Creating Emotional Intimacy -- It's All in the Little Things

As a marriage and family therapist, I frequently hear couples complain that their partner is unresponsive to their needs or  “is never there for them.” Sometimes a partner expresses feeling invisible or unimportant and that he or she is always at the bottom of the priority list. The partner who is being asked to be more responsive is often at a loss for what to do differently....more

A Wedding in the Family

My nephew Matthias is marrying his fiancée Kat tomorrow.Whoa!Where did time go?I was twenty-eight when Matt was born.We have been through”zoomie cars”, stray cats, the family, school, the shore, my cancers,the National Weather Service, Atlantic City train trips,college acceptance….and now, a wedding.Hell, it’s only a nephew:he’s not even my son, although we always were close.I wish the two of them all the love and patience they need for a happy and long marriage, and above all, may they never feel, as my late father-in-law used to quote:...more

100% In or Out

Around a year ago, I was in a dark place. I wasn't happy on any kind of consistent basis. My marriage was struggling, with what felt like more downs than ups. I was having a tough time connecting with my kids, with some days feeling good and others feeling tedious and impossible. ...more

To all the stupid lazy husbands who can't figure out Mother's Day

I planned my own Mother's Day this year. Weeks in advance, I told my husband all the crap I do each day, and that my Mother's Day wish was for him to handle all that crap for one whole day....more

Weekend Off

Thanks to the fine quality of service Comcast delivers, I couldn’t blog yesterday due to “Circumstances beyond our control”…Argh!Jim’s surprise party went off without a hitch on Saturday and I think it was safe to say a good time was had by all.The food was fabulous, and I had gotten the party trays from Jim’s employer, T&F deli. The trays were really impressive....more

Note To Self: My Husband Is Not The Patriarchy

I'm angry. Right now.This isn't just any run-of-the-mill anger. It's the kind of seething anger that pops up every now and then without notice.It's anger without a reason.This might sound crazy, but I'll be perfectly happy one minute -- and then ten minutes later I'm fuming. It literally comes from no where. There's typically nothing that predicates it. It just happens.I try to get rid of it -- try to step away for a moment and breathe. The anger doesn't happen all the time. But it happens enough. And I become bitter and resentful for an entire evening....more
Shortly after our son was born, I started to feel this sense of angry injustice towards my ex. ...more

With a Pause in the Action....

Took advantage of our company and kept busy throwing a small birthday party for Jim and our brother-in-law on Sunday with our family at Undisclosed Deux.Today, however, is the actual day. My husband turns 60 today. It’s surreal....more

Could Marriage Be About Sex and Stuff?

Oh, it’s so unromantic.A study at the University of Michigan School of Public Health found that 27 percent of men and 14 percent of women undergraduates were willing to trade favors or gifts for sex. And although they weren't hard up for resources, the students surveyed "recognized the value of this socioeconomic currency system.”The study, led by Dr. Daniel Kruger and published in the prestigious journal Evolutionary Psychology concluded that  “perhaps the ‘romance’ in romantic relationships facilitates stability by avoiding the recognition of exchanges”....more

The Minimalist Guide To A Good Marriage

THE MINIMALIST GUIDE TO A GOOD MARRIAGEEDIT04 • 29 • 14...more