The Blues

I started blogging because I wanted to speak to the masses. I didn't have one particular topic I wanted to focus on. I just wanted to be able to appeal to a large number of folks. I always wanted to write and have a profound message that all could relate to. After graduating college, my dream job was to be a magazine writer. It didn't exactly happen that way and I accepted that. At the time. <i>Maybe I was meant to do something else</i>, I told myself. I dabbled in several careers. I also wondered though, what if I had stayed the course with my writing. It was always on the back burner. So now that I've FINALLY started writing it feels great. I'll admit, with everything I'm passionate about, I have high hopes. I want to be successful in all I do. Success to me in terms of my writing is exposure and being paid handsomely well to write whatever my heart desires.

So now that I've been blogging consistently, I started to wonder when my "moment" would come. I started putting so much pressure on my self. The self doubt started to creep in. Am I doing this in vain? Will my dreams ever come true? Is this just a hobby and nothing more? Sure, anything can happen. I can gain maximum exposure or not. The important thing is that I did it. I didn't just dream about it. I didn't just talk about doing it. I actually put effort into writing. I formulated a schedule as to when I would write and what topic I would blog about. But when I didn't see the results I wanted, I doubted myself. Why?

Why do some of us doubt ourselves even when we're doing the best we can at that moment? Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves? (We shouldn't and don't do it intentionally, but we end up doing it anyway). Some may say its being impatient. Some may say fear. Fear of success or not being successful. Then after having all these questions swirl inside me, I had to pull myself up by the bootstraps. It won't be easy. It is a long and slow, sometimes painful crawl to what I may deem as success. I had a talk with one of my closest friends and she told me to stay the course.

I'm typing all this to re-iterate that its not easy to follow a dream. Its scary, depressing and sometimes downright discouraging. But within me is a fighter, not willing to give up. And I hope you have that tenacious spirit too. Whomever this is to reach, I hope it does. We're not alone. We all have desires nestled deep within us. Whether we're actively working on it or not. Don't do yourself and others a disservice by not staying the course. It's all worth it.

Salaam and Peace!

Remember to keep it cute and classy!


Farida T. Dawkins

U.S. Air Force Reservist and Blogger


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