I am twenty-right, married, and childless. As a result, I get a lot of questions from friends and strangers alike, most of them variations on the theme "When are you having children?" Some people are polite in their interest; others are considerably more nosy about the matter. Sometimes, these questions come from people who love me. Other times, they come from mere acquaintances, at best. Sometimes, people are willing to drop the matter after a few moments. Other times,people keep pressing for information. ...more
I call this "On pleasure and personhood -- the final word."
Last year I was visiting my childhood friend, now a mother, when dinner time arrived. She squirted ketchup onto her daughter’s plate and then her son’s. And then mine. I looked at it. She immediately recognized her mistake and laughed. She knew I could squirt my own ketchup, she said, but she was just so used to doing it … she apologized (still laughing) for overstepping her role as “mother” by inadvertently mothering me.
1. Non-parents get to go to bed late and sleep in like parents used to before they had children.I do wish this were true, but it's not. Age, stress, and ill health are sleep-stealers, too, and I am lucky if I get four or five uninterrupted hours of sleep on any given night. In fact, I can't remember when I last did that.
So what are my husband and I to do now? Now that our once-full and busy “nest” is found empty and we are therefore suddenly free of all family responsibilities? “Children responsibility”; of worrying and providing for, that is! What should now fill the many empty hours and [long] days ahead that were once in-every-respect spoken for—cooking and cleaning for...chauffeuring for...cultivating good manners, and how-to make life choices that will meet their individual needs for their long-term happiness?...more
When it comes to solo travel, there's a bit of a gender gap. I've known plenty of men that have embarked on solo trips, but very few women. I've traveled solo a few times, and each time everyone from my parents to co-workers have feared for my safety.If you're a single lady who wants to see the world but doesn't have someone to travel with, don't wait for someone to join you. Just do it. Here are six good reasons why every single woman should travel solo at least once: ...more
Now that my three children have grown and flown the coop—sadly, they no longer fill the hours of my immediate world—I need to accept my new life without them and, even if reluctantly, move forward. As my children will undoubtedly be setting new roots elsewhere and begin collecting memories of their own, I realize that my husband and I need to make some important changes within our home, too....more
For the past few days I have seen this article 26, Unmarried, and Childless shared up and down my Facebook news feed, tucked ironically in between engagement announcements and photos of infants. I remember reading this article when it was first written late last year and it seems since then every few months one of my fellow generational sisters tells her experience about not being at society’s expected stage of life....more
There are hardly enough hours in the day lately. Anybody else feel me? I haven’t posted any new recipes or even hardly any pictures because my schedule is jam packed.I get up in the morning, get ready for work, pack mine and the Mister’s lunch, go to work, fulfill my evening ministry stuff, pick up the Mister from work and by the time we get home, it’s time to crawl into bed again.I’m tired. I know a lot of you are thinking, “You have no idea! You don’t even have kids!” Yea, I know. Don’t remind me....more
Lilit Marcus' Mother's Day article in the Guardian, Just because I love my mother doesn't mean I have to become one myself, responds to the assumption some people have that women who don't want children must have had a psychologically or emotionally damaging upbringing. Unfortunately, she responds in a way that harms rather than helps....more
Later this month I have a retreat with a group of ladies who serve on a board with me. We’re supposed to take a personality quiz beforehand and bring the results with us.I love these things. I don’t know why. I take them and then read over the results and think “yup, that about sums it up,” and then I wonder if other results might also sound exactly like me, depending upon my mood, and if I’ve skewed the test by just answering stuff the way I want to be rather than the way I am. Then I forget what I was doing and go do something else. Eventually I forget what the results were altogether.Never mind using these test results to make me a better person. I can never remember if I’m an ENTP, or Vermillion/Periwinkle, or an aspen versus a douglas fir, Yoda or Princes Leah, or what any of it means.I do know I’m a Virgo, but I think I’m supposed to be a Leo who was too lazy to be born on time. Leo’s horoscopes are always the most interesting. Virgo is supposed to be systematically checking stuff off her list, earthy and patient.Oh yeah. That Virgo thing. That's totally me. Except when it isn't. Which is always....more