With This Ring

Image courtesy of Metropolitan Museum of Art ...more

Sometimes I Cry, My Mother's Day Reality

Mother's Day will have new meaning for me and my sister for the rest of our lives.Taken way too soon by breast cancer, my mom was an amazing strong wise woman.Read more......more

Fade to Black: Death After Dementia

  It seems very wrong to write a eulogy for someone who is still alive. That's what I've been doing today. But instead of putting my scattered ideas onto paper, I'm writing this. It's one thing to eulogize in your head and another thing entirely to commit those thoughts to sentences and paragraphs....more

Anniversary Grief & Walking Through It

Did you know that “anniversary grief” is a realand common occurrence in the lives ofthose touched by the loss of a close loved one? It’s true. When I worked in healthcare, there was even a section for it in psychosocial assessments. I learned first by watching for the signs in patients. Later, I learned by my own experience....more

Turning Into the Skid

Lately it seems that things have been a little out of control. A little off kilter.There has been sudden illness, a death in the family, childhood sickness that got a little scary and frustrating and some sensitive, flared tempers. Not to mention the severe cabin fever going on due the damn Polar Vortex that has hit the Midwest. Ironic, because when I think of the word 'vortex', all I can think of is something that sucks. And that's exactly what 2014 has done so far. Sucked....more

When Families Evolve: What Happens When We Lose Our Matriarchs?

This holiday morning, I read one of those "Dear Dad" Facebook posts from a son missing his dad on this holiday. Easter was always very important to his dad, and he passed away this year, so the pain is fresh and his absence palpable. We often see such posts because, of course, families around the globe gather at holidays. Our mothers, especially, play huge roles in uniting us. The thought makes me wonder, what happens to families that lose the matriarchs and patriarchs who brought those families together? ...more

Advice to Couples From a Widow

I used to fantasize sometimes about what it would be like if Dane and I got a divorce. I thought that might just be the best deal ever; I still get my fabulous kid, but I also get a break from her and get some time where I wouldn’t have to care for anyone but myself. I wouldn’t have to rely on someone who I felt was unreliable. I wouldn’t have to share decision-making or, more often, make all of the important decisions by myself....more

Evolution of the Heart

The grieving process; its like trying to make water do what you want it to. It's all over the place is it's liquid state. Like an ocean wave or a babbling brook, we can look at it, touch it, but in the end, it all just seem to run through our fingers when we try to make it do what we want it to do. Grief and Water; The fascinating thing about them both is their miraculous ability to change forms. Some times through the changes, beautiful ice sculptures or amazing cloud formations are born....more

Existing in a World My Dad Doesn’t

Fourteen years ago today my daddy died. The years go by but the story remains the same....more
Another Housewife melaflin  6 months today......hard so hard.  thank you for writing.more

On Love and Loss: Hearts on a String

"She says it's important," my husband said, pushing the phone towards me."It's not important," I said, sidestepping my daughter, trying to reach the wall, hammer and nail in hand."She said to put you on the phone," he urged.I took the phone from his outstretched hand."What is it?" I said, peppered with the frustration of my daughter shrieking in the background."Gram passed away today," she said, emotionless."Oh. Okay. Wait - What?" I asked incredulously. My husband and daughter had left the room....more