that comes with this level of training so that I could just do the work I needed to do and run faster or longer or whatever the end goal was....more