Couples

He and I don't feel cherished because of the flowers he sends, the meals he makes or the little gifts that I get him. It's about the time we spend arranging those flowers in a vase, sharing those meals, and playing with those little gifts. Valentine's Day isn't about stuff and it shouldn't be. It should be about reminding ourselves that our relationships matter.  Read more >

At some point in many of our lives, we will find some­one to whom we are des­per­ately attracted, and yet who end­lessly hurts or exhausts us. The stakes seem so high, the desire is so deep, but so too the pain. In her diaries, Anais Nin writes of Henry Miller: "this love will either kill or save me forever." Which will it be? Will the love slowly eat at your soul as you fruitlessly con­tinue to search for the grail while suf­fo­cat­ing in its tomb -- or will it give you the courage to cru­sade, to fight to the death, and to dis­cover some­thing truly sacred?  Read more >

Last year marked my ten-year wedding anniversary. I love the legal protections of marriage -- no one argues that my husband can't visit me in the hospital or shouldn't be able to pick something up for me or inherit my money. I love the psychological aspect of marriage, too -- but it's the LEGAL aspect of marriage that ups the ante societally from living together. The legal aspect is also the part that I think we should change: We should have marital term limits.  Read more >

"Dating" your spouse when dealing with a chronic illness or pain can be difficult, and often falls pretty low on the priority list of things to do. These are some ideas for keeping the passion alive in a marriage affected by chronic illness. What are yours?  Read more >

It would be excellent if there was an equation, a check list, or some elaborate chart to complete on a spreadsheet in this post to help you determine whether it's a good idea to move in with someone. But there isn't. This is only a story about how I finally decided to take that step.  Read more >