How New Years Resolutions Are Like Mammograms and Other Profound Observations

So I did some math this morning. Don't worry; I didn't sprain my brain too badly. I got out the ol' abacus AKA my fingers and determined that since it is now 2015 and I graduated from high school at the age of 18 in 2000, I have now been an adult for 15 years.Fifteen years. That's like a quarter of the shelf life of a box of Twinkies. My life and Twinkies are passing by before my very eyes....more

10 Things I've Learned In My One Month Of Marriage

Today marks exactly ONE month of being a married woman! Here are ten things I've learned so far. 1. Laugh at your differencesLike I've told you before, my husband is 100% introvert and I am 100% extrovert. (For the love, if you don't know what this means please google it.) That being said, we have many.. many... MANY differences, on top of being two totally different genders! One thing I've learned in being married to the guy, is that we have got to laugh off our differences....more

Things Brown Moms Say

There are some things that are just genetically embedded into you. You can't avoid them no matter what. I was born and raised in Canada, I have adapted things from both Pakistani culture and Canadian culture. Things I felt would create a good balance for my family, but there are some things just so automated I can't control. Like the typical brown mom inside me. I can hear her when I rant at the offspring....more

Christmas Trees, Hookers, and One Creepy Elf

It’s Christmas time. The house is decorated, but we still need a tree.It is late Sunday afternoon and my first challenge is to wake my daughter, who has managed to fall asleep sitting up on the couch. I picked up her snoozing body, she nestles her head in my shoulder as I carry her out to the car. Ava bounces behind, excited and ready to get a tree....more

The tween scene.

The term "tween"...you've heard it, yes?  A word used describe a kid between 10 and their teens.  In between a kid and a teenager.  Tween.  It sounds almost cute.  I see it all over Pinterest.  "Tween hairstyles",   "Tween fashions",   "Tween bedroom makeovers".    What you don't see is "How to get the demons out of your tween", or "How to ground a tween so hard they'll never see daylight again"....more

My Time With Tina Fey

Have you ever thought you were destined for something? Do you possess unconfirmed, yet irrefutable knowledge that a certain existence is meant for you?Me, too.Through all the iterations of life, I’ve never shaken the idea that I’m meant to be BFF’s with a celebrity. And when it happens, it’ll be so organic—and that’s why it’ll work....more

3 Ways I Might Die

If any of the following incidents serve as foreshadowing, I might be in for an unfortunate, untimely demise. I’d rather die when I’m around 90, from a battle of wits gone awry, but it’s out of my hands.Here are a few reasons why I could probably die in a mortifying way....more

The Intruder: How I Handled a Disgusting Cockroach in my Apartment Last Night

You guys.  I have to tell you about my night.  It is currently 10:42pm and I am sitting at my kitchen table; the exact spot I was sitting in at approximately 9:30pm when I first saw it.I’ll start from the beginning....more

I'm a Three Decker Sauerkraut and Toadstool Sandwich... With Arsenic Sauce

Merry Grinchmas, Bookworms!...more