Day 4: The Grief Process: Finding Our Way & Thriving in the Desert

Inspirational Thought of the Day:The secret of the desert is to not look at all the pain around us, but to look to the One Who made the desert.Scriptures of the Day:Job 17:15“Where then is my hope – who can see any hope for me?”Romans 15:13...more

Magical thinking never works. Also: I hate cancer.

It’s probably because I watch too much Grey’s Anatomy, but I’m always so stupidly hopeful in the face of grave illness. I naively trust in Western medicine. And homeopathic remedies. And the power prayers and positive thinking. And I just hope. Because sometimes people do get better. Sometimes miracles happen.And so many times–several in the last month, including today–I’m surprised and irrationally disappointed to know that sometimes (often times?) miracles don’t happen. And magical thinking and hope do nothing more than hurt extra....more

Learning to Let Go is the Hardest Thing to Do

This month I talk about GRIEVING and how it is an important part of letting go and moving on.Grieving...more

Grief Doesn't Go Away

You just get used to it.It is 2 years today that my mom passed away and I'm still waiting for it to get better.For it, whatever it is, to feel better inside.Yes, life goes on. It has to. I have to go on but the pain and sadness is the same.The images in my mind have not faded. Those last moments, have not faded.But life goes on.I've heard over the years that with certain loved ones, there is not a day that goes by without a thought or memory of them.It is so true.I remember upon waking and when going to sleep.Every....more

Let's Bury "At Least" with Our Dead

"At least he was probably unconscious when he drowned.""At least you have another child.""At least you have your husband, you can grieve together.""At least he had a faith life.""At least it was quick.""At least you will see him again at the resurrection."...more

How a season of cancer loss can still be bountiful

I’m interviewing for a new position as foreman of an Idaho ranch. Driving the all-terrain utility Gator was part of the interview process. Riding the range. This is what I was born to do.  ...more

On seeing the ending

Losing someone and getting hit by a truck must be the same thing. It's worse than anything I've ever imagined, and I've been practicing for a tragedy my whole life. Every single thing you do you have to do for the first time knowing you will face an absence that can not be distracted. Every time is like getting hit in the chest. Some days I'm just not brave enough to get hit again. In the car I blast rave music as loud as I can, begging my ears to ring and the rear view mirror to rattle. I pretend to say hello to dogs I meet and I know they can see through me....more

"You're Strangling Me"

This story has been in the writing for a year. I tried getting it out in different classes, but it took the feminine genius of Cigdem and Jena of The Inky Path to create the safe place to write from the heart. And now I have the courage to share my journey. If you have a story – and we all do – write it. If folks don’t get it, that is not on you. Write for you, write your heart out. “You’re strangling me.”“Not now, please not now” I begged the bewildered voice in my head....more

make her cry

Tina's desk is gone now. She cleared its drawers at the end of June, shredding old documents and passing off files to me. IT came the following week to remove her computer and its peripherals. Not long after, facilities hauled away her vacant desk and chair leaving behind a rectangle of unfaded carpet. I now have the office space I shared with her for five years all to myself....more

Dear Bill | A Letter To A Man I've Never Met

I read this post at the Listen To Your Mother Open Mic at #BlogHer16 after the #VOTY presentation and reception. I originally posted it on on June 18, 2016.Dear Bill,...more