The Rise and the Fall

Christmas is coming.  You know this.  I know this.  Except the wrinkle:  divorce pending.  Of course it is -- it stays "pending". This year?  I split time with my kids.This year?  I have less to do with gifts.This year?  My plan is different.This year?  I have ups and downs.This year?  I have to let some stuff go.This year?  Please end. There are many rises and falls in my life.   Could be every day.  Could be every week.  Could be a slower rolling.UpandDown...more

Interview with a Divorcee

Marriage (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.[1] The definition of marriage varies from culture to culture, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships are acknowledged....more

Blazed the Trail Before Her?

In Each Day a New Cup, I referred to a conversation I had with a fellow mom at the club a few days ago.  Going through a divorce, she commented that she is hopeful, because of people like me, who have blazed the trail before her. I thought a lot about our conversation and her perception of how things have evolved for me, and I want to share some things in my life that made the difference of where I am, versus where I could be....more

Chicken

I think I might have figured out this divorce business.  It’s basically a game of Chicken.Two people.  Barreling right at each other.  At a top speed.  Staring straight ahead.Hoping? The other one yanks the wheel and caves.A high dollar, physically draining, long game of chicken.Now, I’m not so good at chicken.  I’m not a gambler.  I’m a rule follower.  I’m the one that yanks the wheel in chicken.  Historically.But this one?  This Super Sonic Giant Bad Ass Game of Chicken?...more

Facing the Facts

Divorce? Can We Keep That Under Wraps Until After Christmas?

What to do, what to do? Over the past few years, my husband and I, like many couples, have had to navigate some tricky family situations. Deaths and divorces and drug abuse and infidelity might be commonplace in our country but, when these issues are impacting immediate family members, they take on a different significance. When you have small children who really need a few more years to be sheltered from the darker side of life, it can be hard to support your family members and also protect your children at the same time....more

I Wish

Not much of a wisher.  Or a dreamer.Much more of a realist.  The “no-shitter” sort, you know?  Straight forward.Wishes?  Crap.But lately?  I ‘might’ have a glimmer of a wish.  A tiny sparkle of a wish.  A little sliver, really.My wish?...more

My Challenge to Huffington Post: Make Marriage More Important

On the eve of my 3 year wedding anniversary, I wrote an article on my blog detailing my thoughts on marriage thus far. It occurred to me that others might find it useful and that it would be a good fit for the “marriage” section of Huffington Post. Only there isn’t a section for marriage on Huff Post....more

My Challenge to Huffington Post: Make Marriage More Important

On the eve of my 3 year wedding anniversary, I wrote an article on my blog detailing my thoughts on marriage thus far. It occurred to me that others might find it useful and that it would be a good fit for the “marriage” section of Huffington Post. Only there isn’t a section for marriage on Huff Post....more

I cried on my wedding day. And not why you think.

In the middle of a divorce.  Nasty.  Ugly.  Foul.  Divorce.I've been reflecting I guess.  Trying to figure it out.  Trying to review these 16 years of marriage.   Carving out a new life.And I remembered:  I cried on my wedding day.I bawled.  Seriously.  BAWLED.  I don't think he even knows why.  Hell, I'm not even sure he remembers, now that I think about it.I cried.  Hard.  Not because I was happy.  Not because I was sad.  Not because I was nervous....more