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I've been toying with happiness lately, actually all my life, I guess. Perhaps we all search for that blue bird of happiness, hoping happiness will settle in our spirit mystically. But as someone who struggles with depression, and I don't mean simple, everyday blues, I sometimes go on journeys into self, screaming for answers, whispering, and humming too. I think half of me is content more than half of the time, but the other half must be whipped into bliss. What I've learned about the notion of being happy is nothing new: Happiness, indeed, is found within, and yes, our lives are works in progress.
Cliches become cliches for a reason: They contain some truth. Yet, each generation and individual seem to struggle repeatedly to find the same truth. Articles about how to be happy abound.
The question is do we believe the advice we read about being happy or do we remain in if-only mode--if only I were rich, if only I were thin, if only Bob loved me? Perhaps a better question is what do we think happiness is or resembles and do we believe we deserve it?
If you noticed in my introduction, I said that half of me is content. I did not say "happy" because that word conjures images of bright eyes and smiles 24-7. Nevertheless, I believe that when we rest in a state of contentment, being satisfied with what we have, we're much more likely to seize moments of joy. For the sake of consistency, however, I'll stick to the word happy for the rest of this post.
Now a word on what's bumming us out.
I'm sure you've heard someone say lately, "I'm so sick of this election. I can't wait until it's over!" And if you haven't heard that, then you've heard something about the bailout, folks worried about losing jobs, losing a home, or someone's expressed concern about the safety of their money in a bank. Toss in the health care crisis, worries about children, crime, too many credit cards, maybe a sick parent, the war on terror, and the latest natural disaster and it's a wonder some of us manage to rise from bed each morning.
I've been trying to live my life accepting that there's always something down the road to moan about that will get to us sooner if we look for it; so, if you must look prepare and if you don't look don't worry. Furthermore, since I was a teen I've wrestled with the lesson in the Serenity Prayer, something I learned early growing up with an alcoholic.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. (Serenity Prayer)
No matter how many articles or books I read, lectures I get from friends and family, or sermons from ministers--no matter how many rounds with a therapist--it seems a clear path to a pleasant life is in that brief meditation above.
Whether you pray to a deity or simply contemplate the prayer's words in your mind, the petition makes sense. Life's challenges are divided into to two parts: what we can change and what we must accept. What trips us up is a failure to recognize which challenges fall into which categories and the inability to bide our time wisely while we figure it out.
But for the challenges we face that we recognize are in our control, there is only one solution if we want change: we must act with courage to effect change.
Chasing the Bird
Taking action to achieve any goal, even peace of mind, need not be dramatic, and taking action to get from sadness to happiness is no different because often happiness is the sense of joyful release. In times of crisis taking action to relieve stress is acting to achieve happiness. Simple deeds such as putting children to bed, quieting our minds, and sipping a cup of tea can be an act toward happiness, for instance. In other words, sometimes the decision to do nothing for a while works wonders. At other times, however, we may need bolder deeds.
I talked to a friend today who lives in New Mexico. The last time I talked to her I was evacuating for Hurricane Gustav. We spent time then ranting about the presidential election and she said,
