I've been thinking the last few days about those very early days of learning we will have a life without children. First, infertility, then childlessness. I remember those days, even though they were many years ago. I felt as if I had been slammed into a brick wall.
I need to come clean. My last post was about “living courageously,” but I’m finding that to be much more difficult than I had anticipated. Despite my best efforts to be strong and happy and brave, I am actually feeling very broken and weak and tired....more
It's been almost 3 months now since my Dad died. A quarter of a year. A season. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him, or think about him but I know that the last thing he would want me to do is not get on with the business of living. I know this because he told me. He wanted me to be happy. He wanted Q to remember the good times with him and not just the end. So I choose to honour that. ...more
HIV/AIDS in AMERICAThe Stigma, The Misconception, The Reality A sweet and familiar song begins to play as various people throughout the crowd begin to stand with large white posters in their hands. As they walked the room slowly, I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes. I was trying my best to keep it together. The presenter said that each year those infected by HIV/AIDS participates in a presentation in order to save someone else’s life....more
Tomorrow I am taking Buddy to stay with Grandma while I visit my cousin. This is our spa trip, the one which is part of her year-long celebration of turning 50. We planned this when she visited in September, before I knew I was moving out there. Originally, my mom and sister were coming here, but with the showings and everything, it will just be easier all around for them to stay there and have Buddy visit....more
So today I had an unexpected conversation with my almost 5 year old. It took me off guard and I'm not entirely sure if I said the right thing, or even if there is a right thing to say... We've been frequenting the local ice rink (as in every home game of our local high school time) and every time we walk in my Jack (who will be 5 in April) comments on a retired Jersey hanging in the front corridor. He asks why it has his last name on it......more
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