BlogHer Voice of the Week: Flutter
By Jory Des Jardins on April 19, 2010
BlogHer Original Post
Says Flutter, our BlogHer Voice of the Week:
When I tell people I have a blog I am always met with this question "so, you’re like a mommy blogger?"
“No,” I say, swallowing a small lump, “I am not a mother.”
No, I am not a mother.
And yet Flutter's post: "A Letter to My Spirit Children" suggests otherwise. Her readers found her prose expressing her longing to be a mother despite not having children to be as evocative of parenthood as any momblogger's.
Flutter decribes the child she sees in her mind's eye:
"... You would have dainty hands like mine, a perfect nose like your father. You would be smart, you would be funny. You would be a royal pain in the ass because you of your brains and your humor."
The vision is vivid, and then takes a regretful turn:
"I miss you, already. I miss the possibility of you. I wish for nothing more than to bring you into the world and see you healthy and well. I am not either of those things."
Flutter didn't want children; then she fell in love and felt differently. Her health prevents her from being a mother, but the desire to be one is more real than ever. Her post is grounded in sadness, and yet the image we are left with is more one of purpose delayed than of hopelessness.
But your potential, I lock in my ribcage and hope that in my next life I am good enough to flesh you out. Until that time, watch over me and fill me with your spirit.
The girl who would be your mother
Flutter expands the definition of being a mother, and of being a momblogger. Her words emanate from a shared place that belies biological reality, where some of us want to nurture and to love. It's the longing for that connection that so many of us, mothers and women with no children, can relate to.
Thanks to everyone for continuing to send in your nominated posts. Remember to nominate individual posts, not entire blogs, and keep them coming! If you want to check out all these posts, check out the BlogHer Voice of the Week archive.
For Elisa, Jory, and Lisa, BlogHer Co-founders
Jory Des Jardins writes on business and career topics at BlogHer, and on her personal blog From Here to Autonomy