3 New Panty Options for Your Visiting Aunt Flo

Menstruating ladies, gather around. Do you have special underwear for Aunt Flo?...more
I just love LOVE love "Clockwork Red."  Gonna laugh in my sleep tonight about that one.more

How Do You Feel About the Dreaded Pop-In?

Just a few weeks ago, I received an unwelcome surprise: At my doorstep appeared the dreaded pop-in. ...more
I think that's it.  Space and privacy are important.  Thanks for reading!more

How Do You Remember People's Names?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,I am the worst at remembering people's faces. Just today I introduced myself to someone I already met. I've been like this my whole life, so I know it's nothing serious, like memory loss. How do I avoid these embarassing situations?Signed,Face OffCredit: Quinn Dombrowski via Flickr Creative Commons...more
an_eye4style Ha! Me too! Related to this share from yesterday: Do You Use Your Kids As An ...more

I Talk To Fruit

I give them one last heartfelt look before delivering the news.“Ok guys, it’s time to say good-bye. You’ve been wonderful beyond belief. You’ve allowed me to see things I wouldn’t have otherwise seen—you’ve shown me the world. This good-bye isn’t because you’ve fallen short—on the contrary—you’ve been a vision of beauty. I’m saying good-bye because my eye doctor reminded me that you’re 2-week disposables and you’ve worn out your welcome.”...more

5 Reasons I Want to Quit Motherhood (Sometimes)

Some days I wish motherhood came equipped with a big red EJECT button for when things get really hairy. On those days I’d just mash that sucker and watch the flaming wreckage of my crappy day plummet back to Earth while I drift ever so gently down to—well, probably down to the general vicinity of the crash site, to fix everyone snacks and collect their charred laundry. Because I'm a mom. ...more
It would be awesome if there was a pause button on parenting.  Remember that show Out of This ...more

What if I were dictator of the United States of America?

A friend recently commented on a photo I posted of myself onto Facebook. "We'll use that photo for posters when you become dictator." Hmm, dictator? I like the sound of that! There has never been a dictator of the United States. Perhaps with all the partisan quibbling, it's time....more

"Cuz the Haters Gonna Hate," Are you A Hater?

Every morning I wake up at five forty-five, pour a large mug coffee and check my email.  I usually have seventy five tedious mass emails from stores and the kid’s school to get through....more

Things I Could Teach My Son but That He'd Be Better Off Learning from His Dad

Moms struggle with their full mommy plates. We struggle with how much we do (getting kids dressed, combed, fed, clean-toothed, packing lunches, putting shoes on the correct foot - ours and our kids', telling the kids to not bite each other, and going to work) and then take on even more (taking on projects, buying presents for birthday parties, making doctor appointments, rescheduling doctor appointments, cleaning up, making dinner, working out, finding time to have a glass of wine and chat with our husbands... and friends......more

Aren't You Too Old to Say "My Bad?"

Why does the X & Y generation get to have all the new, fun slanguage?  They get to say “Totes” and “Probs” and “Adorbs.” But how original is that? Because of their lazy tongues, they shorten or abbreviate a word and then it hits it big time and catches on with the masses.  I can do better than that.  Here, I present some new Words For US and OUR time.  We know who we are!  Please help “spread the word!”...more

5 reasons parents love internet lists

When I say I love a List, I'm definitely not talking Grocery or To-Do. (Those are illegibly scrawled on scrap paper you inevitably throw out so you feel less guilty about forgetting everything on them.)I'm talking the new wave of Internet information provided in beautiful bite-sized segments that all parents can jump in and out of lickety-split. Because we all know the days of being curled up in a window seat under a fresh stack of fragrant new books, as sunbeams dance across pages of essays and 1400+ wild word musings, arelong gone....more

Pumpkin Spice What!?!

As I was scrolling through my Facebook feed this morning, I saw a picture of a box of tampons. Curious about why my friend would share a picture of Tampax®, I took a closer look. It turns out they weren't just any tampons, but rather, they were Pumpkin Spice Tampax®....more

Boo With the Best of Them!

Halloween will be here in 11 days.  Now is the time to assess whether or not you are a good mom.  A good mom will have already hand sewn an elaborate Anna or Elsa costume, complete with replica braids made out of yarn.  I saw this on Pinterest the other day, so I know really good moms are actually doing it.  Pinterest is my barometer of good momness.  I look at the amazing crafts, r...more

"Dude: You Are Not Your Fruit Plate", said the Zombie.

This is what I wanted to say to the American chef after almost five fucking hours of an interminable first date. FIVE HOURS. I wasn’t physically attracted to him or his personality. At. All....more