I'd Have Hidden the Body For Her

I met Jo Foxworth on my first job interview after college, when I applied for a position as assistant to the president of a "vest-pocket" ad agency. That morning, I borrowed my cousin's skirt and shoes and took the Lexington Avenue train to midtown Manhattan. When I arrived, Ms. Foxworth’s assistant wondered why I was an hour early. Embarrassed, I went down the street, ordered a cappuccino and killed an hour. ...more
*sniff*more

The Day My Daughter Found Out I Have a Dad

For as long as my children have lived, they’ve assumed that I have only one parent: a mom. I didn’t have a dad because I never talked about having a dad. I never talked about having a dad because, in my mind, I don’t have a dad. Or, I did have a dad, but he died in 2008, two years before my oldest was born. So, since he wasn’t living when we conceived my first daughter and he wasn’t living when she was born, he had no meaning, beyond DNA, to their lives. So I didn’t talk about him…ever. ...more

Dear Mom: I'm Getting Divorced and I Wish You Were Still Alive To Help Me Through This

Hi Mom, I wanted to send you this before we talked because I’m not sure I’d be able to get it all out without bursting into tears. God, I think I was in camp the last time I wrote you a letter, and I bet you still have those in the back of a closet somewhere....more

Saying Goodbye

In another posting I had one thing I mentioned was the fact that a dear family friend has passed away. This lead me to have to write about it because when someone dies it is never really just one person. Physically yes one person died that you are mourning. Psychologically everytime someone you know dies, whether it is a loved one or just someone you talked to from time to time, all the pain of the losses before them tend to surface.  We all at one time or another have suffered a great loss of someone important to us....more

No Fools Allowed

It occurred to me today that I am sleep-deprived....more

Courage Enough. (How to Journey On After Loss and Change)

Courage Enough. (How to Journey On After Loss and Change) About a week ago, my husband and I moved our family back to Iowa City.  The city we left seven years ago for Colorado....more

Refusing to Say "I Don't Want to Become My Mother" Anymore

     I've spend most of my life either saying or thinking, "As long as I don't become my mother..." like it was some kind of motivational quote for my life.  As long as I could keep chugging along and not become her, I was doing okay.  As long as I didn't make the same choices she did, that would mean that I had somehow done better with my life.  I knew with every fiber of my being that I could become my mother, but I didn't want to.  I wanted my own life; I wanted to be different.      ...more

Independence Day

The changes continue. And like many things we tend to got our drawers in a bunch about, this particular change has made a very small ripple....more

Cat Farewells and Band Tours

When I was 16 my sister arrived at our house one day with a surprise Father’s Day present for Dad. A Siamese cat.He had always loved Siamese cats and they had a few back many years before when we lived in Victoria. However it was an unexpected gift and at first we worried if it would perhaps not work out....more

An Ordinary Day That is Anything But

We were hanging out at our favorite state park, swimming, enjoying family time, but my mind wasn't really there. Every time I got up to get something from our bag, I'd check my phone, fearful I'd missed the call....more

I am a new me

Well, my last post was more emotional than the first two. I realized now what others will (unfortunately) later about grief and loss. Grief is never over it changes you and you begin to learn to live, heal and rebuild who you are around the loss. You learn to live in the moment to moment which is much richer than day to day. You truly resonant in the seconds, minutes, moments, hours and then days your life continues after the loss. I'm not sad, miserable or mopey because that is not who God created me to be even through these unbearable events in my life. I enjoy my life and truly live it....more

Death of a Reluctant Lesbian - Ode to my mother

I said goodbye to my motherʼs physical form five months ago exactly - ironically today is also Gay Pride Parade day in NYC.   It's a double anniversary of sorts, as Mama passed on another very auspicious occasion, my sonʼs 11th birthday.   Despite not having parade kind of energy today, I still wanted to do something to honor my mother, and our family....more
Lisa Stone Thank you for the kind support. This am I did some edits (writing is rewriting, ...more