Coping and Thriving with Loss during the Holidays

This is my favorite time of year – autumn colors with nearby mountains cloaked in winter white; gaggles of geese discussing where to winter; aroma of Pumpkin Spice candles; knitting scarves for people I love; breaking trail in snowshoes. And in between all this winter fun and beauty – family and friends gathering, and giving thanks, and eating way too much pie, and lighting menorahs, and decking the halls, and welcoming in a New Year....more

How a season of cancer loss can still be bountiful

I’m interviewing for a new position as foreman of an Idaho ranch. Driving the all-terrain utility Gator was part of the interview process. Riding the range. This is what I was born to do.  ...more

Why I Won't Hide My Loss To Make You Feel Better.

 "Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life". -Anne Roiphe   Do you ever go through life wondering why some people just seem to have targets on their backs for profound loss?  Yes, everyone loses something, someone, sometimes. We all experience it at some point. ...more

Dear Bill | A Letter To A Man I've Never Met

I read this post at the Listen To Your Mother Open Mic at #BlogHer16 after the #VOTY presentation and reception. I originally posted it on theoliveshoe.com on June 18, 2016.Dear Bill,...more

Being Fatherless On Father's Day

Despite being a predictable yearly event, Father’s Day tends to sneak up on me every June. As I study the calendar, there’s usually a resounding, “Oh.. that’s THIS WEEK??”, followed by a flurry of preparations to celebrate my husband.I’m happy to put in this effort, but in the midst of the gift selection and the search for the perfect card, there is always a moment. A twinge. A pang. It’s brief, but it’s a soft shadow that dissipates slowly....more

Memory & Loss

​When English-speaking students first learn proper sentence structure, they are taught to express time in past or present or future tense....more

Unsent love letter

Before Hubby and I were a couple, we wrote a years’ worth of letters back and forth between Denver and Europe. When I packed to return home, I left his letters behind. Weight limits on luggage.I would give anything to have those letters back.  ...more

How to make something of your everyday life after loss

Pay attention to what doors are opening for you on this new journey that maybe you didn’t want to take but you’re there nevertheless and so why not make something beautiful and purposeful out of the loss and the sorrow — that journey.I recently pulled a book off the bookshelf, one I had read before — Stir: My Broken Brain and the Meals that Brought Me Home by Jessica Fechtor....more

The Day My Dad Died

I awoke to swollen eyes. Lids so tight. Like a pressure cooker on high. Blinking took less effort. Eyes were barely open. Sinuses full with equal pressure. My heart feeling as heavy as anvil. I miss him.That was a lot of tears. The sad heavy kind. The kind that flow with no control, a deep ache within. Arms extended to receive a hug that isn’t there....more

6 Tips for Sharing Bad News With Your Kids

There are plenty of unpleasant things we have to do as parents: wipe runny noses, clean bottoms, guide our kids through adolescence ... The list is long. What we don’t consider to be on that list — or at least I didn’t — was having to tell our children bad news. From the death of a loved one to a school shooting to a terrorist bombing, modern parenting includes almost a guarantee that, at some point, we’re going to be breaking bad news to our children, well before they should have to hear it. ...more
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