Sex Drive: The Bell Curve of Human Sexual Desire

Humans by their very DNA and biology are sexual, but as with everything in life, there is a bell-curve range to their compatibility of sexual desire.Our sexual drive is individually unique based on the amount of sex steroids our body makes (e.g. levels of estrogen and testosterone). We can imagine a benefit for human communities to have a mix of people with high and low sex steroids, and therefore high and low levels of sexual desire....more

TTC Tips for Men: Increase Sperm Count, Quality, and Motility

Did you know that men in trying to conceive (TTC) couples can make a variety of positive life changes that may help as they are trying for a baby? To understand how these life changes can help, it’s important to understand sperm....more

Engaged people at book talk on sexual abuse in Chicago

 My signing and talk about my book, Enfolded in Silence/A Story in Art of Healing from Sexual Trauma in Childhood, happened last weekend in Chicago. People who came were very responsive and asked good questions. They also shared their experiences. They said it was helpful. That is very redeeming for me. Sharing my story takes a lot of energy (although it gives me energy, too), and I am recouping this week. ...more

My Number of Sexual Partners Doesn't Matter. Here's Why.

My number has zero bearing on who I am as person, nor does it suggest anything about my morals. ...more
As a relationship expert many men tell me they only care what the woman knows about sex and are ...more

5 Things We All Want To Make Sex Better

What Kind of Sex Do You Want? Many of us want the same things to make sex better. A large study with 10,000 people between 33 and 43 years old paints a picture of how we all would like to change our intimate lives....more

What's Really Killing Your Sex Drive?

People these days face a number of issues when it comes to managing their sex drives. They should think about how they can manage the sex drive problems that they are encountering. There are a number of important solutions that people have available to them. They can talk to professionals, read through publications and review how they can manage their sexual health. Couples can work through these problems together, providing a considerable amount of guidance to each other. They can even provide feedback and manage the different issues that they are facing. ...more
Thyroid. I have Hashimoto's, and it comes with decreased metabolism and sex drive. It's a pretty ...more

400 Days

A friend of mine just got deployed to Afghanistan. I am not quite sure how to feel. I have several friends who are in the military. None are quite like him. A guy I met in college one night while "studying" (a friend and I were actually dancing rather freely) in the student union, we formed an interesting bond.  We talked, and flirted, among other things, and eventually admitted we were more than friends. Yet, we were not together, and we occupied that gray area (much to my dismay) for quite some time....more

Hormonophobia: Media Hysteria & The War Against Hormone Therapy

The Journal of Sexual Medicine has a scathing review of the media hysteria surrounding the two poor quality papers (out of the hundreds published on the topic) about testosterone (T) therapy in men that I recently discussed. Instead of reporting a life saving benefit of testosterone supplementation as found in study after study, these studies contrarily suggested a risk of Testosterone therapy....more

Loving Beyond Gender: What Dating A Woman Taught Me About Dating Men

Long before I met my first girlfriend, I knew I had within me the capacity to love beyond gender.  I am attracted to every form; all our expressions of masculine and feminine. When I would tell people, they ask me to pick- surely I prefer one.  “I don’t,” I’ve insisted.There was a period where despite my insistence, I couldn’t quite be sure....more
@FireinFreetown Thank you for giving me a way to look at my past with more value.  I have been ...more