It was tempting, when I was working on this guide to gifts that will spice up your love life, to resolve that I’d have to test each and everyone myself.

But the idea of trying out a range of sex toys, lotions, potions, fur blankets and lingerie, however appealing it was for the moment, felt both just too personal to write about and impractical, given I didn’t have the time to lock myself—and my oh-so-recent significant other—in the bedroom for a couple of weeks just so I could test everything very thoroughly and report back (oh, darn!).

So I can’t say that every gift recommended on this list has been personally road-tested, (though some of them have). But the gifts that haven’t been checked out by yours truly have been suggested by friends who’ve bought them to share with their own significant others, or tested and or reviewed by sex-positive bloggers I respect.

So, with that, here’s a list of holiday gifts that can add spice up your love life and rev up the sweetness you and your SO hopefully already have.

Sex Ed: Instructional videos

How about making good on that promise to try something different? There’s a huge boom in sex education and advice these days, with videos and demonstration classes for just about everything. Depending on your degree of adventurousness, consider pole-dancing or strip tease classes or a video, a spanking workshop or tape, or, if you’re really adventurous the male penetration classic “Bend Over Boyfriend” (Yes, this is exactly what you think, and if you go there, I don’t want to know, TMI, people, please.)

Expert Guide to Oral Sex, Part 1
In this DVD, sex educator Tristan Taormino offers a guided show and tell to oral sex techniques and a deep dive (so to speak) into the how’s, whys and where of female anatomy, Explicit but good humored, this video can be watched with or without the instructional voice overs.

Friends and lovers
Ever wonder what porn performers are like in real life—and how they feel about their private versus public sex lives? This video from blowfish, the sex catalog folks, features real people sharing about their sex lives—on camera and off—and could be a great conversation starter to discuss your own shared and individual sexuality and views.

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Spanking
Spanking is an increasingly talked about form of erotic play, and one that requires no elaborate equipment or set-ups. This video by porn star and sex educator Nina Hartley shares everything you’ll need to know, and then some.

Bend Over Boyfriend
Produced almost ten years ago, this walk-through of how couples can enjoy male penetration and strap on sex play is considered the best why and how to in this category, ever and covers everything from safety and hygiene to how to give real pleasure.

Playtime: Toys, tools, and goodies

Hitachi magic wand
The Harley of vibrators, this heavy-duty machine is a major bestseller and worth checking out. Famed among women, guys like it, too.

Chocolate stuff!
If chocolate’s good anytime, wouldn’t edible chocolate be fun in the bedroom?
This gift pack comes with 5 flavored chocolates and a brush to paint them right on.

Liberator Ramp
One of my couple friends swears by the Liberator Shapes line of wedges, pillows, and good ol’ sex furniture. His vote is for the Ramp, which supports all sorts of interesting positions, especially for a larger sized person.

Sex swing
“How do I love to go up in the air, up in the sky so blue..” Nah, this swing isn’t for the playground, at least not outside. It’s a hang on your door, see what happens one night kind of toy, and my the bloggers checking out it at the sites I visited all said this was a lot easier to have fun with than the just go install in a hook over your bed classic sex swing version.

Sensation toys + blindfold

Who doesn’t like feeling fur, feathers, or plush on their body? Consider whether you and your sweetie would relish an evening where the focus isn’t sex, its touch—and you have some cool textures to experience. Target’s got a Faux Wolf Fur Throw, you can pick up, or check out the marabou feather boas from M&J Trimmings and the ostrich feather fluffer from Good Vibes. And don’t forget the faux fur trimmed blindfold.

Great reads

I’m a big fan of erotic writing, and there’s so much out there it’s impossible to keep up. Some of the juiciest anthologies are edited by amazing women who really know what their audiences like. There are also slews of lovely photography books that celebrate eroticism, pleasure, passion and discovery—nice things to bring into your relationship, for sure.

Five Minute Erotica, edited by Carol Queen
Short, sexy stories to read together, preferably aloud.

Down and Dirty: 69 Super Sexy Short-Shorts, edited by Alison Tyler.
More short and sexy, with a little bitta edge.

Aqua Erotica 2: 12 Stories (Durabooks), edited by Melcher Media
This little collection is waterproof and can go right into the bath or the hot tub with you all. Steamy.

Revenge, photos by Ellen von Unwerth
Take a walk through bondage, corsets, masks and adventure with high fashion photographer Ellen von Unwerth in this erotic fairytale.

Essence of Tantric Sexuality, by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson
If you’ve never checked out tantra, a Hindu-based tradition of sacred sexuality, this is a wonderful couples experience, blending the sexual and the spiritual. This brand new book is an authoritative guide to Tantra’s sexual/spiritual practices, as well as a here’s how to get started guide for newbies.

And don’t forget (bullet these)

• Intimacy, sharing and feeling safe are important for a successful sexual relationship.
• Make time during the holidays to check in with one another around spending, time together, and expectations about holiday socials.
• Over eating and not sleeping enough will dim your sex life; cuddle time, closeness, and communication will make it work better.

Anyone have some great spicy gift ideas to share?