LIES the 1970s Told US

It seems to me, that in Life, a person should be able to count on a few things to be true: your mother and the deliciousness of a chocolate croissant. Other then that, all bets are off. The problem is that we all get caught-up in the mind-numbing illogic of rumors, advertising, old wives tales, people we want to impress, love, hatred, apathy… google search results. You get my drift. ...more

I Enjoy Being a Girl...I Swear

 Women are amazing, aren’t they?  I am continuously awestruck and inspired by so many of the greats: ones I know, ones I don’t, and ones named Beyoncé.  Right, B?  Who run the world? ...more

This Fairy Godmother Seems to Have Lost Her Wand

Growing up, my only vision of godmothers was of the fairy tale type, of kind older women who spoke with a ringing lilt and carried a magic wand.  Disney shaped my view of what it meant to be a godmother, the duties that the title carried, namely making wishes come true and creating ball gowns from rags. They had other-worldly powers which I guess was why I never had a godmother, because in my world, godmothers only existed on the big screen....more
farnamkid  I'm glad I'm not alone in my confusion and glad you never had to find out. Since ...more

Dorks will be offended by this post. Consider yourselves warned.

The other day, while out for coffee, my friend uttered a sentence that should never have been uttered.“Ooh! The new Hobbit movie is coming out on DVD!”I think the look I shot her was akin to the following:Um… What?Just… NO.What about my personality suggests I would have any interest what-so-ever in the new Hobbit movie?...more

Help Me Help You

First, the good news: Two of the biggest trouble makers most challenging students were absent today. ABSENT. I may have grinned a bit more widely than I should have upon receiving that news.The bad news: It was Friday. And despite the fact that they are now in the 3rd quarter, most of the students still have yet to reach the emotional maturity of a 1st grader.Which makes my life… really, really hard....more

Exercise my Demons

Oh, Mandelynn...http//

Who Mailed My Mom A Dick Pic?

Dick pics often happen when you least expect them. You’re scrolling through your Tumblr feed and out of the blue there’s a pretty graphic, (fan-drawn) money shot of fictional characters getting it on across your screen, likely when there’s a nun or your boss walking behind you....more
CassInTheAttic Funny, yet--terrifying!more

Retirement Seems Like a Whole Lotta Work

I was never one of those little girls who dreamed of my wedding day, who cut out pictures from magazines and scribbled ideas in my diary. There would be a wedding and then there would be children. A boy and then a girl. That much I knew with certainty. The hows and wheres were always a bit vague. But as fuzzy as those details were, the post-wedding, post-raising-of-the-children years appear to be fuzzier still....more

Would You Spend a Week in a Beach House With Another Family?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,A good friend of mine asked me if my family would like to rent a house with her family this summer. (She's already making plans for June. Very Type-A.) ...more
Great advice.  My family owns (read: my grandma died and left it to like 10 aunts, uncles and ...more

The Case of the Missing Binky

Ever lost something you KNOW you just saw recently?Of course you have. We all do it. It's usually your keys or your glasses. Or maybe your wedding ring. Hopefully not, though.But you always find it! It's always in that superspecial, safe, "smart" spot you wanted to try out, because it made such perfect sense at the time, that you knew you'd always remember.And then you forget.Well, this isn't one of those times....more