While I normally don't care to weigh in on celebrity issues of little importance, I must say I was riled up by this Jezebel post pitting 90s TV series Blossom against Clarissa Explains It All.

Granted, I've never seen Clarissa Explains It All, but I did love me some Blossom, back in the day. I remember going through a stupid hat phase, thanks to the title character's infatuation with stupid hats. I also had a ridiculous crush on "Whoa-y Lawrence," as the Jezebel poster refers to him, and a friend and I even went in on the purchase of his album (on cassette tape!), which has tragically gone missing from my collection. I mean, is there anything hotter than a nearly-shirtless dude with great hair singing about how there's "Nothin' My Love Can't Fix"?

Roll clip!

God, 90s videos were so great, in that innocent-yet-dirty way that combines chicks miming blowjobs and roller-skating. And this song still gives me those crushy butterflies. Oh, Joey!

Silliness aside, I really did like Blossom, so I was sort of horrified to hear this Jezebel writer accuse her of being a cheap Clarissa rip-off. Especially since you can watch both of their theme songs, and Blossom's is--in my opinionation--the CLEAR WINNER.

Also, her outfits and dance sequence in the Season Two intro are way more amusing. Roll clip!

Besides, who here has her own doll? Blossom, check. Clarissa? Not so much.

Anyway, I don't care what hortense thinks; Blossom rules, Clarissa drools.