Lil' Ballers

HILARIOUS! oh - too funny. My son also goes to bball practice (or he's been a couple times) and ...more

Cheap(ish) Family Fun Night

I happened to have a day off from both of my jobs, on a Friday nonetheless, and decided it was time for some family fun. I asked the kids what they wanted to do, and my daughter comes up with going to see a movie....more

The Last Laugh

Okay, so I gained a pound or two in 2011.   So what?!  Lots of people did.   Does that make me a bad person?...more

The Emperor's New Fabric of Space and Time, and Other Pet Peeves

For a writer, I have a really adversarial relationship with metaphors. Let me give you some examples of what I mean. Case #1: When, in 2007 and 2008, our country's financial system suffered a sudden seizure, and everyone's house was abruptly and magically worth much less than it was before, I became very annoyed by the conversation about bubbles. I am the mother of three boys, all of whom were at one time toddlers and, as a result, I am very, very familiar with bubbles. Here is what I know: ...more

The Long Hair Cold War

Does your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend love long hair. Do you want to cut your hair off but are concerned that your significant other will wither up and die from disappointment? Trimming your tresses will prompt his soul to shatter into a thousand little hair sized shards on the salon floor?Well ladies (and gents, if that's how you roll) I have been staging a cold war against R on this for a while now and I am willing to share my battle plans and tactics for I think that I am finally breaking him. Oh, he'll deny it, but how much more can he really take?...more

Have I Got a Deal for You?

As my mom neared the front of the supermarket checkout line, the man behind her noticed that she had a package of over the counter stomach medicine in her cart. “Excuse me?” he asked, getting her attention.  “How much do they charge for those?” ...more
I know... How crazy is it...I don't think she thought of reporting him (I know I didn't when she ...more

What's Wrong with Bert?

My husband is the kind of consumer that companies hate. He buys what's on sale - without any brand loyalty. The last several boxes of diapers he's brought home have featured characters from Sesame Street. I believe I have complained in the past about how it's practically impossible to find a diaper that doesn't feature some licensed character on it. I also believe I have suggested my excellent idea for no-name diapers which, instead of Dora the Explorer, have the words FRONT and BACK emblazoned on them....more

It's a Tan Thing

You know how some people seem to just be really lucky? Like everything goes their way and works out for them and they look really cute all the time and everyone in the world likes them and wants to be their friend and they usually happen to also be really creative and smart? I know. Those people drive me nuts, too. Anyway, I'm so not one of those people. I feel lucky about some things, I guess--the important things like family and work. But when it comes to the random things in life, I can be really unlucky. Here's a great example. I don't like tanning....more

Round Ireland with a Fridge

"A completely purpose-less idea, but a damn fine one" perfectly describes the premise of Round Ireland with a Fridge by Tony Hawks. It's the true story of a failing English comedian's quirky mid life crisis. ...more

10, 9, 8, oh crap

I’ve got about 10 minutes to post in order to beat the NaBloPoMo deadline.  Will I make it!?I can’t think of a topic.  (Hence why I took so long.)tick….9I post to twitter.  “Someone save me!”  Kristen throws me a life line…”Do a tick tock theme.”  (Someone remind me to buy some of her cookies or something.)tock….8...more