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Editor's note: More here about BlogHers Act.
It’s late summer, 2004. I don’t have any good contract projects but I’ve planned, so I’m not too strapped financially. I’ve just returned from a long stay abroad and many of my friends are asking me why I didn't just stay in Europe. The long answer to that is a bit tedious if you haven’t lived abroad but the short answer is both easy and unlikely. It’s this: I am a passionate patriot. I love America.
I’m sheepish about this as I say it. Patriotism has been corrupted over the past few years. It’s morphed into being mistaken for nationalism or loyalty to the government. It’s been stolen from people like me, crunchy lefties who think green, believe that socialism has some redeeming possibilities, and are fierce about civil rights. But a patriot I am. Living abroad makes for unlikely patriots, and were I a religious woman and not a staunch advocate of the separation of church and state, I would take this opportunity to say something along the lines of God bless America. Bless our boundless optimism, our sense of possibility, our two fisted grip on the idea that regardless of our roots, we can achieve success.
During my time abroad, I was confronted relentlessly with the same question: What the hell is wrong with America? I couldn’t answer that question. I didn’t understand how our nation had come to such an embarrassing pass but I knew that before I threw in the towel, before I gave up on it, I was going to return to the US and work to recover the democracy that I loved. I was not going to become an expatriate without making first hand effort to oust the administration that was tarnishing my nation in the eyes of my European neighbors – and in my own eyes.
So, armed with the two things an activist needs, savings to live on and time, I hurled myself full force at the 2004 election. And good things happened. It wasn’t unusual for someone to thank me for my work and to say that while they didn’t have the time, because they’d been following my experiences, they gave money. Or they found they did have the time and worked phone banks, canvassed neighborhoods, made calls from home to red state voters… I was an invisible superhero sidekick, Democracy Girl, doing data entry, making phone calls, organizing volunteers out of a crappy low rise office in a small town north of Seattle.
And when it was over, I was heartbroken. All my time, all my energy, everything I’d done to convince people to vote who hadn’t voted before, who switched their votes, who volunteered and gave money and baked snacks… all of it felt wasted. I was truly devastated. The American voter doesn’t care, I thought. The machinations of one blue hearted lefty tree hugger matter for nothing in the face of – of what, exactly? I felt I’d lost to something big and not evil, exactly, but lumbering and ignorant and dangerous and totally irrelevant to most Americans.
My heartbreak has mended somewhat. It was useful, on my post election return to Europe, to be able to say that I had devoted myself to the election and while I couldn’t really explain the results, I could say that many fine people had fought hard for the opposition. But I was sad, too sad to be involved in the next round and still feel bitter about the ability of one citizen to affect change.
Unless.
Systemic change, change of the kind I worked for, is a David and Goliath proposition. Perhaps, through some miracle, we can see a revolution, a change in government policies, a cease to hostilities, a shift in priorities… but personal change is another thing entirely. How many voters did I personally register? How many times this week did I take the bus instead of driving? What, exactly, did I do today that influences in even the tiniest way, my dedication to see change?
As I ponder the possibility of BlogHers Act, as I review the ideas posted, I think to myself, wow, these are good causes but what, exactly, am I going to do to improve the state of health care in this nation? What, exactly, can I do to end the war in Iraq? What specific steps can I take in my privileged daily life that will ease the plight of people in Darfur? As I consider the issues I’d like
