That's Mommy Warrior To You

Here’s a newsflash: the Mommy Wars are bullshit. There’s no competition. There’s no blue ribbon, golden cup or flower wreath at the end. The best any of us can hope for is that our children will survive childhood and still speak to us.The truth is we’re all flying by the seat of our pants. Every last one of us. Any mother who claims otherwise is delusional at best, and a bald-faced liar at worst....more

To the Momma I Followed To Work this Morning

To the Momma I followed to work this morning:  You don’t know it, but I said several prayers for you. You scared me. Your Rush and your Hurried worried me. I prayed for you to slow down. I prayed for you to look up.I prayed for you and your little sticker family on the back of your car’s window....more

M Is for Mother Not Martyr

There are plenty of sources to tell you that you’re not perfect. That you should have a cleaner home, spend more time with your kids, lean in at work… There is always more that you should be doing. You’re always last on the list. You wake up early and go to bed late. You’re the one that hears the cries in the middle of the night.It seems like there is never a break for mom. You work hard all day and night. Whether you stay at home or work you’re balancing a long list of unreasonable expectations. You carry the guilt of those expectations. You are overwhelmed, stressed, and maybe even lost. You are a mother first and a person last. Do you no longer exist outside of motherhood?I will never understand this cult of martyrdom. You are a person, you have value, you are more than just a mother. It is not selfish to take care of yourself, in fact it will help you in every facet of your life. The chores will keep, the kids are loved, you can sleep. We propagate these rules for perfection and attack every woman for any decision she makes....more

I Was the "Black Working Mom" Example

When it came time to tell my manager about my pregnancy, I worried. I knew my explanations that I wasn't pregnant during interviews or I had found out after accepting their offer wouldn't matter. She'd just think of me as a risk....more
Thanks for sharing as I understand what you are saying. As a new mom, I was not prepared for the ...more

The Good Fight

I suppose I could Google it, but I guarantee the idea of cloning was created by a Mom. “The person who at least 75 times a day wishes there was more time. Time for yourself. Time to feel less guilty about wanting more time. Time to fight the good fight.I had a kid and immediately, without even knowing it, strapped on the weaponry to fight the good fight. The battle is simple and ugly and sits in the corner of my heart whether or not I choose to acknowledge it: I love her but I also loved my life before her....more

Why I Don't Feel Guilt as a Working Mom

As women and as mothers, we naturally carry guilt. Some more so than others maybe, but we all do it. At one time or another, we all have something that creeps up into our lives to make us feel guilty as parents. My biggest battle with guilt comes in the form of being a working mom. While I enjoy working and wouldn’t have it any other way, from time to time I have this little voice in the back of my head that says, “You should be making the sacrifices necessary to stay at home with your child.” That little voice isn’t always so nice....more
SeeMomWork Thank you, Elle! I appreciate you reading and your thoughts. And I agree - some of us ...more

Measuring Life by Ounces

Having kids changes our worlds, our worth, our anxiety, our thoughts, our percieved notions of ourselves.  I know changes happen for men too,  but I don't think it is quite as drastic as it is for us.  We women become something stronger than we ever new we could be.  Selfless superwomen.  Every thought is of someone else before ourselves, we see it all differently- our bodies are not even our own. ...more

Why unstructured play is better than OK

It seems like everyone I know has their kids in t-ball, soccer camp, piano or music camp this summer. I blame Facebook. After all, 10 years ago we wouldn't have known what 100 of our friends were doing every second of every day (and you know they only post the best moments of their lives). ...more

25 Ways You Know You’re a Working Mom

You’ve already been up 4 hours by the time you pull into work in the morning.The first thing anyone says to you when you walk into the office is, “Did you know you have something on your clothes?” The answer is always no.You know that the locked utility closet in the darkest, weirdest smelling, most remote corner of the office is not actually for storage, but the place where women lock themselves in a windowless room and pump breast milk in shame privacy multiple times a day.You don’t go out to lunch with an...more

How to Keep from Getting Distracted When You’re a Work at Home Mom

Being able to work from your domicile is such a blessing when you’re a mama. You can still get that paycheck you’re accustomed to and you get to spend a good part of the day, if not all day, with the kids too. Quality time aside though, it's still easy to get, and stay, distracted from the work you need to be doing. The next time you feel like your focus is pulling away from the job at hand, keep these tips in mind to stay on task when working from home.Get dressed for work. ...more