I don't have an orgasm every time I have sex. This simple fact has been part of who I am for as long as I can remember - or at least since I was 16. I don't approach sex as simply a vehicle to ride to orgasm. For me, it's so much more and it's enjoyable whether I climax or not. This works wonderfully within a long-term monogamous relationship where sex occurs frequently. Casual sex is an entirely different beast, though, isn't it?

With BlogHer '09 fast-approaching, join us for an introduction to some of the women who will be speaking at this summer's hottest blogging conference. This week's highlights: Twanna Hines and Ree Drummond. 

If I’m meeting a guy for a first date, I’ve never once suggested that we go to a gym and lift weights together, or run a few miles, or hit some balls at a batting cage. I like to pay attention to what they’re saying, and if I’m doing something strenuous I tend to focus on that instead. But these activities -- otherwise known as fitness dates -- are popular with a lot of people.

Going through the last month of post in the BlogHer Sex & Relationships blogs, I found ten that I really liked. I simply can't choose, and I don't have a theme, so I'm going to try to pair them together. Let's start sexy! I'll call the first pair of posts "OUT & IN." Raerity lets it flow By the Law of Attraction:

Some women firmly expect that a guy should pay their way on a date, while on the other end of the spectrum, some women insist on paying their half -- every time, without exception. My feelings on the subject are a bit more fluid. While I appreciate someone offering to pay my way (and will take them up on it if they do), I always try to bring cash so that I can easily hand it over if my offer to pay is accepted. I do have opinions about who should pay on a date -- keeping in mind that if you don’t want to spend big bucks on the first date, that’s okay, too.

My husband is seven months younger than I am. We were fairly young (for New Yorkers, anyway) when we got married, but the seven month age difference and when the wedding fell on the calendar meant that he was only 23 when we tied the knot, and I was half-way to being 25. "I robbed the cradle!" I liked to exclaim, although the funny thing is that he looks older than he is and I look younger than I am (or at least I used to, anyway). This was years before it was cool for women to partner with younger men. Yeah, I'm so ahead of the fads...

This month I was struck by how many of the great posts in the Sex & Relationships BlogHer Blogs start with questions. Questions about love, sacrifice, and a "pet" topic of mine: pubic hair. BlogHer Scarlettequille asks: Is there a secret mission to eradicate all body hair? Ah Yes, it's that terrifying moment of singlehood where you begin to suspect that all other single woman are ripping it off:

Singer/songwriter Samantha Murphy has a fabulous song At the Laundromat" ♫ that describes a woman spending her rent money on new boots, new hair cut and color, all for the purpose of going out and finding a new guy—only then, she meets HIM over a pile of dirty clothes, yep, at the Laundromat.“No makeup on, don’t even think my hair was combed, and it’s love, it’s love, it’s love!” she sings in the catchy refrain.

Back in the last century, when I was a teenager, I became a peer violence educator. The YWCA recruited and trained young women and men to conduct workshops at schools, youth groups, and other organized teen gathering places. We talked about the statistics of violence in teen relationships, the prevalence of which surprised me back then. I had thought that domestic violence was something that only affected adults. We talked about what people could do to help themselves or their friends if they were in an abusive situation.

OK, I should totally be writing this *next* Thursday, because my relationship turns 3 months on April 9th. But I guess I'm actually feeling pretty confident about it getting there just fine. So that's new.

I found a bunch of awesome posts for and by single BlogHers in the Sex & Relationships BlogHer Blogs this month, plus more than one funny story. Divorcing and Dating and Spiders, Oh My! We're *so* gonna start with the spider.BlogHer queenofquirky calls him The house guest:

 For many of the people I know, it’s as if, all of a sudden, the bubble burst and their income—or their credit—took a nose dive. Formerly employed writers are on food stamps, caterers are taking in roommates, and people are assessing what they have—jewelry, vacation rentals, artwork—that they can afford to sell without losing too much of their former profits.