I Think They Told Me

Here is installment 4 of "Once More With Feeling", my story about a woman facing her husband's infidelity.)I Think They Told Me This is sick.  I can’t turn my mind off from trying to replay our lives over the last year.  Events and the uneventful, it all matters.  Every moment has become crucial, critical.   What am I searching for exactly? I’m obsessed, literally, with remembering anything that might have been a clue to what was going on between Geoff and this woman.  Again, why is this important?...more

My (Almost-Tragic) Hail Story

This is a scene from last Monday. Hubs and I are giddy. It is 88', and humid, the kind of humid you complain about in June, July, and August, but in May, it is all good, baby, in fact it is down right sublime. "Give me more of this stuff!" I yell out at the edge of the deck--I am perched there, reveling in the sensation of sweat--and the words fly back at me atop hot, fat wind. See, along with the humidity, the 7:00 night is cooking up a whole mix of tight, angry air....more

Our Journey

I woke up this morning with you on my mind. You’re always on my mind, but today was sublime…I was thinking about our future together and when that would start. When you would have all of me, and not just my heart. It’s tiring living life as we do. I go day to day without seeing you....more

Walking on Egg Shells

I’m sometimes walking on egg shells with you. I feel like I can’t do anything right.  If I have an emotionless tone, you think I’m mad and have an attitude. If I have an excited and sweet tone, you think I’m talking like a baby. I feel like I can’t win with you—it’s exhausting! You pay so close attention to every slight nuance of my voice. If anything sounds even slightly off, you pick up on it. I don’t want to complain too much, because at least you are paying attention to me, but I just feel constrained. ...more

Real Men Face Their Mortality

The following is an excerpt from the special chapter for husbands in my book "Don't Worry about a Thing, Dear"- Why Women Need Financial Intimacy. If your husband reads nothing else in the book, he needs to read the following:...more

Am I Being Irrational or Reasonable?

Sometimes I act crazy, but I cannot stop myself from acting that way. I feel myself being irrational and acting unfairly, but I cannot control those feelings and actions. I get so frustrated with him over things that I would not care about if other people did the same thing.  I probably treat him unfairly, but I’m not sure if it’s unreasonable. If he is going to be my future husband, then shouldn’t I have higher expectations for him? Or since he is going to be my future husband, should I give him the benefit of the doubt more often? ...more

Loving Him for Him

I expect too much from him—he is only human....more

He Heard Me

Relationships are give and take, but what if no one is giving or taking? What happens when neither person is adding anything to the relationship, but also not taking anything away? When the give and take is gone, does that mean the passion is gone?Is it okay to be in a passionless relationship?  Is lack of passion better than lack of turmoil? Or is the turmoil a signal of engagement in the relationship? ...more

Does Every Rollercoaster Have to Drop?

Up, down, up down—I’m getting sick. I feel like I’m on a ride that I can’t get off of. It’s like we go as high as we can emotionally and then come rushing back down. Is it possible to have a steady pace of high emotions or are humans just equipped to crave the drops? ...more

The Sun Is Shining

The sun is shining… You finally got it—you were finally able to see and understand what was needed to make our relationship bloom. You were finally able to see that time, energy and effort must go into the relationship in order for the relationship to bear fruits of love, joy and hope. But in order for you to give time to the relationship, you needed time. You needed time to understand that long-distance didn’t mean long times of no communication. The distance should be a product of our physical proximity, not our emotional immediacy....more