Why Does Everything Seem to Break At Once?

It’s a conspiracy.  That’s the only explanation I can come up with. Here’s my theory: Late at night, while everyone’s asleep, the household appliances and anything not covered under the home warranty, all start talking. “Psst, hey, Mac. Yeah, it’s me, ol’ HP. Oh, don’t act like you can’t hear me. You think you’re all that just because you’re some fancy schmancy computer and they had to put you on a layaway plan in order to bring you home and with me, heck, I get replaced every two years. We printers get no respect. Anyhows, whaddya think about messin’ with the folks who live here?...more

Your Toddler Doesn't Care If You're on Your Period

  Of all the character traits that don’t serve me well as a parent, my reluctance to take myself less seriously is probably the worst....more
IAMTHEMILK Blog Awwww, thank you! I am so bad about telling C to "respect" me too, and this is ...more

Let Them Eat Cake

Cake is our worldwide marker of celebration.  There is no joyous day of celebrating that does not entail frosting-coated happiness.  A birthday without a cake is just a sad day of aging.  A wedding without a cake is just a wasted fancy gathering.  But friends, there are other occasions that should be celebrated with this diabetic nightmare.  We are not using this treat to it’s full potential.  Here are just a few of the OTHER occasions that we should be celebrating with cake....more

Ode to Husbands

Do Scented Markers Make Sense?

Not sure I understand the rationale behind the scented marker.Were the marker manufacturers just hanging out in the boardroom one afternoon and then one of them says, "So, we got this product, it's for kids and it's not edible. How can we make it more appealing?"And another one say, "I know! Let's make them smell like delicious foods like lemons and strawberries and chocolate. That will ensure that kids will - try and eat them!"And everyone says, "Brilliant!"Not a parent in that room, I can tell you that....more

Thank You Notes: An Overhaul

My friend Tim over at That Tiny Website (who, incidentally, is awesome–you should check out his blog) had an awesome idea which HE stole from Jimmy Fallon of writing Thank You notes to various people and things in order to convey humor. This is especially awesome as it illustrates further how totally useless and wasteful actual Thank You notes are.  ...more

Never a Dull Day at the Gyno

Well I had my annual lady-parts checkup today and like most of my should-be mundane experiences, this one didn’t disappoint with somehow managing to turn into a share-worthy story....more

What movies taught me about love

Are you ready? It’s almost here. That glowing beacon in the middle of gloomy February, the holiday that originally honored a Christian martyr and has morphed into a celebration of lingerie, roses, and chocolate....more

My Things to Do List

 My friends make fun of me. My husband makes fun of me.Do you know why?Because I make a “Things To Do” list.ALL THE TIME....more