I Don't Need Sex (Anymore)

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let me be clear. I LOVE sex and I WANT sex.So, if you opened this post to see why I don’t like sex then I'm sorry!I don’t NEED sex… anymore.So, what do I mean by need vs. want, especially when it comes to sex?I used to think that I didn’t need sex and that it was always on a want basis. It wasn’t until I was in my first serious relationship, after my divorce, that I realized how needy I was....more

Get Confidence Fast With These Simple Tricks

Your self-esteem can take a beating during divorce. You feel depressed and disappointed. You find fault with everything about yourself....more

HELP: I'm a kid stuck in a grown up's body, and my parents are getting a divorce

When my parents first told me they were divorcing we talked about it like it was an upcoming vacation. “Oh yeah, I’ve heard others say that it’s nice out there. And you’re going for how long? That’ll be great for you both. Am I upset? No of course not. I mean it would have been nice while we were kids but now that I’m an adult I can totally handle it. No problem. I mean, do you need help with anything? I can feed your dog while you’re gone? Sure, of course.” And that was that. They took off and never came back. The dog is sitting by my feet....more

Should I Stay or Should I Go? 16 Questions to Help You Decide if it is Time to Leave Your Marriage

I used to be a master of distraction (weight loss was my favourite diversion) so it took me a long to realise my marriage had disintegrated while I hadn't been paying attention. I remember sitting in front of the computer late one night Googling "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"I wanted a check list, or a quiz or even a free psychic reading to tell me what to do....more

An Ex-Husband and a Dog

I ran into my friend Carol the other day in the park. She had celebrated her 60th birthday by filing for divorce after years of marital unhappiness. First, she had waited for the children to grow up. Then she waited for the grandchildren. Then it was fear of being alone, fear of not knowing how to manage her finances, fear of winding up a bag lady, and lots of other fears which she’s now uncovering in her weekly psychotherapy group....more

Consulting a Lawyer Before Divorce

 It can feel intimidating to talk to a lawyer. I’ve learned the hard way that if your lawyer can’t explain things to you as if you are a smart 14-year-old, you should find a lawyer who can. A lawyer is supposed to make your life easier, not more stressful....more

Hope and Bravery and Beginning Again

Once upon a time, when we were newly arrived in North Carolina by way of two years in Alaska, I was frustrated and stressed and we were out of money.See, when we left Alaska, I resolved to myself that I would no longer teach. Teaching was something that didn't bring me joy. It brought stress and frustration, but it also brought money that was much needed.And so, when we got to NC, I didn't apply for teaching jobs. I subbed, but my focus was elsewhere - I was looking for something else....more

The Two of Us

When I saw today's writing prompt from NaBloPoMo, my initial response to the question of whether I write only for myself or to connect with others was that I do it for the next woman. I couldn't sit down to actually start writing until just now so I had some time to really think about that thing. I came to the conclusion that I do what I do for the two of us. It's for her and for me.Writing to Release...more

How to Handle Father's Day With Your Kids After Your Divorce

We are in the middle of a not-so-easy-or-nice divorce, but I'll be buying my ex-husband a Father's Day gift this year. And here's why....more
I truly thought about being a big ol B and not helping her do anything but I would only teach ...more

Hey divorced loser, should you go to your high school reunion?

Hey divorced loser, should you go to your high school reunion?In the airport, just back from my high school reunion. At first, I was too afraid to attend. What kind of judgement would I find? I envisioned everyone else’s perfect life and how much crappier mine looked in comparison.Do I dare go back home when my life was in the midst of all this ending of a marriage chaos? Would I be the only kinda-divorced-kinda-single person, surrounded by classmates with doting spouses and neat tidy lives?...more