How to Help Your Hurting Child (When Everything Isn't Going To Be Okay)

My 11-year-old daughter looks like she just lost her best friend. Probably because in a way, she has....more
fushmush Thank you so much! I only wish you might not have need of it in the future.more

A Letter To the Man Who Molested Me

Maybe I made this whole thing up? Maybe this never really happened? We've seen each other socially for years and years. I've hosted bridal and baby showers for both your daughter and daughter-in-law. We spend most holidays together, your family and mine. How could I be so seemingly calm if something really happened? ...more
Wow, that is all I can really say! I don't know what to say honestly, but I know you are brave ...more

Dear Mom, You Gave Me A Voice

How do loss and grief become a blessing? I’ve said before that writing is how I heal. And never is the weight of grief more lifted than when I’m writing letters to my mom. Dear Mom, ...more
This is so poignantly beautiful, Lauren.  Made me cry for my own mom, and for you and yours. ...more

Music for the Bereaved

I would have been ok talking to the Rotary Club President about joining up had Neil Young’s “Harvest Moon” not come on the restaurant’s sound system.  We were meeting over breakfast to discuss my becoming a Rotarian.  He was discussing the Club's margarita booth at the local Art & Wind Festival (that just sounds wrong),  when on came Neil Young singing one of “our” songs,  George's and mine and our 32 years together.  (My husband died of cancer in 2013 )....more

The Monster Under My Bed

The monster under my bed is gone.  He left last year when he decided that sticking around on earth was too problematic…so, he took his own life last year, October 1. He wasn’t a monster of fairy tales or fiction, he was my bio-dad.  I can’t entertain thoughts of referring to him as dad or father, although he indeed was.  He was a difficult man, caustic, toxic, and as you might imagine, very dysfunctional.  He failed at his first marriage, the marriage to my mom.  He brought discord and vitriol to his second marriage to my stepmom....more

Marking a Year After Losing My Child

It's June already. Soon enough, I'll be marking the one year anniversary of the day he got sick. The day we went to the ER. The day he was transferred to ICU. The day he coded. The day we learned he would never come home with us again. The day we left the hospital without our boy....more

That next big thing

“My life is over.” “What’s the point of living?” “My life has no purpose.” " "It’s all downhill from here." ...more

Something Strange is Going On...

I am sure I do not know what the heck is the matter with me. For the last few days, I will be doing something (reading, playing Be Brilliant, cooking) and all of a sudden I start to cry. Not the loud kind - just tears start creeping out of my eyeballs and I am overwhelmed with sadness.It feels like I'm losing my mind....more

Gram, I Hope You Finally Have Peace

Gram, I Hope You Finally Have Peace I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.   ~Agatha Christie...more
RIP, Gram.more

A Game I Call “Grief Chicken”

I was recently analyzing why I feel the need to torture myself from time to time and visit something that reminds me of one of my loved ones who have passed....more

Freedom

I'd like to live without looking furtively and frenetically over my shoulder.  I'd like to face the future with more confidence in what I know I can do--and in what I've already done--than trepidation rooted in everything that isn't already perfect.  I've always been an optimist, but it seems that philosophy is becoming more and more superficial and less truthful for me.  Now I need to work at maintaining positivity and avoiding complaining and desperation.  The mistakes I've made and the people I've lost cannot be changed....more

Reclaiming My Dad, For Father's Day

Also Featured on Huffington Post, read it here....more