My First Marriage Was a Disaster - And I'm Thankful For That

Aging. It really gives you some perspective. It changes the way you see the world and your former, younger self.Now approaching my 40s, I think back to my first marriage and I can feel the grimace forming on my face. It’s like looking back at a car accident you almost can’t bear to watch....more

When Workers Hit on Me

When my apartment got flooded a few weeks ago on an early Tuesday morning, a group of workers showed up from a cleaning and restoration company. ...more

I'm on the Divorce Welcoming Committee

When I was getting divorced, no one told me, “Congratulations!” or “Good job!” Instead, they frowned, rubbed my shoulders and wanted to cry. Only, I was euphoric; I was liberated from my controlling husband and it wasn’t easy taking the final steps to leave. ...more


Marriage. Who knew one little word could carry such incredible weight? It is quite hard to wrap my brain around the emotions that overcome us, the experiences we have shared and the decisions that are placed in our hands, each and every day through marriage.When I married Nathan, four years ago today, I was a different Ashli. He will tell you that too, but he a different Nathan....more


I am easily swayed. Feed me a line that sounds halfway decent and reasonable, and suddenly I 100% agree with you/back you up. Liberal arts college was a hard one for me because I started to believe Debater #1, but then really fell for whatever points Debater #2 brought to the table. By the end of class I was really confused about what we were even discussing, much less what my true feelings about said subject were. Can I just be on everyone's side?...more

The Co-Parenting Club

“I would never be able to do that,” she says to me and shakes her head insistently. “There is no way I would give up my child for half the week. I cannot live without her. I would rather exist in my sexless, loveless marriage fueled by anger and resentment than give up my child. What kind of mother does that?!” ...more

Another Way to Look at Nagging.

Nagging: repetitive inquiring/asking/reminding, with a tone of escalating irritability. Why, oh why, do we nag?!  It annoys the nag-ee. It actually even annoys the nagger! Plus, nagging doesn't work. Even if it elicits the desired results (i.e., the thing we're rattling on about actually gets accomplished), it's with a certain weary spitefulness. So why are we compelled to do it? And why is it so difficult to stop?...more

Married With Kids? 7 Ways to Make Things Better.

“ is ironic that the child, the embodiment of a couple’s love, so often threatens the very romance that brought that child into being. ”— Esther Perel, "Mating in Captivity" Kids, you know?...more

Dear Bill | A Letter To A Man I've Never Met

I read this post at the Listen To Your Mother Open Mic at #BlogHer16 after the #VOTY presentation and reception. I originally posted it on on June 18, 2016.Dear Bill,...more