Ever been stereotyped? Ever had your identity breezily labeled, cut out in cardboard -- likely pink if you're a woman -- and sidelined as silly and inconsequential by The Media, by analysts, perhaps even by other women?
Welcome to the world of women who blog about parenting. At this point, we moms don't even need faces or names -- "moms" are the most sought-after social media consumer I hear, and launchers of many a brand campaign. My former print and television newsroom colleagues cannot get enough of MommyBloggers, despite the fact that women blog on every topic under the sun, often on the very same parenting blogs in question.
But I digress. Because I'm okay with it all now. Zen, even. Why, you may ask, as the one BlogHer co-founder who is a mother and has been obviously gnashing my teeth through all of the above?
Because of On Motherhood, a post on Whiskey In My Sippy Cup. Blogger Mr. Lady's transcendental essay delivers the reader inside the life and mind of a woman for whom living with children has not only become the defining act of her life but an unfolding journey for herself:
"Motherhood is a tide, ebbing and flowing in my life. It is a push and a pull, a give and a take. It’s me giving all I have to these people and me taking everything I can from them while I have them. It’s them holding on to me while they push me away. It’s watching them learn and grow, it’s mourning the loss of their dependence and celebrating the independent people they are becoming..."
Welcome to the shining inner life of a parent, the "why" behind the pain, sometimes the agony, and certainly the hassles of day-to-day motherhood. Mr. Lady is on a quest of her very own, one that is leaving stretchmarks on her heart and her soul, as well as on her child-bearing hips.
Sure, this journey involves her children -- but it's a solo flight and utterly inappropriate to share with progeny. I notice that her partner in parenting, in this case her husband, is utterly absent from her reverie. That makes sense to me. Because this is her coming of age story -- not his:
"It’s who I have become to my core. It’s the space in between the mistakes I make, between what isn’t getting done in my day or my life, it’s the touch and the sight and the sound of something bigger than me and better than me unfolding before my eyes."
I read her piece and thought this, this is what people who roll their eyes at the blog-versions of my other least favorite stereotype, "soccer moms," miss! This post also is what's so hard to articulate to women who don't have children and don't want them: Mundane acts of folding clothes, making dinner and family flu have become sacred moments in the lives of my children, where my goal is to become a bit player -- albeit a good one, natch -- in the exciting, unfolding story of their cherished lives.
And if we mamas really do good? Our babies come of age after age with joy, even when it ain't easy. And, mind you, we sacrifice for these wins -- with unpaid bills, untended friendships and unexamined dreams of our own. That's what we signed up for, whether we knew it or not. And it hurts so good when Mr. Lady sings it:
"It’s them holding on to me while they push me away. It’s watching them learn and grow, it’s mourning the loss of their dependence and celebrating the independent people they are becoming. It’s getting flustered because the dust is piling up and the floors are a mess but me not being able to bring myself to windex the little handprints off the windows because I want to savour them for as long as I can. It’s that it’s been so long since I’ve had a minute, a day, a week to myself that I can hardly remember what that’s like and it’s the way 11 years just blew past me right then when I blinked and the next 15 are going to be over before I can blink again. It’s running on three hours of sleep, grieving for the loss of a child not my own and at the exact same moment finding a fleeting moment of pure peace in the eyes of another child."
But don't take my word for why Whiskey In My Sippy Cup is our BlogHer of the Week. Take hers: "It has nothing to do with what I’m doing, and everything to do with what I’m becoming."
Exactly.
Thanks to everyone for continuing to send in your nominated posts. Remember to nominate individual posts, not entire blogs, and keep them coming! If you want to check out all the BlogHer of the Week posts, check out the BlogHer of the Week archive.
Best,
Lisa
For Elisa, Jory and Lisa
BlogHer Co-founders
Comments
Hurrah, Mr Lady!
Our shero! Thank you BlogHer of the Week for recognizing her. This was a great post but then again, so is just about anything else she publishes.
WOO HOOO Mr Lady
Mr Lady has been a favorite of mine since I found her blog over a year ago.. Thanks for recognizing just how awesome she is!!!
But of course
I can hardly think of anything to say but, of course. She totally deserves this.
hell yeah!
You go, Mr. Lady.
-Maria
http://www.mommymelee.com
Begging Mariabird, LesbianDad to knock off
the babynip/catnip
Oh. My. Gosh. The two of yous and your pictures with your babies. My uterus is whispering "me...want...baybeee....." Must log off soon or get in trouble...
Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette
BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren't! Follow our coverage of Politics & News.
Color me shocked
Um, you sure you got the right girl?
Ms Lisa Stone, yet again you make me cry a little. THank you. This may be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. :)
Mr Lady www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com
Excuse me, sir, but
you should hear what we say ABOUT you, it's even better than what we say TO you. :) Great job woman.
Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette
BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren't! Follow our coverage of Politics & News.
Brilliant
Tell the medicated chick you talk about her behind her back. SMOOTH. ;-)
Oh, and ZJ, if you think this ass is "nice" we need to help you redefine "nice". It's doesn't mean "size of Texas"
Mr Lady www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com
Ahem
I once said you had a nice ass. I don't know if it was TO you or not, but that's gotta count for something.
You know, word gets around
LOL
Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette
BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren't! Follow our coverage of Politics & News.
Yup.
This post you refer to is one of the best posts I have ever read anywhere, on any topic. As a parent you cannot read this without being moved on multiple levels. MrLady does that to people. All the time. Damn her.
BusyDad, I feel your pain
We can clink sippy cups, toast the journeys of dads and moms, and sob on each others' shoulders, LOL.
Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette
BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren't! Follow our coverage of Politics & News.
Yay!
Totally well-deserved.
Miss Grace's Disgrace
Disgraced Shopping
tweet @grace134
Oh Hell, Yeah!
Go Mr. Lady!
Very well deserved, especially this post...just lovely.
Plus, not a drop of whiskey gets spilled
Suburban Kamikaze: Even leaving aside the quality of her ass - which is unquestionably first-rate - Mr. Lady's blog is consistently among the most original and entertaining in any category. And you are right: to call her a "mommyblogger" is really to miss quite a bit of what she does so well.
Please, bitch. You're,
Please, bitch. You're, like, the best writer in the galaxy. YOU should be uo here, fool.
Mr Lady www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com
Lady, I joined just for you
Seriously. I saw the link from Momo Fali's blog saying that you were featured on Blog Her and I HAD to come comment! So I joined Blog Her. About time, right?
Congratulations!!! You SO totally deserve this. :) I absolutely LOVE reading your blog...I totally owe Latte Mommy for pointing me in your direction :)
Welcome to the gorgeous
Welcome to the gorgeous madness that is BlogHer. I can't wait for your first BlogHer induced hangover. :)
Mr Lady www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com
If ever there was a post about motherhood,
this is it!
What a fantastic pick for BlogHer of the week. I loved the idea of motherhood being like the tide, because it is! Oh, it is! Wanted to comment on your blog, but the comments were closed. Congrats on an amazing post!
JCK
http://motherscribe.blogspot.com
P.S. Oh, and we share the same love of whiskey!
Perfect Choice
Mr. Lady has my heart.
Maggie, Dammit!
http://okayfinedammit.com