Princess Proofing :: An Introduction, Of Sorts

Ah, princesses. I was a tomboy, an animal lover, a Little House on the Prairie watcher.  I don’t think I was ever enamoured of princesses as a child.  But then, I didn’t grow up in the current monochromatic pink landscape of today’s commercialized childhood, either.  A landscape where children are marketed to from the cradle, as the Big Companies seek to earn your loyalty from the womb. And I will be frank, it ticks me off. Our children being reduced to little consumers....more

Lessons on becoming a mother

This spring I feel like I’m coming back to life after a long period of hibernation. Over the past several months I’ve been dealing with one health issue after another. Our home became my sanctuary as I focused on bringing my body, mind and spirit back to health. This also gave me lots of time to think about a major question I’ve always had: Will I be able to live up to the role of being a mother? Everything about it – from pregnancy and childbirth to parenting - has always intimidated me. ...more

I Yell. Suck It Up.

I'm a yeller.   My high pitched voice can often be heard calling things like, "Whose underwear are these right in the middle of the hallway?" Or maybe, "Do not squirt your sister!" as I call from the protection of the dining room.       <...more

Not Living Like My Mom

How do you heal as a person when your Mother tells you that you're worthless?  That you're not smart, not pretty, not worth spending time or money on?  How do you, 30 years later, become a loving, forgiving, understanding and supportive human being yourself, with that kind of beginning? My Mom never completed college, but her dream had been to become a judge.  In my childhood, she made her dream come true.  My sister and I were summoned into the living room after she had considered our "crimes" (letting the neighbor's cat in, reading "Gone with the Wind...more

Thanks, Jennifer. I did get lots of therapy, and I'm doing so well. I always "pre-post" before ...more

On being both a Mom and a Writer

I originally wrote this for a writer's board I participate on, but it relates so well to what I talk about on this blog that I wanted to share it here, too. The context is that another writer was complaining that she is limited in her reach right not because she's a mom. This is my reply:...more

My Life Can't Begin Again Some Other Day

This morning I shed some major tears over my battle with infertility. I cried because tomorrow I will be a 35-year-old, childless woman. I cried because I also realized, for the first time, that I’m scared to have a baby. I have so many fears surrounding having a child, that I’ve kept hidden from myself. But it’s all surfacing now. And I’m wondering how much of my own fears have blocked my body from doing what is most natural. ...more
After three miscarriages in the space of a year, I can relate to your story and your fear that ...more

Mothers of the World Resign, Well I Did Anyway

I resign.  Yes indeedie.  While it has been fun, no really, it has.  As surprising as it may seem I now am no longer the holder of the information to every question “Mom where is….?”  I no longer care where the flash light is.  I never did really.  I have no idea where your belt is, the one you have not worn in 3 years and absolutely hated when you found it in your Christmas stocking.  I am no longer the sock sorter.  Do not tell me if the left is wrongly paired with the right.  They are black.  I do not see that it matters.  In the pas...more

Hand To Hand

In the rush of the day, sometimes I forget...Between the million distractions, sometimes I forget...Looking into your wise eyes that remind me that there is no time or place or space, and sometimes I still forget...But at night, when the lights are off, nestled in bed. Everything is quiet.I hold your hand....more

Stupid Winter

It snowed last night.  It's really a perfect snow day.  It's not too cold.  The snow is beautiful but not too deep.  I am usually filled with such smiling joy when this happens.  But today I am dark.  I have twins who are fifteen months old.  And I'm really a trooper when it comes to just going ahead and doing things with them, or I was.  But now it is so much more difficult.  They are fast and destructive and don't last long in a stroller.  There is a lot of whining and crying.  So we stay home most of the time....more

The Fall From Perfection and Other Lessons in Raising Teenagers

I’m off the pedestal. Way off. I used to be revered. Constant hugs. Daily avowals of my wonderfulness. Long ago I even used to complain about the number of times my children would say “Mommy” during any given hour. (I once counted over 100 “mommys” before I stopped counting.) Now, I am the butt of jokes. The central character in the “remember when she...” stories, the ones usually filled with ridicule and generalized scorn. It’s gotten so bad that my children have even started calling me by my first name. ...more

I read your blog with amusement and pleasure. I'm not sure what affirmation you need from anyone ...more