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And we're home. What a trip! Really! WHAT. A. TRIP! Learned a lot, met so
many dynamic fun women which included some idols of mine from Twitter and the
Blogosphere, spent lots of quality time with Cathy and Sarah, oh and saw my
country's capitol in a whirlwind 4 hour tour that did not include a trip to any
of the fabulous boutiques in either Georgetown or Chevy Chase (boo
hiss). There, that's the trip, in 50 words or less. Good? Okay, cyabai!
Ha ha, you never thought I'd shut up that fast, did you? Really? Um, no.
Since I still can't talk with my mouth, I'm talking with my fingers today. And
there's so much to tell. Like that time, on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial,
when I was tweeting, taking a picture, and juggling two other cameras all at the
same time, and I faceplanted onto the steps. Bet you saw that one coming?
Right? Yep, that was me, kissing concrete like I was meeting the Queen of
Sukmukdikistan, eating pavement like it's Captain Crunch, and instead of
worrying about my physical condition, my main concern was whether my Blackberry
or my Canon and telephoto lens survived the trip. Oh, and seeing the Limos
outside of the Willard! Finally I found out where the limo drivers keep the
flags that they screw into those mounts on the front of their cars - under the
hood, rolled up and ready to go! Spoiler Alert - they have flags for
everywhere, not country-specific, bunch of ho's! Oh, and we jaywalked once to
cross the road, flouting custom and law, but we kept a weather eye peeled
for for diplomatic plates. Why? Well, because everybody knows those f-ers are
crazy and they don't have to follow the law! Speaking of laws, we not only saw
where laws are voted on - you know, the Capitol, and we also saw where laws are
actually written - K Street! Oh, and keep this on the downlow, but I think we
might have accidentally discovered the location for one of the entrances to Dick
Cheney's secret bunker. Don't laugh! It's true! After careful
observation, I'm thinking it's the underground elevator located right beside the
Lincoln Memorial Hotdog Stand. You know, the hotdog stand whose slogan
is: "fourscore and seven hotdogs here, hot now!!!!" They've cleverly disguised
the elevator as a garbage depot, but I'm thinking it's Dick's escape
hatch/quickie lunchspot.
Other things I learned at BlogHer are: you can live off of Nerds, Macaroni
and Cheese, Yellow M & M's, and French Fries. The Gap is located on the
third level of the National Mall, right next to Borders, and down the hall from
the WWII Memorial. Sorry, I meant the Fifth level, my bad, it's really
confusing. Together, we also learned that the seats and seatbelts in our
rockin' Saturn Vue are infinitely more adjustable than we originally
believed- HT to Sarah for sliding the thingy and double HT to Cathy for being
brave enough to pull a handle while driving. Thankfully it wasn't the eject
button or the airbag test handle - that would have gone really wrong. And
that's just the surface of the vast store of information I learned while we were
supposed to be learning how to blog better.
Stay tuned, I'll tell you all about that next. Suffice to say, the major
takeaway is that you won't be reading any big improvements around here
any time soon. I know the cool kids, I saw them at work over the past few days, and I think I
much prefer being success-challenged in the blogosphere. Being otherwise just looks
like too much hard work, oh and it would require a trip to a fat farm, a trip in
the time machine to go back to being 30, and a new wardrobe of fabulous clothes and shoes. So, no, not today,
not enough time, not even if you throw in the shoes! And besides, when I got home I found out that the Wayback machine needs cleaning, along with everything else in this house! Apparently the story is that Sarah Palin's
pet Dinosaurs did a number on it when we took it out last time. Hmmmm?!
