A Story of Loss and Hope

When I was fifteen years old, my dad got sick. All of a sudden he was feeling terrible with a sinus infection that wouldn’t go away, and he was vomiting. They admitted him to the hospital for some tests. Those days are sort of a blur, I think that my mind has blocked a lot of it out to protect me, but I do remember some things. They tested him for tuberculosis, which came back negative. Then, cat scratch fever. I remember coming home from the hospital one day after running the tests for cat scratch fever, but before we got the results....more

World Autism Awareness (or Acceptance) Day: Hope and More Hope for Autism Parents Like Me

Every time I hear Coldplay's song "Clocks," I cry. It's a conditioned reaction; a rocket back to 2003, when "Clocks" was ever-present on the radio, my son had just been diagnosed with autism, and all anyone would tell me was that my life was going to be a shitstorm of misery—and so was his. I cry when I hear "Clocks" because I'm instantly wracked with that phantom hopelessness and depression. I cry because the system that was supposed to support and protect my son looked at us quizzically and shrugged....more
Shannon Des Roches Rosa your blog entry from 11/14/13 appeared in my FB feed that day. I was ...more

Hearts with two homes, or homeless by heart. . .

Beyond the pain of loss, there is hope; the man we no longer want as a husband is and always will be the man our daughters love and need as a father. Past the cruelty, intimidation, and ridicule of what was a marriage, is now a life for them !  Happy to be a mom of three, hopeful and insightful, and aware - wanting my girls to be filled with joy for all the promise their young lives hold...more


The past two days..but yesterday specifically was the first time since December that I had hope... ....hope that the snow in our backyard would finally melt ....hope that I won't have to keep my faucets on a constant drip at night to prevent the pipes from freezing ....hope that the girls will get to breathe in more fresh air than just what we get from the car to the door ....hope that this soul-crushing winter will end someday.......more

In Like a Lion: Rebirth, Revitalization, Hope

Well, here we are, the first of March, and I am in my annual armpit of winter funk....more
Linda Anselmi Thank you! And for now I say yay to dandelions - and more to come!more

Hope is a Four Letter Word

 Last night I drove an hour and a half, straight from work - in traffic, to pick up Hugo from the boarder. We had to board Hugo for the last week and a half because unfortunately the newest edition to our family, came in heat. At first, Hugo was doing fine, it didn't seem to bother him. But suddenly, around a week and a half ago, he just couldn't stand it....more

My Mental Flashes of Fear and Hope

I just thought to myself, “It’s the start of a new year, maybe I should write one blog post every day for all of 2014.” But then (and this is going to sound a little crazy) I had this flash of the future where I imagined not finishing the challenge because I had died… my health is a constant source of worry and I think that’s normal for someone with stage 4 cancer, but the fact that my mind jumps straight to death is unnerving....more


December 22, Mt. 1:18-24...more

Glaucoma, cure, what?! A glimmer of hope

My eldest daughter, who is currently 7 years old, was diagnosed with congenital glaucoma in February of last year. It was devastating and utterly shocking news, on the back of merely four months after starting to file for divorce (after a long and difficult road of attempting to stay in a marriage that was attached to an inevitable, sinking ship) and just four months after delivering twins into the world, to be told not only that my daughter had congenital glaucoma but that the pressure level in each eye was dangerously high....more

Heartbroken Holidays

I should be in bed by ten.  I should be at the gym.  I should be more optimistic, use more restraint, and quit drinking full-calorie beer.  I have got to cut out the word “I” and perhaps not sit on the floor crying when my three-year-old tells me I’m the worst person ever while sitting in time-out attempting to slam the door closed with his feet. When I walk out of church because my two kids can’t keep their seats and I glance over to see my daughter humming whilst making a stack of hymnals......more
I try to get outside as much as possible when I am low, because you're right -- there is such ...more